worldangel Posted August 27, 2025 Posted August 27, 2025 Joke: Team Spirit At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 27, 2025 Posted August 27, 2025 Joke: A couple pulled into the drive... A couple pulled into the driveway after their first date. The guy leans over and gives the girl a long, slow kiss. While he's kissing her, he quietly unzips his pants, takes her hand, and puts it on his penis. When she realizes what it is, she screams, jumps out of the car, and yells back at him as she starts closing the car door, "I've got just two words for you, Drop Dead!!" "And I've got two words for you too," the guy shrieks, "LET GO!!!!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 27, 2025 Posted August 27, 2025 Joke: Traffic circle Ditzy friend to another: "I failed the driving test. I entered the traffic circle and the sign said '30 mph' so I drove 30 times around." The other friend responds sympathetically, "You probably counted wrong." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 28, 2025 Posted August 28, 2025 Joke: Finding Inner Beauty Preparing for a yard sale at our house, my wife and I decided to put out a mirror we'd received as a wedding gift. Because of its garish aqua coloured metal frame we just couldn't find a room in our house where it looked good. Shortly after the sale started, a man looking to decorate his apartment bought it for one dollar. 'This is a great deal,' he said excitedly. 'It still has the plastic on it.' Then he peeled off the aqua coloured protective covering to reveal a beautiful gold finished frame. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 28, 2025 Posted August 28, 2025 Joke: Just Check-up A naked woman is bouncing on her bed singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous! What on earth do you think you're doing?" She says, "I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen year old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 45-year-old ass?" "Your name never came up, " she replied. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 28, 2025 Posted August 28, 2025 Joke: I'll Take Up Sports The wife was telling me I need more exercise. I told her, "Well, I'll take up sports then." She laughed and said, "Why don't you just order the sports channel on cable? Shaking your fist at the TV and yelling at the games is more exercise than you'll get actually playing them." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 28, 2025 Posted August 28, 2025 Joke: Four legs A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 29, 2025 Posted August 29, 2025 Joke: Headache Remedy "What does your mother do for a headache?" "She sends me out to play." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 29, 2025 Posted August 29, 2025 Joke: My kids love going to the... My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long. "Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 29, 2025 Posted August 29, 2025 Joke: I think I'm shrinking! A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 29, 2025 Posted August 29, 2025 Joke: Phone sex I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 30, 2025 Posted August 30, 2025 Joke: Stolen Car A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken in to his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal, even the accelerator," he cried out. However, before the police investigation could get under way the phone rang a second time, with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," said the drunk with a hiccup, "I got in the backseat by mistake." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 30, 2025 Posted August 30, 2025 Joke: Half-drunk A man comes home from a night of drinking. As he falls through the doorway, his wife snaps at him: "What's the big idea coming home half drunk?" The man replies: "I'm sorry, honey. I ran out of money." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 30, 2025 Posted August 30, 2025 Joke: Just Like Family Saw a sign at a store that said, "We treat you like family." I'm not going in there. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 30, 2025 Posted August 30, 2025 Joke: Wool Socks Why did the woman give her fiance wool socks? She didn't want him to get cold feet. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 31, 2025 Posted August 31, 2025 Joke: The seven-year old girl told her... The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor." "Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?" "Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 31, 2025 Posted August 31, 2025 Joke: Things sure have changed... For the first time in many years, as an old man travelled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents." "Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 31, 2025 Posted August 31, 2025 Joke: Paying For His Mistake A husband and wife had a big argument. Frustrated and fed up, the wife called up her mom and said, "We fought again, I can't do this anymore. I am coming to live with you." Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 31, 2025 Posted August 31, 2025 Joke: 21st Century Newspaper I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. 'This is the 21st century,' she said. 'We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.'. I can tell you this... That fly never knew what hit him! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 1, 2025 Posted September 1, 2025 Joke: The passengers were leaving the ... The passengers were leaving the plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied passenger paused to congratulate the flight attendant. "Stewardess," he said happily, "I want to compliment you and the crew and especially the captain for getting here right on time. It's not often that an airline gets to where it's going exactly when they claim it will. I'm going to call your home office and let them know how pleased I am." "Why, thank you, sir," the flight attendant answered, "but I think you should know something ... this is yesterday's flight." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 1, 2025 Posted September 1, 2025 Joke: Remove the curse... An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation "I now pronounce you man and wife". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 1, 2025 Posted September 1, 2025 Joke: How Fast Was I Going? "When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least." "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 1, 2025 Posted September 1, 2025 Joke: Ethical Problem An attorney had just finished a consultation with an elderly, nearly blind widow, for which he charged her $100. The widow opened her purse and removed a $100 bill. When the lawyer accepted it, he noticed there was another 100 stuck to it. Immediately the lawyers keen legal mind realized he was faced with a vital ethical question: Should he tell his partner? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 2, 2025 Posted September 2, 2025 Joke: The blind date After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died." "Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 2, 2025 Posted September 2, 2025 Joke: Winning the Lottery Interviewer: "Congratulations on winning the lottery." Farmer: "Thank you." Interviewer: "Do you have any special plans for spending all of that money?" Farmer: "Nope. Not really. I'm just gonna keep farming until the lottery money is all gone." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 2, 2025 Posted September 2, 2025 Joke: Butler The minister and his wife place an ad for a butler. Early the next morning a nicely dressed young man appears at their front door. The minister asks him, "Can you fix breakfast by 7:00 a.m. every day?" "Well ... I guess I can." "And can you make the beds, dust the living room, do the dishes, cut the grass, and polish the silver also?" "Gee, Sir, I just came by to see about getting married. But if it's going to be that much work, you can count me out!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 2, 2025 Posted September 2, 2025 Joke: Viagra... An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said "That's no problem. How many do you want?" The man answered" Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces." The pharmacist said "That wont do you any good." The elderly gentleman said "That's alright. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 3, 2025 Posted September 3, 2025 Joke: Being Alone A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" the man shouted "NO why don¡¯t you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 3, 2025 Posted September 3, 2025 Joke: A young lady came home from a ... A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 3, 2025 Posted September 3, 2025 Joke: Two girlfriends were speeding ... Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Fuck!" cursed the brunette. "Are his flashers on? The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope....yup....." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 3, 2025 Posted September 3, 2025 Joke: For two solid hours, the lady ... For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children. She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren. "Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me... what do you think of my grandchildren?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 4, 2025 Posted September 4, 2025 Joke: First day at school The child comes home from his first day at school. His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?" The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 4, 2025 Posted September 4, 2025 Joke: Halls Of Justice A judge was annoyed to find that his car wouldn't start. He called a taxi, and soon one arrived at his house. Climbing in, he told the driver to take him to the halls of justice. "Where are they," asked the driver. "You mean to say that you don't know where the courthouse is?" asked the incredulous judge. "The courthouse? Of-course I know where that is." replied the driver. "But I thought you said you wanted to go to the 'halls of justice.'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 4, 2025 Posted September 4, 2025 Joke: Morning Run I went out for a run this morning, but I came back after a couple of minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I can't run for more than a couple of minutes. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 4, 2025 Posted September 4, 2025 Joke: Fly spray A man walked into a hardware store and picked up a can of fly spray. "Is this good for wasps?" he asks the assistant. To which she replies "No, it kills them." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2025 Posted September 5, 2025 Joke: After spending a night at a hotel... After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table. "Thanks," she said. "But I only charge $20." "Twenty bucks for the entire night?" the amazed politician replied. "You can't make a living on that." "Oh, don't worry," the whore replied. "I do a little blackmail on the side!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2025 Posted September 5, 2025 Joke: What Their Daddy's Do A third grade teacher asked her students to, one by one, stand in front of the class and tell what their Daddy's do. Little Mary went first, “My daddy is a doctor and he saves people's lives” “That's wonderful Mary. Now how about you Jane, what does your daddy do?” “My daddy is a lawyer and he puts bad people in jail,” says Jane “Very good Jane. Ok Johnny, what does your daddy do?” “My daddy is dead” says Johnny “Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that Johnny,” said the teacher, “what did he do before he died?” “He turned blue and shit on the carpet” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2025 Posted September 5, 2025 Joke: Learning About Democracy I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2025 Posted September 5, 2025 Joke: A man and his wife were sitting... A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will” "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2025 Posted September 6, 2025 Joke: Scared Dad Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat. The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed." The second kid replies, "Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2025 Posted September 6, 2025 Joke: Fuzz Phillip and Phoebe are parked in Lover's Lane. He embraces her with one arm, and begins to explore with the other hand. Looking over her shoulder, he sees a policeman approaching. "Awwwww Hell !" he murmured, "Fuzz !" "What did ya expect ?" Phoebe sez, "A perm?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2025 Posted September 6, 2025 Joke: Spring Cleaning I'm not a fan of spring cleaning. Let's be honest, I'm not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2025 Posted September 6, 2025 Joke: The doctor... A newly hired nurse listened while the doctor was yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!" She asked another nurse, "Why is he going on like that?" The experienced nurse replied, "Oh, he just likes to call the shots around here." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 7, 2025 Posted September 7, 2025 Joke: Tennis lesson A lady goes in to take a tennis lesson, and the instructor notices she is using the wrong grip. After several failed attempts to correct her, he finally says "OK, just grip it like you do your husband's member". After that, she immediately rips a couple of top spin winners down the line. The instructor says, "Wow that's great. Now just try taking the racket out of your mouth." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 7, 2025 Posted September 7, 2025 Joke: Working late It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way. "And just where have you been until this hour?" demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home. "Down at the office," he replied, "working like a dog." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 7, 2025 Posted September 7, 2025 Joke: A Dangerous Place Restaurant bathrooms are really, really dangerous... So many of my first dates have gone to use them and vanished. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 7, 2025 Posted September 7, 2025 Joke: A true tech support story... Tech Support: 'What does the screen say now.' Person: 'It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.' Tech Support: 'Well?' Person: 'How do I know when it's ready?' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2025 Posted September 8, 2025 Joke: A passenger train is creeping... A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally. it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2025 Posted September 8, 2025 Joke: Leaving Dan In My Will A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will. 'To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million,' the attorney reads. 'To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million.' 'And finally,' the lawyer concludes, 'to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong. Hi Dan!' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2025 Posted September 8, 2025 Joke: A man realized he needed to purchase ... A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman. "Anything from $2 to $2,000." "Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer. The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket." "How does it work?" asked the customer. "For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
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