Am I Gay / Bi? I Am Very Confuse About My Sexuality (Compiled)

[Romance]

K, i hv gone thru ur phase n understood how u feel...u r definitely bi top like me. more importantly, u hv to decide what do u want. If u r keen to know my thought process at that period of time, PM me. it is difficult to share in writing

[Guest Guest]

Hi K, I was amazed when I read your post because I've been going through the exact same dilemma and confusion as you, except that I'm a year older. Since young, I knew that I was only emotionally attracted to girls and sexually attracted to both sexes. I constantly feel the urge to experiment with other guys too and explore my sexuality, and yet I haven't done so because I'm worried of the consequences if I ever do get married in the future, I do want to try to be a good husband (if the woman has that bad a taste to pick me, she must be a keeper). Unless I marry a woman who truly accepts everything about me, including any secrets from my past, it's probably going to be stressful to keep it from her.

[briax]

Hello,

Not sure if i'm posting on the right section or place, sorry if i did. But here goes.

I'm 27 and i'm still confused with my sexual orientation... I am emotionally and sexually attracted to girls, but also only sexually attracted to guys younger than me.

I had sex with girls before and i liked it, but never tried with a guy before, so i can't say if i liked it or not. But i do think about it every now and then.

Hi, my response to your post is based on your limited information here.

First, let's look at society expectation on gender role. In our society, men are expected to behave as men and have sex with women and have romantic relationship with women. This expectation caused a lot of stress for gay identified men, and it caused more stress for non gay identified men.

Second, it is more established in terms of using labels that gay refer to a man who can have a sexual and romantic relationship with other men. Bisexual refer to a man who can have a sexual and romantic relationship with men or women. This can happen alternatively, at the same time and in different phases in life.

Third, it is also now understand that there are man who can have sexual behaviours with men, without any romantic feelings to it.

Fourth, being gay is not equal to having sex with a man. Being gay is a sense of being, a person can still be gay even if he remains a celibate throughout his life.

Separate sexual behaviours and sexual orientations, you will find a clearer picture. There is no need to plant a label if you do not see yourself belonging to any. Our sexual orientations can evolve in different stages of our lives, particularly if you are not a exclusively heterosexual or gay person.

Edited October 14, 2011 by briax

[fab]

Hi, my response to your post is based on your limited information here.

First, let's look at society expectation on gender role. In our society, men are expected to behave as men and have sex with women and have romantic relationship with women. This expectation caused a lot of stress for gay identified men, and it caused more stress for non gay identified men.

Second, it is more established in terms of using labels that gay refer to a man who can have a sexual and romantic relationship with other men. Bisexual refer to a man who can have a sexual and romantic relationship with men or women. This can happen alternatively, at the same time and in different phases in life.

Third, it is also now understand that there are man who can have sexual behaviours with men, without any romantic feelings to it.

Fourth, being gay is not equal to having sex with a man. Being gay is a sense of being, a person can still be gay even if he remains a celibate throughout his life.

Separate sexual behaviours and sexual orientations, you will find a clearer picture. There is no need to plant a label if you do not see yourself belonging to any. Our sexual orientations can evolve in different stages of our lives, particularly if you are not a exclusively heterosexual or gay person.

Ref to pt 4, by your logic, so a man can still be considered a straight after having sex with men as long as he thinks that he's straight?

[sitogang]

sorry if this is too direct and sounds rude. Do you get turn on by penis or vagina, or something else?

[briax]

Ref to pt 4, by your logic, so a man can still be considered a straight after having sex with men as long as he thinks that he's straight?

Yes.

[doncoin]

Yes.

I second that. Having sex with a man once or twice does not make you gay nor does it mean you are gay. You are curious and went to explore that curiosity.

[fab]

I second that. Having sex with a man once or twice does not make you gay nor does it mean you are gay. You are curious and went to explore that curiosity.

what if its on going for over 10 yrs but with the same guy only?

[doncoin]

what if its on going for over 10 yrs but with the same guy only?

[Guest Confirmed]

what if its on going for over 10 yrs but with the same guy only?

[alien]

I think u dun have to have sex with a guy to confirm whether u r gay. Likewise u dun have to have sex with a girl to confirm u r str8.

[Guest Guest]

Ref to pt 4, by your logic, so a man can still be considered a straight after having sex with men <b>as long as he thinks that he's straight</b>?

"gay" is defined by many in an "identity" sense and not necessary in a "behavioural" sense. most researcher prefer to use the term "MSM" or "Men having sex with men" when it comes to defining behaviours of men who have sex with men. This include people (both, homosexuals and heterosexuals who are exploring with their sexuality), homosexual persons who are in denial, openly homosexual persons, and so on.

from this perspective, yes, a man can still be straight as long as he identifies himself as straight even if he has had sex with other men. he could be doing it as part of his experimentation. in the case of a person who is experimenting, the MSM phase is usually short and he gets over it eventually (perhaps days, perhaps months). but in your case, if it is over 10 years, i would think it would be a case of a homosexual person in a constant state of denial.

[Guest Guest]

hi sorry, if i may add to my earlier post...

you could also be considered a bisexual given that you also enjoy sex with women and that you have constantly be in denial about the homosexual-parts of your sexuality.

[briax]

what if its on going for over 10 yrs but with the same guy only?

lol... interesting question. It depends on how the two men define themselves and I really meant define themselves and not deny. No one ever said that two men cannot be in a long term sexual and non romantic relationship.

The bottom line is... dun be so obsessed about labels, labels are useful for us to think about our behaviours and orientations but we are not cargo boxes, so labels do not always work for human. At the same time, I should also point out that our current understanding and definition of LGBT is a western influence, Asian societies have long history of same sex sexual and romantic behaviours that have less issues with labelling.

B

[playfulsg]

I like to have romance with girl.

But I like Man body more.

But i like boobs too sometime when i dream

But when jerk off i think about dick and abs

I like kiss and dominate girls.

but i also like to touch guys hard bod.

Am i In denial too? lol

[Guest Ironrod]

I like to have romance with girl.

But I like Man body more.

But i like boobs too sometime when i dream

But when jerk off i think about dick and abs

I like kiss and dominate girls.

but i also like to touch guys hard bod.

Am i In denial too? lol

Boi, U answered your own question already.

Gay is a sexual preference, by calling it sexual = "But when jerk off i think about dick and abs" means what u PREFER guys during SEX.

I use to like girls that way too, in fact I am still a BIG fan of boobs - but in the end we all have to make a choice

Singapore girls just doesn't make the cut for me sorrie lol

[Guest stloop]

Hiii I’m 18 this year and Im extremely confused over my sexuality. ): I think Im caught in a very difficult situation. I’m not sure if Im Bi/Gay/Straight. I’ve never ever been in a relationship before, but truth to speak, I’ve had crushes on girls and have fantasized about the hot guys in school.

Would having a thing for hot, tanned, muscular guys like dragonboaters render me gay? Or is it just because Im envious of such guys? I think it all started few years back (when I was at the peak of my puberty) when my tuition teacher always came to my house in PE shorts, sit with his legs wide spread apart which allowed a large portion of his thighs to be exposed and the bulge easily seen. The cold water which he always drank, would drip onto his groin area and he would use his hand to swipe it away. Sometimes he would come so close to me (less than 5cm away from my face) such that I could feel his heat. When he noticed his bulge was too obvious, he would use his hands to “cover up” which was very erotic. Since then, sometimes when I shower in school and other hot guys use the cubicles beside me, I would always look at the reflection on the floor and look at their dicks etc, especially when they’re so nonchalant and they don’t know I’m peeping, with their big dicks in tow and swinging everywhere. I get real horny and would go back home to cum. I do get emotionally attached to hot guys really easily and I’ve touched a guy’s cock few years back which again made me super horny. There’re some PE teachers who help me out and teach me on use of equipment in the gym as well (which there would be some body contact), which once again makes me very horny. There were a few times I even took their underwear home while they were showering and went home to sniff and jerk.

I particularly like to watch Dieux du Stade videos, where hot rugby guys pose in suggestive positions with their privates blocked. But, I’ve never ever fantasized about having sex with these dudes – I just want to see how their privates are like. Moreover, I’ve seen some gay sex videos on the net and I get really disgusted (no offence to the majority here). The thing is, I fantasise about seeing and touching a guy’s dick, yet when I view actual pictures of such stuff, I get really disgusted (not because I find it shameful, but I just find it ewww…) and close the internet browser straight away.

As for girls, there are times when I find some girls extremely cute, especially those in FBT shorts and yes, at times I just feel like grabbing their butt straight away and kissing them all over. I masturbate thinking about guys in the shower at most times, yet there are also times I think about fxxking girls, especially young, cute, innocent girls in a pink negligee and sweet perfume. I love watching sensual videos of girls showering, as they soap themselves up etc. And I find straight pxxn more appealing than gay pxxn – I get hard when I view straight pxxn, unlike gay pxxn which makes me close the internet window right away. However, I just don’t get it cos many at times, I find my eyes to wander about looking in search for hot guys instead of hot girls.

I read gay stories on Nifty and here in Blowingwind. I also read erotic sex stories in Sammyboy Forum (which is a forum for straight guys on hot girls). Both types of stories are able to arouse me very much. Yeap, so I’m actually very confused. Am I Bi?

Thanks for the help...

[koolkai]

You are more gay than bi

[PaterTenebrarum]

Who cares abt labels? Gay, bi, straight, gay for pay, transexual, etc etc. Just enjoy life.

[Guest TheQueen]

You are more gay than anything, those feelings you have with girls are pure lesbianism.

[Friendly]

I believe you are telling yourself that you are not happy with your own body size or your penis size and that is enough to make you start looking at others and loving them. Loving them in a way that it lead to sex simulation in your brain. At the same time you are also telling yourself that you are a man and should like girls.. Yes it just nature taking its cause. cheers.

[Retadin]

Just use whatever you have and go with it. Slapping a label on yourself only makes yourself more miserable. You are more than just a label. Furthermore, if u are only 18, why rush to figure it out? You've still got the time and the opportunity to explore. Like and lust over whomever you wish to

[EasleyLim]

Oh no, the super accurate scientific test shows that you're 60.22% gay. Oh well

Ok, jokes aside. Nobody can tell you what sexual orientation you have. It's really up to you to explore/decide, just don't sweat it. Enjoy the ride!

[fab]

Not sure about your orientation but u can confirm be a erotic pxxn writer.

[Guest shenderz]

I hope we can have a permanent thread or section or support group for those gay-in-denial poor souls. They might find themselves in the stories of their predecessors and take comfort in the knowledge that they are not alone.

[P_Drinker]

used to have a trainee PE teacher who tutored me math damn long ago. always comes over in fbts n sits with legs wide apart rubbing my thighs n talks centimetres away from my face... always gave me a hardon haha. miss his thighs

[XiaoMessy]

If you like, accept.

If you dislike, refrain.

If you don't know, try.

Edited December 3, 2011 by XiaoMessy

[orca888]

Wah...so any cute guys need tuition from me?

[Guest Guest]

Please dun let ppl tell u what u are. Dun need to be rush in deciding. You should consider in the long run do you prefer to be w gals or guys. Looking at guys w envy and lust is two different thing.

[Wolfdale]

Im on the same level with you, there is no worth in allowing this thoughts to bother you!

My advice is to relax and live life to the fullest! What matters is not about your orientation but about your feelings.

Take a step and see how it goes, but do remember to take a step back to see how far you have come and the things you have discovered about yourself =3.

Hope this helps you

I apologise if this has offended anybody

[Guest Confused]

Hey Guys,

Need some advice. Since young, I have been teased and make fun off by girls. Because of these incidents, I always felt that girls are a nuisance and irritated. Dunno since when, I started to fantasize about guys and start surfing gay sites. I used to quite certain that I am gay until recently.

I get to know a girl. Initially I tot of her as a friend but it seems that I keep thinking of her recently. I even start to fantasize going on holiday with her and I seems to be unknowingly doing things to please her. Only when my straight friends teased me about it, then I started to wonder whats going on with me.

Am I a Bi instead of gay?

[Blacque]

Hey Guys, Need some advice. Since young, I have been teased and make fun off by girls. Because of these incidents, I always felt that girls are a nuisance and irritated. Dunno since when, I started to fantasize about guys and start surfing gay sites. I used to quite certain that I am gay until recently. I get to know a girl. Initially I tot of her as a friend but it seems that I keep thinking of her recently. I even start to fantasize going on holiday with her and I seems to be unknowingly doing things to please her. Only when my straight friends teased me about it, then I started to wonder whats going on with me. Am I a Bi instead of gay?

A girl best friend probably?

[Guest Marad44]

Reason to Choose a Label or Not to Choose a Label: http://www.queerbychoice.com/labelreasons.html

[Guest confused]

Hey guys, I need some advice because I'm really confuse about my sex orientation.

Personally, I still prefer guys over girls but have no problem accepting girls too.

I dont mind having girlfriends provided they are the ones who take initiative, I used to have a non-sexual relationship with a female.

When watching pxxn, I tend to have my eyes on the dicks than pussy.

Am I bisexual or gay?

[GachiMuchi]

You are a confused gay. You think you are bi, but as time goes on, you will realised that you are gay.

[Guest confused]

But i get a hard on when I see naked girls.

I experimented with watching lesbian pxxn and I had a hard on too.

[Maquis]

The question is, does it matter?

[Kinks86]

I agree with GachiMuchi, u're a confused gay. Welcome to Blowingwind btw!

[pokemonrulz]

Hmmz... you might wanna think about the emotional aspect too! After all if you eventually enter a r/s, it should not be based on sex right?

[Marineboy]

You're 60% Gay............40% str8

[alien]

Accepting girls or even having a gf doesnt make u a bi or str8. Esp u mentioned something non-sexual relationship with a female. Nowadays even u r married with a female or even have kids also doesnt 100% make u a str8.

I think whether u r gay or bi or even str8, u have to be very clear on ur emotional aspects etc.

[Marineboy]

OK my theory....hehe

60/40 gay can probably choose either lifestyle...

90/10 gay prob scared to get married hehehe

Likewise 60/40 str8 might choose to have fun wiith guys but unlikely for 90/10 str8 bloke.

Nobody is perfect so no 100% either way :yuk:

Basically you are who you are....some have more choices than others.

Some choose celibacy.....yah yah yah

[Kinks86]

But i get a hard on when I see naked girls. I experimented with watching lesbian pxxn and I had a hard on too.

honestly speaking, do u get hard when u see a naked girl in a str8 pxxn, or naked girls in the lesbian version? its kinda diff leh. I used to be in ur situation..but ya.. 'used to'...

anyway, please have a right mindset b4 u get yourself in any long term commitments.

[Guest confused]

honestly speaking, do u get hard when u see a naked girl in a str8 pxxn, or naked girls in the lesbian version? its kinda diff leh. I used to be in ur situation..but ya.. 'used to'...

anyway, please have a right mindset b4 u get yourself in any long term commitments.

Yup, I will get a hard on regardless of seeing men or women naked. My preferance is still watching men though.

I wouldnt mind going into a relationship with a female provided she initiates one with me. I dont think I will be the one taking the initiative to woo her.

I dont mind having sex with women, but still prefers having sex with men.

I have never been sexually, emotionally or physically attracted to any particular girl in my life yet.

Does that makes me gay? Im 22 btw.

[Guest You]

U Stop asking us this question.

If you don't know then who the hell knows.

[Guest Vic]

Try having with a woman lor.

Trying is believing whether u r bi or gayit really does not matter lor .

[Guest Real]

U Stop asking us this question.

If you don't know then who the hell knows.

I think people come here to seek help. If you can't help then don't bother commenting please. Thanks.

[Guest confused]

60% of the pxxn that I watch are gay and 40% are bi (but I mostly only have eyes on the men)

I did have some attractions to the popular girls here and there during schooling but also those basketball players too.

My gay friend says im just in denial. Am I?

[Guest confused]

Just curious, do u guys get a hardon when watching lesbian pxxn? If u do, does it mean that you're bi?

[XiaoMessy]

Gay.