worldangel Posted September 8, 2025 Posted September 8, 2025 Joke: Suit Yourself The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when i was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, “Fine, suit yourself.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2025 Posted September 9, 2025 Joke: Take Your Kid To Work Day An 8-year old girl went to the office with her father on 'Take your kid to work Day'. As they walked round the office she started crying and getting cranky. Her father asked what was wrong. As the staff gathered round she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2025 Posted September 9, 2025 Joke: It was the first day of school... It was the first day of school and the teacher was asking the little boy about his family. "And what does your Daddy do?" "He's a magician." "That must be exciting, what tricks can he do?" "He can saw people in half." "That is clever, and tell me do you have any brothers or sisters?" "Yes, one half-brother, and two half-sisters." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2025 Posted September 9, 2025 Joke: Stiff Neck A five-year old boy comes to visit his grandparents and notices his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocker, wearing only a shirt, naked from the waist down. "Grandpa, whatcha' doing? You're weenie's out and everybody can see!" he exclaimed. Grandpa looked off in the distance, not answering. "Grandpa, whatcha' doin' sitting out here with no pants on?" he asked again. Grandpa looked at him and said, "Son, last week I sat here with no shirt on, Just watching the cars go by.... and I got a stiff neck. This is your Grandma's idea." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2025 Posted September 9, 2025 Joke: Auto-correct walks into a bar... Auto-correct walks into a bar And the batman says, "why the log fence?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 11, 2025 Posted September 11, 2025 Joke: Which Book? A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, “Which book has helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “That would be my husband’s check book.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 11, 2025 Posted September 11, 2025 Joke: Lesson in logic A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "To withdraw all his money from his savings account?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 11, 2025 Posted September 11, 2025 Joke: Perfect... A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married? Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman ... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl." "Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least on girl that you wanted to marry." "Yes, there was one girl .. once. I guess she was the one perfect girl .. the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything .. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me." "Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend. "She was looking for the perfect man," he said. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 11, 2025 Posted September 11, 2025 Joke: A postcard "And will there be anything else, sir ?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two. "No thank you." the gentleman replied. "That will be all." As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. "Anything for your wife ?" he asked. "Yeah ! That's a good idea." the fellow said. "Please bring up a postcard." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 12, 2025 Posted September 12, 2025 Joke: How the diet going? "How the diet going?" "Not good, I had eggs for breakfast." "Scrambled?" "No, chocolate." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 12, 2025 Posted September 12, 2025 Joke: Cargo Space Dad is down at the auto dealership, looking at potential choices. “Cargo space?” he asks. The salesman, slightly confused, finally replies, “Car no do that... car go road.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 12, 2025 Posted September 12, 2025 Joke: What happened? A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, magnificent house, big car, the love of beautiful woman, then, POW! It was all gone!" "What happened?," asked the friend. "My wife found out..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 12, 2025 Posted September 12, 2025 Joke: The waiter... A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat. "Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?" "What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?" yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 13, 2025 Posted September 13, 2025 Joke: Birthday cake for wife On wife's birthday, man ordered a cake on phone. Salesman: What message to put on the cake? Man: Write “Getting older but U R getting better.” Salesman: Any other message? Man: Well.. put “U R getting older” at the top and “but U R getting better” at the bottom. When the cake was opened all guests died laughing at the message. It read: “You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 13, 2025 Posted September 13, 2025 Joke: Two men were talking... Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 13, 2025 Posted September 13, 2025 Joke: Heaven and Hell A young woman came home and told her mom that her steady boyfriend had proposed, but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell. "Marry him anyway, honey. Between the two of us, we'll show him just how very wrong he is." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 13, 2025 Posted September 13, 2025 Joke: Looking Better What is the difference between a salon and a saloon? A salon is where you go to make yourself look better. A saloon is where you go to make everyone else look better. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 14, 2025 Posted September 14, 2025 Joke: Act Your Age When the new activities director for the recreation centre walked in, all us retirees quickly took notice. She was 20-something and gorgeous. My buddy whispered, “She makes me wish I was 30 years older.” “Don’t you mean 30 years younger?” I asked. “No. If I were 30 years younger, I’d still never have a chance with a woman like that. If I were 30 years older, it wouldn’t bother me so much.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 14, 2025 Posted September 14, 2025 Joke: Three older ladies... Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I was taking it out or putting it away." The second lady said, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs, and I can't remember whether I was on my up, or on my way down." The third lady chimed in, "Well, I'm glad I don't have those problems. Knock on wood." With that, she rapped her knuckles on the table, then said, "That must be the door. I'll get it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 14, 2025 Posted September 14, 2025 Joke: How Many Wives? Two little boys were at a wedding when one leaned over to the other and asked, "How many wives can a man have?" His friend answered, "Sixteen... four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 14, 2025 Posted September 14, 2025 Joke: Navigation Gone Wild I turned on the navigation device in the car and it began to flirt with me! Just then I realized I'd hit the wrong button and was listing to an audio book romance novel belonging to my wife. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 15, 2025 Posted September 15, 2025 Joke: Crash and Burn Two men got out of their cars after they collided at an intersection. One took a flask from his pocket and said to the other, "Here, maybe you'd like a nip to calm your nerves." "Thanks," he said, and took a long pull from the container. "Here, you have one, too," he added, handing back the whiskey. "Well, I'd rather not," said the first. "At least not until after the police have been here." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 15, 2025 Posted September 15, 2025 Joke: Yesterday I went to the doctor... Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot. My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said just think in colours. Fill your plate with bright colours: greens, yellows, reds, etc. I went right home and ate an entire bowl of M&M's and sure enough, I felt better immediately. I never knew eating right could be so easy. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 15, 2025 Posted September 15, 2025 Joke: Cough Syrup The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 15, 2025 Posted September 15, 2025 Joke: Send me your ... The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she’d send her husband a text while she was out having coffee with a friend. She texted: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you. The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back: I’m on the toilet. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 16, 2025 Posted September 16, 2025 Joke: What would you like to hear? 3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to an orientation in Heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, 'LOOK! HE'S MOVING!!'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 16, 2025 Posted September 16, 2025 Joke: A close shave A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem" says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 16, 2025 Posted September 16, 2025 Joke: A 97-year old man goes into hi... A 97-year old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?" "You're darned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 16, 2025 Posted September 16, 2025 Joke: Discharge A young lady walks into a doctor’s clinic. "Doctor I'm suffering from a terrible discharge." The doctor lays her down, lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and asks her, "How does that feel?" The young lady replies, "Oooh doctor, that feels lovely... but the discharge is from my ear!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 27, 2025 Posted September 27, 2025 Joke: Windows frozen, won't open. Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 27, 2025 Posted September 27, 2025 Joke: When I go to casinos, the most... When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER." I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 27, 2025 Posted September 27, 2025 Joke: How Old Are You? A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 27, 2025 Posted September 27, 2025 Joke: The Lost $100 Bill Wife: Why are you late? Husband: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Wife: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Husband: No, I was standing on it. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 28, 2025 Posted September 28, 2025 Joke: A man was bragging about his sister... A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the Army. "But wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too, won't she?" "Sure," replied the man. "Well? Won't they find out?" "And who's gonna tell?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 28, 2025 Posted September 28, 2025 Joke: I'm In A Hurry Customer: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long? Waiter: No sir, round. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 28, 2025 Posted September 28, 2025 Joke: I'm In A Hurry Customer: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long? Waiter: No sir, round. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 28, 2025 Posted September 28, 2025 Joke: The three old men were sitting... The three old men were sitting around complaining about how much their hands shook. The first geezer said, "My hands shake so bad that when I shaved this morning, I cut my face!" The second old fogy one-upped him. "My hands shake so bad that when I trimmed my garden yesterday, I sliced all my flowers!" The third old man laughed and said, "That's nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times." shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 28, 2025 Posted September 28, 2025 Joke: Check-Up So I went to the doctor last week for a check-up, and the doctor was like "you have GOT to stop masturbating!" and I was like "oh no Doc! Why?!?" And he said "because I'm trying to examine you!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 29, 2025 Posted September 29, 2025 Joke: Generation gap? During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!" With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind. "Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me." "Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I'll go with you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 29, 2025 Posted September 29, 2025 Joke: Daddy’s Hair Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother. “He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked, “So why do you have so much hair?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 29, 2025 Posted September 29, 2025 Joke: Check-Up So I went to the doctor last week for a check-up, and the doctor was like "you have GOT to stop masturbating!" and I was like "oh no Doc! Why?!?" And he said "because I'm trying to examine you!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 30, 2025 Posted September 30, 2025 Joke: Outrun ... Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 30, 2025 Posted September 30, 2025 Joke: My Dad Scribbles Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And, it takes eight people to collect all the money!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 30, 2025 Posted September 30, 2025 Joke: My memory An agitated patient was stomping around the psychiatrist's office, running his hands through his hair, almost in tears. "Doctor, my memory's gone. Gone! I can't remember my wife's name. Can't remember my children's names. Can't remember what kind of car I drive. Can't remember where I work. It was all I could do to find my way here." "Calm down. How long have you been like this?" "Like what?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 30, 2025 Posted September 30, 2025 Joke: After 3 years, the wife starts After 3 years, the wife starts to think that their child looks different, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents. Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you. Husband: What’s up? Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our child. Husband: Well don’t you remember? When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had a wet diaper and you said, “Honey, go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted October 2, 2025 Posted October 2, 2025 Joke: Working late It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way. "And just where have you been until this hour?" demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home. "Down at the office," he replied, "working like a dog." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted October 2, 2025 Posted October 2, 2025 Joke: Cruise Control My family has a tradition of naming the cruise control on our cars. We were used to hearing my father proclaim, “Take it, Max,” as he flipped on the cruise control during long trips in our station wagon. Recently, I was travelling with my parents in their new car when we hit a wide-open expanse of highway. My dad leaned back and said, “I think I'll let Tom drive for a while.” “Tom who?” I asked. My mother translated for me: “Tom Cruise, of course.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted October 2, 2025 Posted October 2, 2025 Joke: Daddy’s Hair Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother. “He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked, “So why do you have so much hair?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted October 2, 2025 Posted October 2, 2025 Joke: Missing Thermometer A nurse walks into a bank to deposit her pay check. She reaches into her purse to pull out a pen to sign her check. To her dismay, she pulls out a rectal thermometer. In frustration, she throws her arms up and shouts, "Oh, great! Some asshole has my pen! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted October 3, 2025 Posted October 3, 2025 Joke: One day, a man came home and was... One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. "Tie me up," she purred, "And you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
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