worldangel Posted February 21, 2020 Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 Joke: Two tigers are walking through... Two tigers are walking through the jungle when the one at the back licks the behind of the one in front. The lead tiger turns and says: "Hey, cut it out." The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their way. Five minutes later the rear tiger licks the other's backside again. The front tiger gets angry, but the other tiger just apologises. After another five minutes, he does it again. The front tiger turns and says: "What is it with you? I told you to stop." The other tiger says: "I really am sorry but I just ate a lawyer and I'm just trying to get the taste out of my mouth." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 21, 2020 Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 Joke: Unpaid bills Rick, a retail merchant sent an order to a manufacturer for 10,000 t-shirts amounting to $ 70,000. The manufacturer, noting that the previous bill hadn't been paid, told the accounts manager to check it. The accounts manager sent an e-mail to Rick saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the previous one." The next day the accounts manager received a reply from Rick. It said, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 21, 2020 Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 Joke: Hospital Trolley A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and starts examining her naked body. He puts the sheet back and then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over, lifts the sheet and does the same examinations. When a third man does the same thing, but more closely, she grows impatient and says: "All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?" The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: "I have no idea. We're just painting the corridor." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 21, 2020 Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 Joke: A sweet little boy surprised his ... A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and he was so proud. Anxiously, he waited to hear the verdict. The grandmother in all her life had never had such a bad cup of coffee. As she forced down the last sip, his grandmother noticed three of those little green army guys were in the bottom of the cup. She asked, "Honey, why would three of your little army men be in the bottom of my cup?" Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV. 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup'." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 21, 2020 Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 Joke: The Dentist The dentist pulls out a Novocain needle to give the man a shot, so he can extract the man's tooth. 'No way! No needles. I hate needles' the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me! The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill. 'No objection,' the patient says. 'I'm fine with pills.' The dentist then returns and says, Here's a Viagra tablet.' The patient says, 'Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!' It doesn't' said the dentist, 'but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 22, 2020 Report Share Posted February 22, 2020 Joke: It's the Native Tongue On a recent congressional trip to Western Country, one of the group spoke to a group. There was very little applause. He was followed by a man that spoke to them in their native tongue. The applause was deafening and everyone in the group cheered as loudly as the best of them. Then, still clapping, he leaned over to the chairman of the meeting, "What did he say?" "He was interpreting your speech to them," replied the chairman gravely. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 22, 2020 Report Share Posted February 22, 2020 Joke: Defining Matrimony During the spelling period the teacher asked the class: "Will anyone volunteer to spell matrimony?" Little Johnny, being sort of a precocious young boy, stood up and promptly spelled matrimony. "Now define it," said the teacher. Little Johnny replied, "Well, I don't exactly know what it means, but my Aunt Mary says she's had enough of it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 22, 2020 Report Share Posted February 22, 2020 Joke: 250 Word Essay A school girl was required to write an essay of two hundred and fifty words about an automobile. She submitted the following: "My uncle bought an automobile. He was riding in the country when it busted going up a hill. I guess this is about fifty words. The other two hundred are what my uncle said when he was walking back to town, but they are not for publication." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 22, 2020 Report Share Posted February 22, 2020 Joke: Little Johnny Goes Fishing One Saturday Little Johnny went fishing at a pond that was close to his house. After a couple hours of fishing the owner of the pond approached and indicated to Little Johnny that there was a "No Fishing" sign. Little Johnny replied, "Well the fellow that printed that sign knew what he was talking about." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 22, 2020 Report Share Posted February 22, 2020 Joke: Lost and Found A police car pulled up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa got out. The polite policeman explained that the elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park and couldn't find his way home. "Morris," said grandma, "you've been going to that park for over 30 years, how come you get lost today?" Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear, grandpa whispered, "I wasn't lost. I was just too tired to walk home." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 23, 2020 Report Share Posted February 23, 2020 Joke: Make An Opposite An English teacher asks Little Johnny: “Make an opposite of this sentence... ‘Kids in the dark usually make errors.’” Little Johnny: “Errors in the dark usually make kids. blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 23, 2020 Report Share Posted February 23, 2020 Joke: Tedium, the Other Enemy Pulling guard duty in the army is dull work. But I never realized just how dull until one night, with nothing else to do, I looked underneath my desk. There I found these words scrawled by a predecessor: Man, you must really be bored! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 23, 2020 Report Share Posted February 23, 2020 Joke: A Good Little Soldier The stylish dressed young man swayed into the Army recruiting office and enlisted. After subjecting the man to an extensive physical and psychological examination, one of the board members declared, “Well, fella, it looks to me like you are going to make a good little soldier.” “Fabulous,” replied the young man. “When can I meet him?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 23, 2020 Report Share Posted February 23, 2020 Joke: The Pool Ball Incident A guy walks into a bar with a pet monkey. The monkey begins running around and jumps onto a pool table and swallows one of the pool balls whole. The bartender/owner sees this just as it is happening. Furious he makes the man and his monkey leave. A few weeks later, the same man and his monkey walk into the same bar. The bartender, not paying attention as he is talking with one of his regulars, sees the monkey just as it jumps onto the bar, takes a peanut out of the bowl, inserts it into its behind, pulls it back out, then eats it. The bartender, angry yet curious, again tells the man to leave. As the man is leaving, the bartender asks the man, "Hey buddy, why did your monkey do that with the peanut?" The man replied, "Well, ever since he passed that pool ball, he measures everything before he eats it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 23, 2020 Report Share Posted February 23, 2020 Joke: Cash or Credit? Three guys went to a striptease joint. The young lady on stage, wearing only thongs and a smile came up to the first guy and performed her dance for him. He took out $100.00, and slapped it on her right cheek. It stuck. Then she proceeded to the second guy. She did her same dance and the guy took out $100.00 and slapped it on her left cheek. It stuck. She then went to the third guy and performed her dance. The third guy pulled out his wallet, only to realize that he did not have any cash. So, he took his debt card and swiped it between her cheeks and took the $200.00. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 25, 2020 Report Share Posted February 25, 2020 Joke: Ten Kisses and Hot Lips This college student was listening to the radio and they were playing the top ten records. She heard this song that set her on fire. It was titled Ten Kisses and Hot Lips. They announced at the end that if you wanted this record you must call your music store right away as the supply was limited. She ran to the phone and by mistake dialled a local plumber. When the plumber answered she said all out of breath, “Do you have ten kisses and hot lips"? Thinking this was a prank call he said, "No but I have ten inches of hard dick." "Is this a record?" she asked. “No just a little above average." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 25, 2020 Report Share Posted February 25, 2020 Joke: Like A News Bulletin Bill and Doug were having a beer at the neighbourhood bar. "What's the matter?" asked Bill of his buddy. "You look kind of down." "My wife just told me that my lovemaking is just like a news bulletin." "Why's that?" "Because it's brief, unexpected and usually a disaster." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 25, 2020 Report Share Posted February 25, 2020 Joke: Human Like Gorilla A struggling zoo's main attraction, a gorilla, dies during their most popular season. They can't afford to lose the gorilla so they secretly hire one of the employees to be a gorilla in a suit for an extra $500 a week. He quickly becomes even more popular than the original gorilla, everyone wants to see the human like gorilla. After a few months his popularity begins to wane so he decides to raise the stacks. He climbs out of his enclosure and dangles from a tree in the lion exhibit but he loses his grip and falls. Scared he begins to yell for help, "Somebody help!" With this the lion pounces on top of him and whispers, "Shut up or you'll get us both fired!" blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 25, 2020 Report Share Posted February 25, 2020 Joke: Before or After Marriage Woman Friend: "No wonder Edith won't look at you. It's your fault. You act like a slave, fawning and cringing before her. It’s like you don't care to call your soul your own." Mr. Wormley: "Don't women like that kind of thing?" Woman Friend: "Well, not until after marriage." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 25, 2020 Report Share Posted February 25, 2020 Joke: Where Are You Going? An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily, he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to go back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then, you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said, "Then, you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed covers and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!" blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 26, 2020 Report Share Posted February 26, 2020 Joke: The Stuck Manuscript Upon receiving her manuscript with a rejection letter back from a major publishing company, the author sent a letter to the editor. "Sir," she began, "you sent back a story of mine. I know that you did not read the story, for as a test I pasted together pages 18,19,20 and 21. My story came back with these pages still stuck together. I know you are a fraud and turned down the manuscript without reading them." The editor replied: "Madam, at breakfast when I open an egg, I don't have to eat the whole egg to discover it is bad." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 26, 2020 Report Share Posted February 26, 2020 Joke: Arithmetic After reviewing Little Johnny's report card, Johnny's mother gave praise for the marks he received except for one class. "Johnny, I wish you would pay a little attention to your arithmetic." "Well I do," Johnny replied. "I pay as little attention to arithmetic as possible." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 26, 2020 Report Share Posted February 26, 2020 Joke: CPR Class A woman in my office recently divorced after years of marriage, had signed up for a refresher CPR course. "Is it hard to learn?" someone asked. "Not at all," my co-worker replied. "Basically, you're asked to breathe life into a dummy. I don't expect to have any problem. I did that for 12 years." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 26, 2020 Report Share Posted February 26, 2020 Joke: Want Another? Descartes walked into a bar and ordered a beer. “Want another?” asked the bartender. “I think not,” Descartes replied. Then he disappeared. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 26, 2020 Report Share Posted February 26, 2020 Joke: I'm Getting A Boob Job Two women are having lunch together, discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob job." The second woman says, "Oh that’s nothing, I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached." The first woman replies, "Funny, I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 26, 2020 Report Share Posted February 26, 2020 Joke: Prices Are Going Up Two housewives met in the local supermarket. One had filled her shopping cart with Vaseline. She explained, “They are going to raise the price so, I’m stocking up.” The other woman replied, “I’d never go to such extremes to save money. I’m not that tight.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 27, 2020 Report Share Posted February 27, 2020 Joke: Never Been Touched In the week before his marriage, David sowed the last of his wild oats with all the girls he’d ever dated. At the end of that time his penis was literally twisted and broken. David begged his doctor to help him, but the best the physician could do was create a makeshift splint, taping the worn member between four thin slats. On his wedding night David crawled into bed with his new bride, wondering what he’d tell her about his ravaged organ. The woman spread her legs. “Look, honey,” she said. “Never been touched by a man.” David undid his pajama pants. “Look, honey,” he said, “still in its original crate!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 27, 2020 Report Share Posted February 27, 2020 Joke: Are You Single? Shirley and Sophie are elderly widows. One day they see a new, nice looking guy come into the indoor swimming pool of the building they live in. Sophie says, "Shirley, you know I'm shy. Can you go over to the other side of the pool and try to get to know about that guy." Shirley goes over to the other side and asks the guy, "Are you single?" "Yes, but I been in prison." "Why?" "I strangled my third wife." "What about your second wife?" "I got in a fight with her and she fell out the window." "And your first wife?" "I shot her." Then Shirley calls to the other side to Sophie and says, "Yoo hoo, he's single!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 27, 2020 Report Share Posted February 27, 2020 Joke: Send Me Your Happiness A romantic lady sent a text to her lover saying, "If you are sleeping, send me your dream. If you are crying, send me your tears. If you are smiling, send me your happiness!" The lover replied, "I am in the toilet." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 27, 2020 Report Share Posted February 27, 2020 Joke: Would You Mind Talking to Me? A guy walks up to a beautiful girl in a Supermarket says, "Excuse me, but I seemed to have lost my girlfriend. Would you mind standing here and talking to me for a few minutes?" The girl replies, "I guess, but I don't see how that would help any?" The guy answers, "Well, you see, every time I meet a beautiful woman with boobs like yours, my girlfriend appears out of nowhere." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 28, 2020 Report Share Posted February 28, 2020 Joke: Once upon a time there was a non-conforming ... Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to fly south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell to Earth in a barnyard, nearly frozen solid. A cow passed by where he had fallen, and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings! Warm and happy, able to breath, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by, and hearing the chirping he investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him. The Moral of the Story: Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy Everyone who gets you out of crap is not necessarily your friend. And if you're warm and happy in a pile of crap, you might just want to keep your mouth shut. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 28, 2020 Report Share Posted February 28, 2020 Joke: A doctor is complaining to a mechanic... A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 28, 2020 Report Share Posted February 28, 2020 Joke: Roar.... A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, "ROAR," step, step, "ROAR," all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 28, 2020 Report Share Posted February 28, 2020 Joke: Growing Tomatoes A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden naked in my trench coat and flash them. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much." Well, the woman was so impressed; she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best. One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?" No", she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 28, 2020 Report Share Posted February 28, 2020 Joke: Buying Turkey Alice entered a butcher shop just when it was about to close. She said to the butcher, "Thank Goodness I made it in time! Do you have any chicken?" The butcher opened his refrigerator and took out his only chicken, and plops it onto the scale. It weighs three and a half pounds. "Don't you have anything bigger?" Alice asks. The butcher returns the chicken to the fridge, takes it out again, and plops it onto the scale, only this time, he keeps his thumb on the chicken. The scale shows four and a half pounds. "Great!" says Alice. "I'll have both of them please." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 Joke: Morty was in his usual place in... Morty was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied, "Why thank you, dear!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 Joke: The Train A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both "married to other people," found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!", he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket." After a moment of silence, he farted. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 Joke: A lawyer walks into a bar and ... A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is. "Well," said the drunk, "it looks like plastic and feels like rubber." "Let me have it," said the lawyer. Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and forefinger, examining it closely. "Yes," he finally said, "it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but i don't know what it is. Where did you get it?" "From my nose," the drunk replied. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 Joke: Your chances are better... An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating proposing. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend. "Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 Joke: A couple had been married for ... A couple had been married for several years when suddenly the wife decides she'd like to have breast implants. The husband says, "Now, honey, you know we can't afford that kind of thing right now." "But I see you looking at other women," pleaded his wife, "and I want to be as attractive as they are to you." Days go by and the wife keeps insisting she needs breast implants, despite the protests of her husband. Finally, the husband has had it. So he says to his wife, "Honey, I have an idea. Every day, about twice a day, wad up some toilet paper, then rub it between your breasts. Repeat it 3 or 4 times each time." "You think that'll make my breasts larger!?" asked his wife. "Why not?" says the husband, "It worked on your ass!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 1, 2020 Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 Joke: What Are His Intentions? Sally had been dating one man steadily for almost a year, and her mother was growing concerned. “Exactly what are his intentions?” She demanded. “Well, Mom, I’m really not sure,” Sally said. “He’s been keeping me pretty much in the dark." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 1, 2020 Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 Joke: The Young Lawyer A prominent young lawyer died on his way to court, and found himself before the gates of Heaven. When he arrived, a chorus of angels appeared, singing in his honour. St. Peter himself came out to shake his hand. "Mr Jones," said St. Peter, "it is a great honour to have you here at last. You are the first being to break Methuselah's record for longevity. You have lived 1026 years." "What are you talking about?" asked the lawyer. "I'm 46." "46? But aren't you Steven Jones? The lawyer from Brooklyn" "Yes," the lawyer answered. "Let me check the records," said St. Peter. He slapped his hand against his forehead. "Oh, how silly of us. Now I see the mistake! We accidentally calculated your age by adding up the hours you billed to your clients!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 1, 2020 Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 Joke: Alien At the Bar An alien is in a bar sitting next to this guy. Every time he takes a drink, he spins on his stool, pokes the guy next to him and goes bzzz. He does these two or three times. Finally, the guy gets annoyed and tells the alien that if he doesn't quit it, he will beat him up. The alien takes a drink, spins his stool, pokes the guy and goes bzzz. This infuriates the man, and he takes him outside and pulls down his pants and stands back aghast. "There's nothing there! How so you people have sex?" The alien smiles, and goes bzzz. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 1, 2020 Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 Joke: You've Had It! A ninety-year-old man goes to a hooker. When he gets undressed, she looks at his limp member and says, “Mister, you’ve had it.” Without missing a beat he says, “Thank you very much… how much do I owe you?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 1, 2020 Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 Joke: Go to the Back Seat This guy and his girlfriend were at 'Lookout Point', where the younger crowd went to make out. They started heavily making out guy thinking he was going to score asked the girl, "Do you want to go to the back seat?" She replies, "No!" So respecting her choice he kindly went back to making out with her. Ten minutes later he asks again, "Do you want to go to the back seat?" Once again she says "No!" and he goes back to work. Another ten minutes go by and he asks, "Do you want to go to the back?" She once again says, "No!" Pissed off he says, "Why the hell not?" "Because I want to stay up here with you!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 2, 2020 Report Share Posted March 2, 2020 Joke: The Special Mirror In Las Vegas there's a nightclub that has a very special mirror in the ladies’ room. When you stand in front of this mirror and tell a lie the mirror swallows you. A rather ugly woman stands in front of the mirror and says, ' I think I am the most beautiful woman in the whole world!'' SHUM! The mirror swallows her. Then a bigger size woman stands in front of it and says, "I think I am the sexiest woman on earth!'' SHUM! The mirror swallows her. Afterwards a very good looking-sexy blonde stands in front of the mirror and says, ''I think..." SHUM! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 2, 2020 Report Share Posted March 2, 2020 Joke: Idiots In the Room "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic lecturer. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the lecturer with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student. "But I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 2, 2020 Report Share Posted March 2, 2020 Joke: Expose Yourself to Art Told by his psychiatrist to stop spending all his time reading pornography and to expose himself to real art, the perpetually horny young man took his advice. So he travelled to the Louvre and he opened his trench coat in front of the Mona Lisa. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 2, 2020 Report Share Posted March 2, 2020 Joke: And the Rum? “What’s that drink you’re mixing?” the stranger asked the bartender in the exotic Caribbean bar. “I call this a rum dandy,” said the bartender. “What’s in it?” asked the stranger. “Sugar, milk, and rum,” said the bartender. “Is it good?” asked the stranger. “Sure,” said the barkeep. “The sugar gives you pep, the milk gives you energy.” “And the rum?” asked the stranger. “Ideas about what to do with all that pep and energy,” replied the bartender. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 2, 2020 Report Share Posted March 2, 2020 Joke: I Want A Quickie A man goes into a restaurant. A beautiful waitress comes over to serve him and asks what he would like. He says, “I want a quickie.” She slaps him and says, “Just give me your order, mister!” The man says, “I want a quickie!” She slaps him again. “Last chance, what do you want?” The man insists, “Look, I really, really want a quickie!” Another customer leans over and says, “I believe that’s pronounced quiche.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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