worldangel Posted August 14, 2025 Posted August 14, 2025 Joke: Uncle Roy My Uncle Elroy used to sell pants for 25 cents apiece. Everyone called him Quarter Roy. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 15, 2025 Posted August 15, 2025 Joke: Goldfish burial Little eight-year-old Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was doing, he asked: "What are you doing there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died," Nancy sobbed. "And I've just buried him." The obnoxious neighbour laughed and said condescendingly: "That's a really big hole for a little goldfish, don't you think?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth with her shovel and replied: "That's because he's inside your cat." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 15, 2025 Posted August 15, 2025 Joke: Heaven and Hell A young woman came home and told her mom that her steady boyfriend had proposed, but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell. "Marry him anyway, honey. Between the two of us, we'll show him just how very wrong he is." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 15, 2025 Posted August 15, 2025 Joke: Grandma! A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased. He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words "QUEEN SIZE". He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "Look Granny, YOU wear the same size as our bed!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 15, 2025 Posted August 15, 2025 Joke: Two men were talking... Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 16, 2025 Posted August 16, 2025 Joke: Foreman One day, Uncle Joe got fired from his construction job. His nephew asked him what happened. “You know what a foreman is?” he asked. “The one who stands around and watches the other men work?” “What’s that got to do with it?” he asked. “Well, he just got jealous of me,” Uncle Joe explained. “Everyone thought I was the foreman.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 16, 2025 Posted August 16, 2025 Joke: I've Learned My Lesson I was driving home from work when I was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. Three days later, I got the same ticket, at the same stop, from the same cop. “So, have you learned anything?” asked the cop. “Yes, I have,” I began. “I’ve learned it's time to find a new way home from work.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 16, 2025 Posted August 16, 2025 Joke: Trying to win a Nobel Prize A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?" The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks the man, puzzled. "Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 16, 2025 Posted August 16, 2025 Joke: Fe = Iron. Male = Man Fe = Iron. Male = Man. Fe + Male = Iron Man. I have been having sex with Iron Man. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 17, 2025 Posted August 17, 2025 Joke: A chicken and an egg are lying... A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off. The egg mutters, to no one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 17, 2025 Posted August 17, 2025 Joke: My Wife a Chicken A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!" The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?" "Two years," says the man. "Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 17, 2025 Posted August 17, 2025 Joke: Invisible patient - Doctor, there is a patient on line 1 that say he's invisible. - Well, tell him I can't see him right now. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 17, 2025 Posted August 17, 2025 Joke: The Celebrity Cycle A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known... And then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 18, 2025 Posted August 18, 2025 Joke: I'm lost A small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Chips and beer." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 18, 2025 Posted August 18, 2025 Joke: Diagnosis The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 18, 2025 Posted August 18, 2025 Joke: The new baby A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard some of his parents' private conversations, he adds, "And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call it Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 18, 2025 Posted August 18, 2025 oke: The Hard Worker Boss: "Working hard here, Jimmy?" Jimmy: "Ever since I heard you coming down the stairs, boss!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 19, 2025 Posted August 19, 2025 Joke: The Truth About Nutrition Here is the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than do the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. CONCLUSION Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 19, 2025 Posted August 19, 2025 Joke: FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 19, 2025 Posted August 19, 2025 Joke: Old Man Hot Mama An old hearing impaired gentleman visited his doctor and he had been warned to be careful as he had a heart murmur. The doctor was therefore most surprised to see the old fellow out on the town, whooping it up. He got his attention and took him aside. "Don't you remember what I told you the other day?" he inquired. "Oh, I surely do." the old gent replied, "Best dang advice I ever had. I did just as you said. I got me a hot mama and I'm cheerful" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 19, 2025 Posted August 19, 2025 Joke: A distraught senior citizen ... A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?' 'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, 'I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 19, 2025 Posted August 19, 2025 Joke: Bad Date After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died." "Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 20, 2025 Posted August 20, 2025 Joke: The Speed of Light My brain travels at the speed of light... One second it’s here and the next it’s 186,000 miles away. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 20, 2025 Posted August 20, 2025 Joke: Why don't some couple... “Why don't some couples go to the gym? - Because some relationships don't work out.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 20, 2025 Posted August 20, 2025 Joke: Foreman One day, Uncle Joe got fired from his construction job. His nephew asked him what happened. “You know what a foreman is?” he asked. “The one who stands around and watches the other men work?” “What’s that got to do with it?” he asked. “Well, he just got jealous of me,” Uncle Joe explained. “Everyone thought I was the foreman.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 20, 2025 Posted August 20, 2025 Joke: I've Learned My Lesson I was driving home from work when I was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. Three days later, I got the same ticket, at the same stop, from the same cop. “So, have you learned anything?” asked the cop. “Yes, I have,” I began. “I’ve learned it's time to find a new way home from work.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 21, 2025 Posted August 21, 2025 Joke: The seven-year old girl told her... The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor." "Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?" "Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 21, 2025 Posted August 21, 2025 Joke: Things sure have changed... For the first time in many years, as an old man travelled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents." "Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 21, 2025 Posted August 21, 2025 Joke: Paying For His Mistake A husband and wife had a big argument. Frustrated and fed up, the wife called up her mom and said, "We fought again, I can't do this anymore. I am coming to live with you." Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 22, 2025 Posted August 22, 2025 Joke: An Apple A Day My Grandma always used to say, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away. " I don't know if that's true, or just one of Granny's myths. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 22, 2025 Posted August 22, 2025 Joke: Getting a Cake Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'll be playing in my room for the next two hours. I sure would like a piece of cake when you're finished." Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cooled cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Golly, it worked!" Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?" Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 22, 2025 Posted August 22, 2025 Joke: The Shopping Criminal It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant. "That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 22, 2025 Posted August 22, 2025 Joke: Trivial Pursuit A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. When it was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature". Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it? She thought for some time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 23, 2025 Posted August 23, 2025 Joke: Two men are out ice fishing at... Two men are out ice fishing at their favourite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Rick says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." Dave continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 23, 2025 Posted August 23, 2025 Joke: Strangers In The Night A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 a.m. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don't know, some dumb bitch asking if the coast is clear." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 23, 2025 Posted August 23, 2025 Joke: Writing letters to son The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. One student fell into a cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping. Didn't realize how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note: "Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Dad." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 23, 2025 Posted August 23, 2025 Joke: Lesson in logic A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "To withdraw all his money from his savings account?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 24, 2025 Posted August 24, 2025 Joke: Baseball boy A little boy walked up to home plate in an empty baseball field, with his bat and ball in hand. As he threw the ball up in the air, he proclaimed, "I am the best ball player ever!" He swung with all his might, but missed. He did the same thing and missed again. He picked up the ball, tossed it up one more time, said "I am the best ball player in the world!" Then he swung and missed again. "Wow!" he said. "What a pitcher!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 24, 2025 Posted August 24, 2025 Joke: Can I take his place? An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. "So, what is it?" grumbled the governor. "Judge Garber has just died" said the attorney, "and I want to take his place." The governor replied: "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 24, 2025 Posted August 24, 2025 Joke: Ski Buddies Three guys go on a skiing holiday together and to save money they rented only one room. After a full day on the slopes, they return to their room, exhausted and cold. To keep warm, they all sleep in the same bed. The next morning, the guy on one side of the bed says he had a funny dream that someone was jerking him off. The guy on the other side of the bed said that he had the same dream! The the guy in the middle said, "I had a dream last night, too. But I only dreamt that I was skiing." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 24, 2025 Posted August 24, 2025 Joke: It Takes A Village I read somewhere that it takes a village to raise a child... Where is this village and is there a number you can call? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 25, 2025 Posted August 25, 2025 Joke: Public pool Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool. "You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "I'm going to report you." "But everyone pees in the pool," said Little Johnny. "Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 25, 2025 Posted August 25, 2025 Joke: Easy Rider Car Dealer: "This car had just one careful owner." Buyer: "But look at it, it's a wreck!" Car dealer: "Well yes, you see, the other seven owners weren't quite as careful." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 25, 2025 Posted August 25, 2025 Joke: Problem Teacher Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?" Student: "A serious drinking problem." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 25, 2025 Posted August 25, 2025 Joke: Two bachelors... Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and....'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 26, 2025 Posted August 26, 2025 Joke: Getting Revenge With Marriage Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 26, 2025 Posted August 26, 2025 Joke: Who was it? She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds. "Who was it?" he asked. "My husband," she replied. "I better get going," he said. "Where was he?" "Relax. He's downtown playing poker with you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 26, 2025 Posted August 26, 2025 Joke: Two lawyers Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case. "Look," said one to the other, "let's be honest with each other." "Okay, you first," replied the other. That was the end of the discussion. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 26, 2025 Posted August 26, 2025 Joke: Fool in love... After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted August 27, 2025 Posted August 27, 2025 Joke: Fairy Tale Beginnings How do you start a fairy tale in the modern era? "If elected, I promise..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
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