Gunther Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 Spend more time to give romance or surprise, no big spending I mean, but something within your ability. After that, role or sex will come naturally mate69 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjboy Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 39 minutes ago, Pause said: U r jumping into conclusion but nvm let's hear from the other members thank u =) Haha.... sorry, my bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 5 hours ago, Pause said: Does this happen to any of you? You really love the guy but lost the sexual attraction or due to different role. It becomes a bit awkward to have sex now. Both still young though. Diff roles mean u r top but force to be btm or vv? Quote 鍾意就好，理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pause Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 5 minutes ago, fab said: Diff roles mean u r top but force to be btm or vv? Not forced but like I'm more incline to btm for him than topping him yet it's painful so I don enjoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Time needed Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 5 hours ago, Pause said: Does this happen to any of you? You really love the guy but lost the sexual attraction or due to different role. It becomes a bit awkward to have sex now. Both still young though. Look like relationship is still very new. You need to build on the acquired taste that you have chosen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FattChoy Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 >Attached but poor sex life, how to improve? Find a new man. After that, whatever you decide to do with the current one is irrelevant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest love n sex Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 4 hours ago, kjboy said: Too much porn? Just admit u get bored of him and dont love him anymore. Damn, you still don't know the difference of love and sex.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjboy Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 1 minute ago, Guest love n sex said: Damn, you still don't know the difference of love and sex.... So you are telling me both tops/btm can be couples? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest love n sex Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 in fact, this occurrence is nothing singly to gay couples. It is the same in the straight world. It depends all if you see your partner as a life partner with whom you intend to share the "rest of your life" . If only sex was the thing running your relationship then actually you never build any real relationship with him. and now comes the disaster... For the start it might spice up having a threesome, but this depends on the willingness of your partner. But it might not work out, because we will always come back to the fact how strong your mutual bonding was. As it has been said very often, instead of going on and resulting in more frustration or even fights (jealousy), sit down and talk with him. Ask him what he wants ask him how he sees your future. In many instances, I met friends who came crying over because at that point they had to realise that the partner had already moved on and that there was already a different partner with him. Before this happens to you: Ask him for a romantic dinner and just start talking and see where it leads to. There are times where you just have to cut the ties, but a real relationship would be able to overcome this. (if you don;'t believe it: ask your parents if they still have sex...) But you must build up some real bonding with interests or at least the interest to follow each other's (eventually even conflicting) interests. That is what a relationship is about, the sex is mostly secondary after some time. Yes, sure there are couples who enjoy mutual sex until they die. but from my personal experience this is quite rare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest love n sex Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 7 minutes ago, kjboy said: So you are telling me both tops/btm can be couples? You used the words " Just admit that you don't love him anymore" .... From this I concluded that you don't know the difference between love and sex... I m very sure there are couples where both have the same role. Some gay research says, that the older a guy gets the more will turn from tops to bottoms or tops enjoy more of being a bottom. Hence, in a relationship it might happen that both are tops. The world is not as simple as black and white.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjboy Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 20 minutes ago, Guest love n sex said: You used the words " Just admit that you don't love him anymore" .... From this I concluded that you don't know the difference between love and sex... I m very sure there are couples where both have the same role. Some gay research says, that the older a guy gets the more will turn from tops to bottoms or tops enjoy more of being a bottom. Hence, in a relationship it might happen that both are tops. The world is not as simple as black and white.... I'm not sure which researches you are referring to. How about this? Top, Bottom, and Versatile Anal Sex Roles in Same-Sex Male Relationships: Implications for Relationship and Sexual Satisfaction. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29858726 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjboy Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 4 hours ago, Pause said: Not forced but like I'm more incline to btm for him than topping him yet it's painful so I don enjoy You are top but you wanna be btm for him? Can he try to be btm for u and see how it goes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest love n sex Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 3 minutes ago, kjboy said: You are top but you wanna be btm for him? Can he try to be btm for u and see how it goes? Maybe you PM to him, later the threadstarter has to admit that he has a fetish for pink underwear.... I mean you are asking a lot of very personal questions. Not sure if everyone would want to disclose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjboy Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 1 minute ago, Guest love n sex said: Maybe you PM to him, later the threadstarter has to admit that he has a fetish for pink underwear.... I mean you are asking a lot of very personal questions. Not sure if everyone would want to disclose. Never mind. I'm not the expert in this area. I believe he has answer but dont want to accept it due to some reasons. Bye bye... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pause Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 5 hours ago, kjboy said: Never mind. I'm not the expert in this area. I believe he has answer but dont want to accept it due to some reasons. Bye bye... I would only say we think what people are based on who we are usually so I respect all different kind of views and it's actually rather interesting. A couple of ppl do pm me n say they share same situation and find fun outside or they are jus not that horny also so also no need it where the y value the emotional and mental connection. I think that's my priority too but just sometimes hope to make that part better since we know we r going a long way lol. If wanna break up already break up right it's not as easy as what some think, no sex, break. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted December 30, 2018 Report Share Posted December 30, 2018 18 hours ago, kjboy said: Too much porn? Just admit u get bored of him and dont love him anymore. Love between partners can be much more than just sex, so being bored of mutual sex does not necessarily kill love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pause Posted December 30, 2018 Report Share Posted December 30, 2018 Do you guys usually just leave it just try to spice it up or get the sexual life back? Sometimes, the more deliberates one gets the more it seems to pressurise the rs n backfire? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest love n sex Posted December 30, 2018 Report Share Posted December 30, 2018 1 hour ago, Pause said: Do you guys usually just leave it just try to spice it up or get the sexual life back? Sometimes, the more deliberates one gets the more it seems to pressurise the rs n backfire? There is probably no golden rule. what works in one relationship might not work in another. Do us a favour and talk to your bf. Maybe he's waiting to talk... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjboy Posted December 30, 2018 Report Share Posted December 30, 2018 14 hours ago, Pause said: I would only say we think what people are based on who we are usually so I respect all different kind of views and it's actually rather interesting. A couple of ppl do pm me n say they share same situation and find fun outside or they are jus not that horny also so also no need it where the y value the emotional and mental connection. I think that's my priority too but just sometimes hope to make that part better since we know we r going a long way lol. If wanna break up already break up right it's not as easy as what some think, no sex, break. Haha... It means I'm correct. You have your answer already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Exynos Posted December 30, 2018 Popular Post Report Share Posted December 30, 2018 A relationship is mainly about balance. You need to balance the sex and everything else about a relationship. You need to ask yourself and ask him, how important is sex and what is its impact to how a relationship works? There is no right or wrong, always remember that it is YOUR relationship and YOU get to decide how it should run. If a lack of sex is something both of you can compromise on, then I don't see the need to waste an otherwise good match in all other aspects... it feels reductive, you know. And if sex is extremely important uncompromisable then it already takes precedence over everything else about the relationship, so... what's the point in hanging around? Only you have the answer. Steve5380, inamoto, Pause and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auri Posted December 30, 2018 Report Share Posted December 30, 2018 Let me tell you it is just about impossible to get the spice, the heat back in a relationship. With the passage of time and increasing familiarity, the chemicals in your brain change... You will never get the intense high of those first few months. Pause and kjboy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enthuboy_93 Posted December 31, 2018 Report Share Posted December 31, 2018 On 12/30/2018 at 12:54 AM, Pause said: I would only say we think what people are based on who we are usually so I respect all different kind of views and it's actually rather interesting. A couple of ppl do pm me n say they share same situation and find fun outside or they are jus not that horny also so also no need it where the y value the emotional and mental connection. I think that's my priority too but just sometimes hope to make that part better since we know we r going a long way lol. If wanna break up already break up right it's not as easy as what some think, no sex, break. Yes indeed, these are stuff only people in a relationship (and who want to make it work) will understand It isn't just about no sex, break up and find another More importantly to stay together and see how to work things out and compromise for each other. Pause 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Knock knock Posted January 1, 2019 Report Share Posted January 1, 2019 Grindr and Jackd exist for this reason. There are so many cocks out there for you to enjoy, why only restrict yourself to just one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ironrod Posted January 1, 2019 Report Share Posted January 1, 2019 What's the diff between 2 best friends and couple? Isn't sex the difference? That's was the basis of my r/s, we had fun sex for the next 15 years and that's what prevented me from straying. Even when a hotter guy comes along, I never need to stray because I was satisfied. I suggest u re-boot else you may regret after wasting 7-8 years of your life with a person in a sexless r/s. How u going to last 10-20 years? A r/s should be both connection and sex unless you are above 40s and companionship is more important. Else I will never compromise in terms of sex. Red_martian 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zyjd Posted January 2, 2019 Report Share Posted January 2, 2019 18 hours ago, Ironrod said: Even when a hotter guy comes along, I never need to stray because I was satisfied. I think the sexual attraction to his partner/each other plays a big role also. That was one of the points TS raised in the beginning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ironrod Posted January 2, 2019 Report Share Posted January 2, 2019 14 hours ago, zyjd said: I think the sexual attraction to his partner/each other plays a big role also. That was one of the points TS raised in the beginning. Which technically means not compatible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingbitch Posted January 2, 2019 Report Share Posted January 2, 2019 On 1/1/2019 at 2:37 PM, Ironrod said: What's the diff between 2 best friends and couple? Isn't sex the difference? That's was the basis of my r/s, we had fun sex for the next 15 years and that's what prevented me from straying. Even when a hotter guy comes along, I never need to stray because I was satisfied. I suggest u re-boot else you may regret after wasting 7-8 years of your life with a person in a sexless r/s. How u going to last 10-20 years? A r/s should be both connection and sex unless you are above 40s and companionship is more important. Else I will never compromise in terms of sex. Not denying sex is very important, but there is a lot more. Like a shared goal to live and age together. I'm not going to dream of such things with my platonic best friends. auri 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wafflecorn Posted January 3, 2019 Report Share Posted January 3, 2019 Maybe he has low SD. Like me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest game over Posted January 3, 2019 Report Share Posted January 3, 2019 On 1/1/2019 at 2:37 PM, Ironrod said: What's the diff between 2 best friends and couple? Isn't sex the difference? That's was the basis of my r/s, we had fun sex for the next 15 years and that's what prevented me from straying. Even when a hotter guy comes along, I never need to stray because I was satisfied. I suggest u re-boot else you may regret after wasting 7-8 years of your life with a person in a sexless r/s. How u going to last 10-20 years? A r/s should be both connection and sex unless you are above 40s and companionship is more important. Else I will never compromise in terms of sex. Oh yeah, and if you are supposed to go on an overseas trip, your bf will fuck you through the whole night to empty your balls n lust and you end up being tired the complete trip... And calls you every 30s to make sure that you are alone at the hotel room. Oh shit, my bf just booked a ticket to my location... hey, will continue writing later, need to clean up here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pause Posted January 3, 2019 Report Share Posted January 3, 2019 21 hours ago, kingbitch said: Not denying sex is very important, but there is a lot more. Like a shared goal to live and age together. I'm not going to dream of such things with my platonic best friends. Yea somehow w the bf I think there is more than a physical commitment if it's love.? Like it could be a commitment to think and care for which you can't possibly do the same for so many friends or even that one best friend you know ultimately u r gonna live a separate life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pause Posted January 3, 2019 Report Share Posted January 3, 2019 13 hours ago, Wafflecorn said: Maybe he has low SD. Like me. Like I heard there are some, contrary to social believe of gays, really don't crave for sex and they r pretty non chalent about it. Not common but there are q a few I guess! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garyl Posted January 3, 2019 Report Share Posted January 3, 2019 (edited) For me, Sex with partner fluctuate from once weekly in early years, till 1 every few mths in the recent years. Yes, every few mths... haha From last year, scheduling it to once weekly or mthly. Recent trip is 3 times over 4 days. I cant watch over him all thr time now. We usually sleep separate till last hour of waking up .. then i will spoon him or his head resting on me hugging me. So, i think poor sex life is fine if there is intimacy and could be due to factors like office work, house work. But not ok if replacing it with fun outside if committed. Edited January 3, 2019 by Garyl Lemonjuice and Pause 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ploppel English Posted January 4, 2019 Report Share Posted January 4, 2019 8 hours ago, Pause said: Like I heard there are some, contrary to social believe of gays, really don't crave for sex and they r pretty non chalent about it. Not common but there are q a few I guess! sorry the word is "nonchalant" in one word and with "a" as it derives from the French language. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest straight couples Posted January 4, 2019 Report Share Posted January 4, 2019 2 hours ago, Garyl said: For me, Sex with partner fluctuate from once weekly in early years, till 1 every few mths in the recent years. Yes, every few mths... haha From last year, scheduling it to once weekly or mthly. Recent trip is 3 times over 4 days. I cant watch over him all thr time now. We usually sleep separate till last hour of waking up .. then i will spoon him or his head resting on me hugging me. So, i think poor sex life is fine if there is intimacy and could be due to factors like office work, house work. But not ok if replacing it with fun outside if committed. I would laud both partner is a relationship keeping together then counting the amount of sex they have. I m pretty sure that in most straight couples once, they are more than 15 years together, the sex will be close to zero. It has been said before, you must manage to built on that thing that keeps the relationship going, in younger years it might be sex but often after some years (3-5) when the feeling for sex is gone, the relationship might end because you realised there is nothing else in that guy that keeps you wanting to stay together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enthuboy_93 Posted January 4, 2019 Report Share Posted January 4, 2019 (edited) 10 hours ago, Pause said: Yea somehow w the bf I think there is more than a physical commitment if it's love.? Like it could be a commitment to think and care for which you can't possibly do the same for so many friends or even that one best friend you know ultimately u r gonna live a separate life? 10 hours ago, Pause said: Like I heard there are some, contrary to social believe of gays, really don't crave for sex and they r pretty non chalent about it. Not common but there are q a few I guess! Indeed, truly committed couples should look more long term and not just focus on sex Having too much sex also kinda hurts the rs imo Moderation is best. Edited January 4, 2019 by enthuboy_93 firefight 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Neh Neh Posted January 4, 2019 Report Share Posted January 4, 2019 Try sex toys to spice up the sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
horchew Posted January 4, 2019 Report Share Posted January 4, 2019 Get a fb to spice things up for both of you, or better still join orgies/swinging/multiple partners. Sex can be enjoyed literally without Love, just separate the two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Younger4Older Posted January 4, 2019 Report Share Posted January 4, 2019 I don’t give a fuck about open relationship , this is just bullshit for me . If my bf betray me and find another fuck buddy , I will cut off his penis and ask him fuck off . Relationship is not just about sex . If you can’t satisfy of sex , don’t get attached the guy sleep behind me sucking other guy cock is not acceptable for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted January 4, 2019 Report Share Posted January 4, 2019 3 hours ago, Younger4Older said: I don’t give a fuck about open relationship , this is just bullshit for me . If my bf betray me and find another fuck buddy , I will cut off his penis and ask him fuck off . Relationship is not just about sex . If you can’t satisfy of sex , don’t get attached the guy sleep behind me sucking other guy cock is not acceptable for me It is not bullshit, but smartness. In the MATURE DECENT UNCLE you are looking for, the DECENT should not mean that he is monogamous. If he is tempted by other bodies besides yours, let him have it. And he won't mind if you do the same. But fill him with love, understanding, companionship and he will never leave you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gystt Posted January 4, 2019 Report Share Posted January 4, 2019 agree. sex is sex. its nice, some need it way more than others. sometimes after sex with the same person for so long, you may want to try something else just for fun. doesnt mean you dont love your partner. breakup just cause he tried other meat? ok good luck sustaining a relationship. Think men in a hetro relationship dont stray? think your own dad didnt? think again. it just depends how much sex means to the person la. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gystt Posted January 4, 2019 Report Share Posted January 4, 2019 During the start of the relationship . sex and love may seem no different. after years, sex is sex. love is love. its not something sad or bad. but if one person really loves sex and the other doesnt need it, talk to your partner. see how u can both come to a middle ground. can always include a 3rd person as a "toy". but be upfront to the 3rd party too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest narrowminded Posted January 5, 2019 Report Share Posted January 5, 2019 18 hours ago, Younger4Older said: I don’t give a fuck about open relationship , this is just bullshit for me . If my bf betray me and find another fuck buddy , I will cut off his penis and ask him fuck off . Relationship is not just about sex . If you can’t satisfy of sex , don’t get attached the guy sleep behind me sucking other guy cock is not acceptable for me Your mind is very narrowminded. by the way : most guys who wrote "foul" on the fucking around are often those later, who fuck around the most... When you are younger you dream of this monogamous relationship. After some years you learn that it is something not achievable, because your sexual desires are just out there. I always love those gay friends who insisted on having a complete monogamous relationship and then you saw one of them at cruising spots or even in a sauna. If sex is just the only thing that you built into your relationship, I m very sure it is prone to fail sooner or earlier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjboy Posted January 5, 2019 Report Share Posted January 5, 2019 1 hour ago, Guest narrowminded said: Your mind is very narrowminded. by the way : most guys who wrote "foul" on the fucking around are often those later, who fuck around the most... When you are younger you dream of this monogamous relationship. After some years you learn that it is something not achievable, because your sexual desires are just out there. I always love those gay friends who insisted on having a complete monogamous relationship and then you saw one of them at cruising spots or even in a sauna. If sex is just the only thing that you built into your relationship, I m very sure it is prone to fail sooner or earlier. Well just different opinions. Not necessary to criticize he is narrow minded. U will call someone narrow minded who doesn't eat durian or spicy food? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitetiger Posted January 5, 2019 Report Share Posted January 5, 2019 How poor is poor? Once a week or once a few months?? Best to talk things out.. you never know, one may seek just emotionally attached but physical "detached" Sex is definitely needed in a relationship.. because 1. guys are horny animals, they need to release somehow.. 2. Sex intimacy reconnect you and him.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guests Posted January 5, 2019 Report Share Posted January 5, 2019 We been together for almost 25 years only recent year from less sex to no sex but we still love each other very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ollie_hollie Posted January 6, 2019 Report Share Posted January 6, 2019 Attached 7 years, last sex was 6months ago, we still love each other very much. He is more into religious now. But I’m still very high sex drive. Tiring of hj, need regular fun buddy. (Is there such buddy?PM me please) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pause Posted January 8, 2019 Report Share Posted January 8, 2019 On 1/6/2019 at 7:06 PM, ollie_hollie said: Attached 7 years, last sex was 6months ago, we still love each other very much. He is more into religious now. But I’m still very high sex drive. Tiring of hj, need regular fun buddy. (Is there such buddy?PM me please) So how did u manage to do it six months ago ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gympump Posted January 9, 2019 Report Share Posted January 9, 2019 It is a common thing in gay relationship. Talk about this with him and see if you can work a way out. Both of you must try at least and do not avoid the problem. If it doesn't work out, fine, try other solutions. For those couples who had the same scenario like yours, some of them tried open relationship. Some manage to work it out while it doesn't for others. Take this as the last step though. Try not to jo too often. If there is any fetish, discuss and try with each other. This may spice up the sex session. If both agree to open relationship, can start with only allowing both to play together with a 3rd person. If this does not work too for reasons such as not into 3some or one of you travels most of the time, both can agree to have sex occasionally without each other. Let open relationship be the last option. I seen many couples argued about sex when they are in a relationship. Some ended their relationship in the end, while some last for 2 decades and on going. In the end it is the other factors in the relationship that pull both of you closer or separate both of your further. Hope the relationship work out for the both of you. If it doesn't move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garyl Posted January 17, 2019 Report Share Posted January 17, 2019 (edited) On 1/6/2019 at 7:06 PM, ollie_hollie said: Attached 7 years, last sex was 6months ago, we still love each other very much. He is more into religious now. But I’m still very high sex drive. Tiring of hj, need regular fun buddy. (Is there such buddy?PM me please) I think.. need to discuss and have a frank talk with him on this. Religious, but he has you who has needs.. so he has a duty to u 2..and not only his god.. We also sexed as little as you due to different reasons- age, my gay sex guilty feeling, gym, bored. Eradicating each cause should normalize sex freq a bit. I am suspecting it could be his guilt feeling since you mention religion. I do try to control if forsee issue in what he does, which i am thankful that we are not too religious.. He has to recognize that he might be religiously alone ..if he cant reconcile this in time. Believe me, you will feel emotionally more empty or guilt if you use a regular fun buddy. Edited February 2, 2019 by Garyl Correcting out of topic reply Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovehandle Posted January 17, 2019 Report Share Posted January 17, 2019 4 hours ago, Garyl said: Been through.. i think sometimes is prioritization, ECA with boys outside and houseworks. Tell him stop fxxg outside.. I find spending time in gym helps to keep focus back into relationship too.. Age helps too.. Not having too much money on myself helps too.. And.... Haha lol! ECA but why housework? when a person doesnt like to do hsework or too many hsechores, he will face a drop in sexual life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts