pittsburgh Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 The incident surrounding Seng Han Thong and Cherian George's affirmative blog on "There is Enough Real Racism in Singapore" shows that there are racial biasedness for and against certain races. I believe the same holds for the gay community. Some shirk the issue off by saying it's personal preferences, but often these prejudices of making friends or finding a partner stem from social and peer pressure. Why does race matter when you are having sex or dating someone: Malay, Chinese, Indian or White? Let's go make some gay friends of a different race this holiday season! dreamer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mango_juice Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 sex just feels weird? malay have cut dick.. indians are so black.. Being friends are sure ok but not deeper.. MrWorldwide 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest passingby Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Frankly to me making friends of different races are always fine and i am sure not racist but when comes to sex i think it id defenatly a preference, though as for now i had sex with almost all races in singapore chinese, indians , malays, angmoh, blacks , pinoy, indo, vietnamese,.... to me race is not a creteria or nationality it is just the way they present and looks and i must be comfortable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gz69 Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Sex has to be disconnected from racism. Each one has his preference even if it is within his own race. Even for friendship, we should be free to choose. Racism is applied to statements made about another race and to propagate statements or actions that serve to inflame others just because of their ethnic or language background. It also refers to harasssment (verbal and physical). A 19-year American Chinese solder died in Afghanisation after he was bullied and harrassed by other American solders because he was an Asian. That is racism. This guy (picture in the papers today) is handsome and has much to offer and to enjoy in life. He chose to serve USA in uniform. It is sad that the US military killed him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post jeeves Posted December 23, 2011 Popular Post Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 sex just feels weird? malay have cut dick.. indians are so black.. Being friends are sure ok but not deeper.. Dude you must be colour blind because Indians are not BLACK. We are BROWN and gorgeous. We come in different shades of BROWN as well. So be jealous all you want. You won't like it if I start calling you YELLOW right? And if you have a prejudice against Malays & Indians, why be friends with them in the first place? Friends are meant to understand one another and put their differences aside. Go look up the definition of friendship. pittsburgh, Yeryk, Ng Ngai Lam and 3 others 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeannyShortcake Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 (edited) sex just feels weird? malay have cut dick.. indians are so black.. Being friends are sure ok but not deeper.. Lol dude.Please be tactful and sensible with your words.There are perfectly beautiful Malay and Indian men,even in our lil island.This guy (picture in the papers today) is handsome and has much to offer and to enjoy in life. He chose to serve USA in uniform. It is sad that the US military killed him. Like wut da hell right??How can such a good looker be bullied while protecting his country? Edited December 23, 2011 by SeannyShortcake Yeryk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DoingMoartheCBmouth Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Lol dude.Please be tactful and sensible with your words.What position are you in to give that kind of advice when you yourself are a CB mouth? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeannyShortcake Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 A position not to argue with guai shu shu that nerber register with forum hee hee.Anyway this isn't the way to show your racist views.Socially unaccepted to the max. DrKartist and jeeves 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takuya29 Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Dude you must be colour blind because Indians are not BLACK. We are BROWN and gorgeous. We come in different shades of BROWN as well. So be jealous all you want. You won't like it if I start calling you YELLOW right? And if you have a prejudice against Malays & Indians, why be friends with them in the first place? Friends are meant to understand one another and put their differences aside. Go look up the definition of friendship. Well said. DrKartist 1 Quote Live life to the fullest as if each day was the last. Â Nobody is born a warrior in exactly the same way that nobody is born an average man. We make ourselves into one or the other. Follow me on instagram:Â https://www.instagram.com/thelonelygeek/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeeves Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Well said. Thanks! Just proving my point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mr Yellow Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 "Dude you must be colour blind because Indians are not BLACK. We are BROWN and gorgeous. We come in different shades of BROWN as well. So be jealous all you want. You won't like it if I start calling you YELLOW right? And if you have a prejudice against Malays & Indians, why be friends with them in the first place? Friends are meant to understand one another and put their differences aside. Go look up the definition of friendship."I am Chinese, and I have no concerns if people start calling me yellow. What is wrong with black anyway? I think it's a beautiful colour. Sometimes I feel it is our own inferiority complex that makes racism a scapegoat to justify our anger and resentment when we think we are being rejected by others because of who we are. There are times when I have seen minorities (Indians and Malays) who accuse others of being racist, when they are probably rejected based on their physique/looks (which brings up another debate of the right and wrong of this).When it comes to sex, the other party has to be turned on by what he is into. If he isn't into a particular race, age or physical shape, is there any way we can or should change that preference? The ideal situation is everyone is into everyone else, but that is never going to happen. Diversity is what makes life interesting and it is up to us to adapt and also accept the fact that we can never be everyone's cup of tea or coffee. What we can do is to try make ourself attractive to more people, e.g. if we know the type we like goes for good body, we need to train up ourselves, but we should also know our limits and respect ourselves enough not to go overboard, e.g. Michael Jackson with his cosmetic surgery to look whiter and more angular in features, when he looked 1000 times better the way he was originally. When we love and respect ourselves, we do not care what others think of us. Just think of it as their loss in not being able to appreciate you (sexually) This argument is pretty clear cut when it comes to sex, but when it comes to friendship such things should not be an issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsd Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 I not only racist, but I also detest having sex with thin, skinny, young, and muscle-clad dudes too.When it comes to fulfilling sex urges, sorry, only certain types can do.If you are 80 year old, big belly and big backside Chinese Lao ah pek, wearing white colour see-through singlet and month-old unwashed boxer underwear, you will get a hard-on salute from me.But, Nathan does look quite nice from behind....This squarish shaped head is a turn on too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeannyShortcake Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Yes I believe TS wanted some inter-racial fun going on.We're wired to like whoever we like until said preference changes.Seriously,who's racist about friends these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamcubmelb Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Ah this one again... comes up every 5 months... see this older threadhttp://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=27432&hl=&fromsearch=1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeeves Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 "Dude you must be colour blind because Indians are not BLACK. We are BROWN and gorgeous. We come in different shades of BROWN as well. So be jealous all you want. You won't like it if I start calling you YELLOW right? And if you have a prejudice against Malays & Indians, why be friends with them in the first place? Friends are meant to understand one another and put their differences aside. Go look up the definition of friendship." I am Chinese, and I have no concerns if people start calling me yellow. What is wrong with black anyway? I think it's a beautiful colour. Sometimes I feel it is our own inferiority complex that makes racism a scapegoat to justify our anger and resentment when we think we are being rejected by others because of who we are. There are times when I have seen minorities (Indians and Malays) who accuse others of being racist, when they are probably rejected based on their physique/looks (which brings up another debate of the right and wrong of this). When it comes to sex, the other party has to be turned on by what he is into. If he isn't into a particular race, age or physical shape, is there any way we can or should change that preference? The ideal situation is everyone is into everyone else, but that is never going to happen. Diversity is what makes life interesting and it is up to us to adapt and also accept the fact that we can never be everyone's cup of tea or coffee. What we can do is to try make ourself attractive to more people, e.g. if we know the type we like goes for good body, we need to train up ourselves, but we should also know our limits and respect ourselves enough not to go overboard, e.g. Michael Jackson with his cosmetic surgery to look whiter and more angular in features, when he looked 1000 times better the way he was originally. When we love and respect ourselves, we do not care what others think of us. Just think of it as their loss in not being able to appreciate you (sexually) This argument is pretty clear cut when it comes to sex, but when it comes to friendship such things should not be an issue. Great points you brought up dude! Everyone's entitled to have their own preferences, But we shouldn't judge someone based solely on their skin colour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gstc82 Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 (edited) Racism is everywhere in all countries. However, as in sexual partners, it's a preference. A classic example, rihanna went all nuclear at a Dutch magazine Jackie for calling her a nigger bitch, that article praised her fashion. But African Americans use the word nigger all the time, but when a non black use the N word, it becomes racist? Ain't that itself racist? So to be all politically correct, don't mention about race when u want to air your views? Edited December 23, 2011 by gstc82 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abang Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Racism or racist, you have a choice.Accept it or ignore it.I would like to stress that I am NOT at all racist.My colleagues (with the same seniority as me) are mainly Indians and Pinoys.Why should we bother to look at them based on nationality, race, language etc?This is just me.I dont think I can have a long-lasting relationship with an Indian/Malay!Cultural differences is one thing... religious beliefs is another major obstacle.It takes a lot of mutual understanding to resolve and accept someone from a different racial group.So far, unfortunately, I think my preference is still gay white men in their 40s and 50s.Anyone available? johnfromtheblock 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gstc82 Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 So does the thread "Singaporean men are known as Prawns" is that racist? I hope we don't reach a stage where we get all politically correct and label someone as racist, many view black men have biggest cocks and Japanese have smallest coxks, is that racist? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 "Dude you must be colour blind because Indians are not BLACK. We are BROWN and gorgeous. We come in different shades of BROWN as well. So be jealous all you want. You won't like it if I start calling you YELLOW right? And if you have a prejudice against Malays & Indians, why be friends with them in the first place? Friends are meant to understand one another and put their differences aside. Go look up the definition of friendship." I am Chinese, and I have no concerns if people start calling me yellow. What is wrong with black anyway? I think it's a beautiful colour. Sometimes I feel it is our own inferiority complex that makes racism a scapegoat to justify our anger and resentment when we think we are being rejected by others because of who we are. There are times when I have seen minorities (Indians and Malays) who accuse others of being racist, when they are probably rejected based on their physique/looks (which brings up another debate of the right and wrong of this). When it comes to sex, the other party has to be turned on by what he is into. If he isn't into a particular race, age or physical shape, is there any way we can or should change that preference? The ideal situation is everyone is into everyone else, but that is never going to happen. Diversity is what makes life interesting and it is up to us to adapt and also accept the fact that we can never be everyone's cup of tea or coffee. What we can do is to try make ourself attractive to more people, e.g. if we know the type we like goes for good body, we need to train up ourselves, but we should also know our limits and respect ourselves enough not to go overboard, e.g. Michael Jackson with his cosmetic surgery to look whiter and more angular in features, when he looked 1000 times better the way he was originally. When we love and respect ourselves, we do not care what others think of us. Just think of it as their loss in not being able to appreciate you (sexually) This argument is pretty clear cut when it comes to sex, but when it comes to friendship such things should not be an issue. This is more well said than well said.Stop using your race as your fail excuse because of your inferior complex issues.He rejected me, must be because I'm ..........I wasn't selected for the job, must be because I'm ..........The cashier didn't smile at me, must be because I'm .............It's not as related to your race as you thought it was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pittsburgh Posted December 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Racism or racist, you have a choice. Cultural differences is one thing... religious beliefs is another major obstacle. It takes a lot of mutual understanding to resolve and accept someone from a different racial group. So far, unfortunately, I think my preference is still gay white men in their 40s and 50s. So does the thread "Singaporean men are known as Prawns" is that racist? I hope we don't reach a stage where we get all politically correct and label someone as racist, many view black men have biggest cocks and Japanese have smallest coxks, is that racist? I would have to disagree with the above two contributors, who have relied on racial stereotypes as excuses not to befriend or have sex with people of a different race as themselves. Similar to homophobia, I believe racism is not a choice. Can you accept being denied love and friendship because you are gay? Likewise, can you accept being marginalized for love or sex because you are of a different race?If you developed a preference for big or small cocks, or dark or light skin color for that matter, you would have lost out on the opportunity to make friends or partners with some of the most charismatic, intellectual or interesting gay people we have here in Singapore. In contrary, I can assure you that cultural differences exist not only between races, but also within a single race, so why not give yourself a chance to experience the culture of others in multicultural Singapore. A possible new year resolution, no? DrKartist 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gstc82 Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Just a question. By your definition , if example a Chinese has a fetish for Japanese men and do not feel attracted to Chinese guys, does that make him a racist? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pittsburgh Posted December 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Just a question. By your definition , if example a Chinese has a fetish for Japanese men and do not feel attracted to Chinese guys, does that make him a racist? Thanks for the question. By my definition, he would be racist, having a preference for one race over another race, regardless of his own race. The ideal case to strive for is to judge/choose the person for his individual personality traits and not biological traits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyfren Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Rubbish lah.Just because someone from another race don't want to have sex with you, you call him racist.I don't mind handsome indians or malays, but ugly and gross looking ones, like the above, YUCK~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamer Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 (edited) Rubbish lah.Just because someone from another race don't want to have sex with you, you call him racist.I don't mind handsome indians or malays, but ugly and gross looking ones, like the above, YUCK~then that doesn't make you racist lah. lol.see, this is preference. Edited December 23, 2011 by dreamer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gstc82 Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 (edited) Edited December 23, 2011 by gstc82 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Thanks for the question. By my definition, he would be racist, having a preference for one race over another race, regardless of his own race. The ideal case to strive for is to judge/choose the person for his individual personality traits and not biological traits.LOL, are you like a Sister Theresa of sex? going for anyone with a dick and a heartbeat?Having a preference for one race over another race is racist?This is absurd.People are likely to be rejected over looks than race.If you're hot looking, from any country, any race, chances are someone wants to have sex with you.But if you look undesirable in the eyes of another, you're not getting what you want, simply that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Puzzled Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Regardless of your own race.- some gays like only their own kind, while some like others but not their own.- some gays like a certain race filtering out all others. (SPGeese)- some gays like people of a certain build (chubby, stocky, lanky, hunky)- some gays like guys with glasses, braces- some gays like guys with big dick, some prefer them small.- some gays like chicks with dick, some prefer the real deal.If this is not personal preference, what is?It just happens that you belong to a certain niche market with less demand, don't have to associate it with race.The world don't owe you a living, find your targeted audience and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 That's true, looks are definitely more important than which race u r from.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chinese uncle Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 I am Chinese and I prefer Northern Chinese or Japanese. I never have sex with Malay or Indian Men.But give me that Malay actor Aaron Aziz or Indian actor Shahid Kapoor or even that uncle Indian actor Rajnikanth who is older than me, I will willingly open up my legs and get x-culturally fertilised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 MANNERISM is more important than what race u r Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorcantona Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 guys i think most people jus have a preference for certain types of guys. just like how i prefer guys with more meat, but give me a hot looking thin guy or fit guy, will i be converted!most people just havent had that chance to meet someone of another race that they really like.i think the appropriate way to say it would be:"most chinese guys appeal to me as compared to malay/indian/whatever type or race guy"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 I refused to have sex or have anything to do with him, hence I'm racist.TS, is that what you're implying? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abang Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Of course, every gay man is entitled to his choice and selection - be it age, beauty, body size and race.It is NOT racist but personal preference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Marad44 Posted December 24, 2011 Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 While driving home from work, I heard this on FM-BBC:Our subconscious makes complex decisions without our knowing. When faced with having to make a pick out of options, we unconsciously apply our own bias in eliminating the options one by one, over a period of time, until there is only one left, to become our decision.Simply, the modus operandi is this: Say, one is faced with having to pick his boyfriend from five guys he has known. He runs through their details and does nothing more. Over the next few days or weeks, his subconscious applies his biases and eliminates one or two. The next time he reviews, he realizes there are only three on his list.Again, he reviews their details and lays them to rest, for his subconscious to act on them. So on and so forth, until his choice is picked unconsciously.It's our biases that play the big role and without them we would be at wits' end to make our wishes. The British psychologists' finding was that we draw upon the power of our bias to make the judgement call - even in the type of guys that we want to be with. pittsburgh 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest david Posted December 24, 2011 Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 Someone fair-skinned who doesn't do sex with a dark-skinned man is considered a racist?So one who is dark-skinned, does with a fair-skinned man, what is he?Personally, I only hv sex with somone cute (my vision of cute) whatever race. Dat's my personal preference.I believe everyone has their own personal preferences when it comes to sex, nothing to do with racism.Will u eat durians when u dun like the smell?Ppl who call a whole nation of ppl ugly, r the real racists. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pittsburgh Posted December 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 I refused to have sex or have anything to do with him, hence I'm racist. TS, is that what you're implying? This is a relevant picture, as counter-argument to David's comment. Assuming you are a fairer skin person and you live in this village and, as the picture shows, everyone looks almost like one another, except you. But you must have sex with someone.So "I refused to have sex or have anything to do with him, hence I'm racist." is true. "Someone fair-skinned who doesn't do sex with a dark-skinned man is considered a racist." is also true. The vice versa, that is, "the dark-skinned man doesn't want to have sex with you based on the very fact that you are fair-skinned" is also true. Any form of selection (for AND against) based on skin color or ethnicity (Japanese, Korean, Han Chinese, Tibetan Chinese, North Indian, South Indian, Thai, Filipino, Malay etc.) is considered racism. This holiday season, go make friends or have sex with someone of a different race that you had previously disliked, and embrace the diversity we have here in Singapore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercutio Posted December 24, 2011 Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 (edited) Of course, every gay man is entitled to his choice and selection - be it age, beauty, body size and race.It is NOT racist but personal preference.I agree with Abang's distinction....There are cases where it is because of taste and there are cases where it is because of racism.This is how I distinguish the two ... if you prefer certain physical characteristics, then it's a matter of taste, and for taste there is no accounting. Some people like chubs, some people like twinks. Some people like darker skin, some people like fairer skin. One way to test is if you have friends of other races, but not lovers. I like a particular quote from Spartacus (the movie, not the guide), which underscores the point.Marcus Licinius Crassus: Do you eat oysters? Antoninus: When I have them, master. Marcus Licinius Crassus: Do you eat snails? Antoninus: No, master. Marcus Licinius Crassus: Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral and the eating of snails to be immoral? Antoninus: No, master. Marcus Licinius Crassus: Of course not. It is all a matter of taste, isn't it? Antoninus: Yes, master. Marcus Licinius Crassus: And taste is not the same as appetite, and therefore not a question of morals.HOWEVER, if one rejects lovers of another race for non-physical reasons, i.e. because you think they are dirty or stupid or conniving, and again one test is "would you have friends of that race"... then it's because of racism.Not to drag the past into the light, but there was an incident where a certain member got slammed because he mentioned that he had sex in a cemetery. I was ... very offended, because those criticizing him were using their own (Chinese) standards of respect for ancestors and all that. Well, be that as it may, the Chinese practice is definitely not universal across cultures across the world and across time. In some cultures, the dead are the dead ... the corpse is no longer anything but a vacated shell. At the more extreme, cannibalism of one's dead ancestors was a mark of respect. Edited December 24, 2011 by Mercutio Quote Mercurio sacris fertur Boebeidos Undis virgineum Brimo composuisse latus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercutio Posted December 24, 2011 Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 Thanks for the question. By my definition, he would be racist, having a preference for one race over another race, regardless of his own race. The ideal case to strive for is to judge/choose the person for his individual personality traits and not biological traits. I partially agree with that but as I've mentioned, at the level of friends.Personality is one thing, but sex is ultimately physical.For example, I've gone past my SPG phase and white guys unfortunately don't really turn me on much anymore. But in terms of personality and outlook, my thinking is definitely more western. And yes, I have white friends. I just don't sleep with them. Quote Mercurio sacris fertur Boebeidos Undis virgineum Brimo composuisse latus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamcubmelb Posted December 24, 2011 Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 It's about respect and many people don't understand that.Using ONE picture to represent a few million people is the perfect example of stereotyping - the corner stone of racism.I can find plenty of pictures of Chinese men I am not attracted to, but certainly can find just as many hot Chinese men. I don't expect to convert people who are negative on here but ah well... not my loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest david Posted December 24, 2011 Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 Pittsburgh: if u r brought up in dat environment, yes u'll b ostrascised for being different. Humans fear ppl who r different.But wat has dis pic got to do with my point?We r not living in dat environment, we r living in a cosmo city. We r exposed to many types of races, colors, cultures, and diff forms of beauty. We hv formed our own set of preferences. There's no need to PRETEND it's festive time n try different skin-colors, jus for the heck of it!!Y is there a need to impose ur set of mentality on others? Wats ur agenda?I've said before, I only do sex with ppl I find CUTE -my own rules of wats cute. Den will I get accused of being inconsiderate to those guys not cute?If u r not employed becos of ur skin col, dats racism!! If the sign says 'no dogs n chinese allowed', dats racism!!Not when u dun fxxk someone becos he's not ur type!!!Happy Holidays.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bottomline Posted December 24, 2011 Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 Aiya whichever forum you go to is the same story for this kind of topicsThe other races telling the race that "we are talking about" that they are overreacting and that one race trying hard to make the others races understand what he/she feelsBottomline Singapore has been a multiracial country since the arrival of Stamford Raffles. So lets embrace it and reap its benefits instead of complaining so much!! lol!!From my experience Aj guys are more open to the other cultures then anyone else.I also notice that the ppl who are making the hashes comments here in this topic are guest with no face or account so who knows they might be anti gay ppl trying to break us apart!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexiespider Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 For some gay people, we feel that as a gay person, we feel lesser of ourselves – because we cannot accept ourselves or yet to fully accept ourselves. And when that happens, we will do things which will compensate for that.As I’ve discussed before, one way we do it is to associate ourselves with certain people who we think have certain ‘status’ – or so we think – within the gay community, and so by associating ourselves with them, we feel that our ‘status’ is uplifted, and this makes us feel more accepted of ourselves – we use external factors to resolve the inner lower acceptance levels that we have towards ourselves.For some Chinese guys, they would not want to associate themselves with other Malay or Indian guys because they feel that, if Malays or Indians are already discriminated in society, by associating with them, this makes my ‘status’ lesser. By all means, this does not apply to all Chinese people. And this does also happen the other way around.*****But what’s truly happening here? For some gay people, they might not be able to come to terms with themselves and this is a strong self-stigma that they perpetuate on themselves. Any other perceived discrimination that they feel society might enact on them will much further accentuate this self-stigma that they already has. And thus, they feel that, by association, associating with people who they feel face discrimination, means also bringing on this discrimination that others face onto themselves, which means deepening the lack of acceptance for themselves. In effect, they are trying to reduce their lower acceptance levels for themselves by associating with people of higher ‘status’ and by disassociating from others who are perceived as facing other forms of stigma, this will prevent them from facing further stresses.Unfortunately, our fellow Malay and Indian gay people have to face this added stigma – in part due to the coping mechanisms of others that they have subconsciously devised to deal with the low self acceptance levels.Sometimes, I find this disappointing because if we are in a position where we know how it feels to be discriminated, all the more we should know not to discriminate against others. But this isn’t the case for some – if we are yet to be able to come to terms with ourselves, we will seek out other sources of affirmation for ourselves (by seeking out people ‘of status’) and reduce our association with others whom are perceived as discriminated.*****If this is something that’s happening to you, what can you do? If you understand that some people might disassociate themselves from you because of their discomfort with themselves, you know that it’s not something that they are doing because of you. It’s something that they need to overcome. So don’t let it affect you. Understand that they need their time to find out more about themselves and come to terms with themselves. It’s not that they cannot accept who you are. It’s because they cannot accept who they are. So you have to respect that they are in their journey towards finding out more about themselves and you need to give them that time and space to grow.But if we are unhappy still, then it says more about us. If we are unhappy that someone cannot accept us, then we need to understand and think about this – is there something we cannot accept about ourselves? Because if we believe in ourselves, we would know that if others cannot accept us, we would understand and know our worth to believe and have faith in when we are, and know not to allow the judgment of others to affect us.What of those who judge – or actually, those of us who are unable to accept ourselves? Then, we need to understand how we use the distinction that we make among people, to define who we are, and how we use these external influences to cater for an inner need that we have. We need to understand this because it has implications on how we react towards others, and how we might cause hurt towards them by our sometimes subconscious thoughts and actions. Then, we need to learn to look within ourselves to understand why we are unable to accept ourselves and work around our internal feelings, so as to truly understand and gain acceptance towards ourselves.http://myrighttolove.com/2012/11/06/racism-within-the-singapore-gay-community/ Flash and Sticky&Sweet 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasleyLim Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 Or it could be that they *really* like -insert race-? Quote   Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexiespider Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 Or it could be that they *really* like -insert race-?Yes, it could be - my take if it's a preference, then by all means. But if we choose not to be with a certain race because of our discomfort of ourselves, then we need to look within to understand why. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilder Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 To be frank, I don't see this often when it comes to 'gay' friendships. I have seen Indians and Malay gays friends with Chinese gays. Indeed, there are who don't like Malays and Indians, hence, they don't like to asociate themselves with.Reality is, this usually happens when it comes to sex or cam-fun. Sorry if I'm direct here, most Chinese don't want to have sex with Malay or Indians. They felt it's dirty to sleep with them. All I can say is, for these group of people, you have missed out all the fun. Of course you can still choose whom you want to sleep or friends with. If it's about due to race, well, there are good-looking Indians and Malays. Same goes for Filipinos or Pinoys. Irony is, many can drool over at Korean and Japanese hunks. Maybe oriental prefer oriental. It's a fact for most. Racism still exist even among the well-educated group of young boys who "preached on against racism." Not all, but some. Quote Yo jeez...jeez mama... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zwei Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 All up to preference and perspective... Quote Fattie bom bom walk down the street Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarboy Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 And this comes back again to the role nature and nurture plays in a person's character, mindset and beliefs.The same applies not only to the gay but to everyone imo.Probably why interracial marriages aren't the norm in society.E.g. Wouldn't it be weird if all the chinese gals married malay or indian guys?Sure some chinese gals date/marry guys of other races, but if the majority were to do this there would be a riot "Why Do Some People Not Like Some 'races' "?Probably the same bunch of reasons why most guys like gals, while some guys like guys, or have no preference.It probably has less to do with racism and more to do with tastes. Like why I dislike durians Quote There's always another secret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheVisitors Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 (edited) For some gay people, we feel that as a gay person, we feel lesser of ourselves – because we cannot accept ourselves or yet to fully accept ourselves. And when that happens, we will do things which will compensate for that.As I’ve discussed before, one way we do it is to associate ourselves with certain people who we think have certain ‘status’ – or so we think – within the gay community, and so by associating ourselves with them, we feel that our ‘status’ is uplifted, and this makes us feel more accepted of ourselves – we use external factors to resolve the inner lower acceptance levels that we have towards ourselves.For some Chinese guys, they would not want to associate themselves with other Malay or Indian guys because they feel that, if Malays or Indians are already discriminated in society, by associating with them, this makes my ‘status’ lesser. By all means, this does not apply to all Chinese people. And this does also happen the other way around.*****But what’s truly happening here? For some gay people, they might not be able to come to terms with themselves and this is a strong self-stigma that they perpetuate on themselves. Any other perceived discrimination that they feel society might enact on them will much further accentuate this self-stigma that they already has. And thus, they feel that, by association, associating with people who they feel face discrimination, means also bringing on this discrimination that others face onto themselves, which means deepening the lack of acceptance for themselves. In effect, they are trying to reduce their lower acceptance levels for themselves by associating with people of higher ‘status’ and by disassociating from others who are perceived as facing other forms of stigma, this will prevent them from facing further stresses.Unfortunately, our fellow Malay and Indian gay people have to face this added stigma – in part due to the coping mechanisms of others that they have subconsciously devised to deal with the low self acceptance levels.Sometimes, I find this disappointing because if we are in a position where we know how it feels to be discriminated, all the more we should know not to discriminate against others. But this isn’t the case for some – if we are yet to be able to come to terms with ourselves, we will seek out other sources of affirmation for ourselves (by seeking out people ‘of status’) and reduce our association with others whom are perceived as discriminated.*****If this is something that’s happening to you, what can you do? If you understand that some people might disassociate themselves from you because of their discomfort with themselves, you know that it’s not something that they are doing because of you. It’s something that they need to overcome. So don’t let it affect you. Understand that they need their time to find out more about themselves and come to terms with themselves. It’s not that they cannot accept who you are. It’s because they cannot accept who they are. So you have to respect that they are in their journey towards finding out more about themselves and you need to give them that time and space to grow.But if we are unhappy still, then it says more about us. If we are unhappy that someone cannot accept us, then we need to understand and think about this – is there something we cannot accept about ourselves? Because if we believe in ourselves, we would know that if others cannot accept us, we would understand and know our worth to believe and have faith in when we are, and know not to allow the judgment of others to affect us.What of those who judge – or actually, those of us who are unable to accept ourselves? Then, we need to understand how we use the distinction that we make among people, to define who we are, and how we use these external influences to cater for an inner need that we have. We need to understand this because it has implications on how we react towards others, and how we might cause hurt towards them by our sometimes subconscious thoughts and actions. Then, we need to learn to look within ourselves to understand why we are unable to accept ourselves and work around our internal feelings, so as to truly understand and gain acceptance towards ourselves.http://myrighttolove...-gay-community/Blah Blah Blah...You know dude, reading all your post is like injecting rat poison into any human brain. Have anyone ever told you that before?Ok , to walk the talk, why don't you go and associate yourself with all the lesser underdogs which you think the majority has discrinimated, and then come and tell us what a great Great Long Winded Mother of All Theresa you really are.That includes you having all kinds of kinkysex with them.....If you can't, go F another spider, which is as sexy as YOU !!!Cheers !!! Edited November 7, 2012 by TheVisitors MeowPrince and trxsuspension 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted November 8, 2012 Report Share Posted November 8, 2012 Can't agree more! Everytime start a new post somemore is like wanting attention.Get a (real) life please!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
typoshark Posted November 8, 2012 Report Share Posted November 8, 2012 There, we are usually discriminated against as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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