Relationship without sex + I Don't Have Sex With My Bf For Many Months, How to Improve? (compiled)

[cutejack]

38 minutes ago, Guest Mary said:

anymore advice? I haven't been touched for 6 months already.

Many here wanna touch. Be a member first n put up a pic of yr hot body as dp.

[sum1outhere_03]

On 11/11/2019 at 1:16 AM, fab said:

 

有性无爱

有爱无性

 

请选择

None of the above. LOL

 

Btw on a similar note, would you immediately jump to physical intimacy with someone whom you barely know someone from social apps?

 

Personally feel a little intimating if someone asked me for sex (at my age now, in my 30s) especially when I barely know the person thru apps. What say you guys out there?  

[fab]

48 minutes ago, sum1outhere_03 said:

None of the above. LOL

 

Btw on a similar note, would you immediately jump to physical intimacy with someone whom you barely know someone from social apps?

 

Personally feel a little intimating if someone asked me for sex (at my age now, in my 30s) especially when I barely know the person thru apps. What say you guys out there?  

 

Usually not unless he's God's gift standard. 

[sum1outhere_03]

18 minutes ago, fab said:

 

Usually not unless he's God's gift standard. 

LOL the highlighted part is not to be taken literally 😂😂😂 if I read your reply correctly lol.

 

Unless God's gift standard has a different meaning from what I think ? xD

Edited July 20, 2020 by sum1outhere_03

[Looking123]

On 11/8/2019 at 11:05 AM, Guest Guest said:

https://dating.lovetoknow.com/Five_Stages_in_a_Relationship

Recognizing the Five Stages in a Relationship

Every relationship goes through dating stages. There are five to be exact. In these five stages of love, you'll experience attraction, dating, disappointment, stability and, finally, commitment. Through these five stages of a relationship, you'll learn if you and your partner are destined for a lifetime commitment.

The Main Five Stages of a Relationship

How long you stay in one stage depends on the couple. Some couples never advance to the later stages because of incompatibility or emotional immaturity. Because each relationship is unique, it can be difficult to pinpoint the stages of a relationship by month.

Stage One: Attraction and Romance

All couples experience this phase. It occurs when you are beginning to get to know each other; it's a main dating step to go through. It might also be called the fantasy phase or honeymoon stage because your partner can seem perfect during this time. How long this phase lasts varies, but it can be anywhere from a few months to about two years. On average, phase one lasts about three months. This stage is a lot of fun but is not sustainable. People who are constantly changing partners are often trying to remain in this stage. Highlights of this stage of love include:

• Focusing on your similarities and ignoring flaws - Biological forces take over causing you to only see the good.
• Spending a lot of time together - You are in love, after all, and you can't imagine being apart from your lover.
• Conflict avoidance - Conflict is not only avoided in this stage but seems like it will never happen at all.

Stage Two: Reality Sets In

This stage often will begin to creep in slowly during your relationship, but will sometimes happen all at once. The reality phase typically lasts about six months, or as long as it takes for both of you to decide you want to stay together. This is often where relationships end because one person decides they've made a selection mistake. If you can accept each other's flaws, you can progress to the next level. In this stage of healthy relationships:

• You start to see flaws in your partner or behaviors you just don't like. It's not that you are no longer in love, but your partner doesn't seem as great as he or she was in stage one.
• Biology is fighting against you. The romance stage features many endorphins running through your body that gives you that "high" sensation. Your body can't keep this up forever, and so in this stage your elation begins to level off.
• You wonder if you are still in love. The relationship doesn't seem like as much of a fantasy as before.

Stage Three: Disappointment

What began as reality setting in during stage two often turns to disappointment in stage three. Couples at this stage spend about a year working out their differences in an effort to get to a place of stability. If you're able to communicate in healthy ways and see positive progress, you're likely to move to the next phase. The problems presented here are:

• As a couple you believe that arguments are bad, but you are angry at each other anyway.
• Some of the anger can be over trivial things such as small differences between you.
• Since you don't realize that conflict can be healthy, you wonder if this relationship is doomed. In fact, you likely have thoughts of breaking up or getting divorced.
• Without strong communication, trust, and the ability to work as a team, couples are unlikely to advance past this stage.

Stage Four: Stability

If a couple can navigate through the unstable waters of stage three, they will find stage four offers much rest and enjoyment. Couples spend roughly two years feeling stable before progressing into the final stage of commitment. Make efforts to spice up your standard life together to keep the spark alive.

• As a couple, you now have history together, and you have been able to work through some differences.
• The fantasy of stage one is completely gone, but you have accepted this. Yes, you have differences and you sometimes fight, but you love your partner, feel connected to him or her, and you trust you can work through any future conflicts.
• You may, however, feel a little bored at times as the chase is definitely over.
• You may also miss the stage one feelings and wonder if those feelings can be found in someone else.

Stage Five: Commitment

Few couples make it this far, even couples who are married. In this stage, you are truly a team and have progressed through the five stages of love. If dating, this is the stage where you can get married and feel comfortable with that decision. It is a stage of mature and sustainable love that lasts forever in an ideal world for happy couples. Milestones include:

• You have chosen to be with your partner, flaws and all.
• You no longer miss the romance stage because that would mean being with a new person and you don't want that.
• You have a vision for the future together as a couple.

Stages of Romantic Relationships

Knowing about the five stages in a relationship can help you understand your feelings about your partner and your relationship. Know it is natural to lose those early romantic feelings, but something much deeper awaits you in a later stage. To advance through the relationship stages requires communication and hard work. It is worth

 

Good to know. Quoting to keep this in my profile for a quick reference next time.

[steppenwolf]

On 11/2/2019 at 12:26 PM, Btmboi1706 said:

I have been with my bf for awhile, and I sort of lost sexual attraction on him. I have been rejecting his request many times, and I felt uncomfortable when he wants it. Now he is more like a family to me and everything has been fine but I just don’t have the urge for sex when I’m with him. However I do feel some other guy sexually attractive. I’m not sure if the relationship can still last with sex. Is there something wrong with me?

 

 

Episode one of this series might offer you some insights? 
Communication +  Honesty = Invigoration?

 

 

[hellopanda]

On 11/2/2019 at 12:26 PM, Btmboi1706 said:

I have been with my bf for awhile, and I sort of lost sexual attraction on him. I have been rejecting his request many times, and I felt uncomfortable when he wants it. Now he is more like a family to me and everything has been fine but I just don’t have the urge for sex when I’m with him. However I do feel some other guy sexually attractive. I’m not sure if the relationship can still last with sex. Is there something wrong with me?

I’m in the opposite. Ive been w my bf for 6 years and we don’t really have sex anymore or any sorts of intimacy actions. Btw, we live together for 4 years. 
 

I really need sex, kisses and all.... what should I do?

[caindukker]

5 hours ago, hellopanda said:

I’m in the opposite. Ive been w my bf for 6 years and we don’t really have sex anymore or any sorts of intimacy actions. Btw, we live together for 4 years. 
 

I really need sex, kisses and all.... what should I do?

Maybe you should talk to him. I'd tell my bf if I wanna fuck him hard. Let him know that I'm horny and really need to cum in his tight ass. I'm pretty straight forward I guess. Lol. 

 

You'll need to find out why he's less interested in you. Is it stress? Or is he just bored with eating the same 'food' every day? And tell him it's okay to be bored. What's important is how to fix that. 

 

I've been with my bf for 4 years and coming to 5. We don't have sex as often as before. But that's fine. We still love each other very much and most importantly, if we need sex, we gotta say it and we got to give it. If things get boring, then we'll have to spice it up a little. Maybe experiment a little with toys, a little S&M, or even exhibiting a little. Worst case scenario, bring another dude into our sex life, I don't mind. 

 

One of the little things I do is to tell him that we'll be going out on a date day like we used to, tell him that the day will be all about us. Like how we first met. Forget about work, forget about your problems and only pay attention to one another. I'll bring him to the movies, shopping, maybe an arcade, try something new and fun, buy him stuff, go to his favorite restaurant, a stroll at the beach, stare into his beautiful eyes, keep telling him the things I love about him and by the end of the day, I'll fuck him real good and tell him how much I love him. Basically just showering him with all the love I have. 

 

Sometimes people forget how much they love each other. Living together helps you forget that, we get so used to the person beside us that we don't realized how much we love them. So once in awhile it's good to do something that reminds us of that. 

[hellopanda]

2 hours ago, caindukker said:

Maybe you should talk to him. I'd tell my bf if I wanna fuck him hard. Let him know that I'm horny and really need to cum in his tight ass. I'm pretty straight forward I guess. Lol. 

 

You'll need to find out why he's less interested in you. Is it stress? Or is he just bored with eating the same 'food' every day? And tell him it's okay to be bored. What's important is how to fix that. 

 

I've been with my bf for 4 years and coming to 5. We don't have sex as often as before. But that's fine. We still love each other very much and most importantly, if we need sex, we gotta say it and we got to give it. If things get boring, then we'll have to spice it up a little. Maybe experiment a little with toys, a little S&M, or even exhibiting a little. Worst case scenario, bring another dude into our sex life, I don't mind. 

 

One of the little things I do is to tell him that we'll be going out on a date day like we used to, tell him that the day will be all about us. Like how we first met. Forget about work, forget about your problems and only pay attention to one another. I'll bring him to the movies, shopping, maybe an arcade, try something new and fun, buy him stuff, go to his favorite restaurant, a stroll at the beach, stare into his beautiful eyes, keep telling him the things I love about him and by the end of the day, I'll fuck him real good and tell him how much I love him. Basically just showering him with all the love I have. 

 

Sometimes people forget how much they love each other. Living together helps you forget that, we get so used to the person beside us that we don't realized how much we love them. So once in awhile it's good to do something that reminds us of that. 

I tried talking to him, but he refused to even talk about this topic and keep saying he has very low sex drive and then we will quarrel and back to square one. I can feel that the sparks level is very low now, i cherish him as a person but i don’t feel so much of love anymore. Sometimes i feel like he is my roommate/housemate than anything else.

 

I don’t feel like giving up this rs just because of sex, at the same time i’m not sure what else can i do.....

[mate69]

58 minutes ago, hellopanda said:

I tried talking to him, but he refused to even talk about this topic and keep saying he has very low sex drive and then we will quarrel and back to square one. I can feel that the sparks level is very low now, i cherish him as a person but i don’t feel so much of love anymore. Sometimes i feel like he is my roommate/housemate than anything else.

 

I don’t feel like giving up this rs just because of sex, at the same time i’m not sure what else can i do.....

 

A LOT of other couples are just like you

Very very common phenomenon

The day-to-day living and the endless things to do like work, finances (very important) take precedence and will take their toll on intimacy, sex

[wkayz]

1 hour ago, hellopanda said:

I tried talking to him, but he refused to even talk about this topic and keep saying he has very low sex drive and then we will quarrel and back to square one. I can feel that the sparks level is very low now, i cherish him as a person but i don’t feel so much of love anymore. Sometimes i feel like he is my roommate/housemate than anything else.

 

I don’t feel like giving up this rs just because of sex, at the same time i’m not sure what else can i do.....

 

Wondering how old are you, how old is your bf?

Sounds like he is either really not horny as he says, or he's just not horny for you, but maybe messing around outside?

 

This situation is so common in many relationships after few years together, so sad indeed. I guess you two really need to talk and work it out. He has to take care of your sexual needs as well.

[hellopanda]

25 minutes ago, wkayz said:

 

Wondering how old are you, how old is your bf?

Sounds like he is either really not horny as he says, or he's just not horny for you, but maybe messing around outside?

 

This situation is so common in many relationships after few years together, so sad indeed. I guess you two really need to talk and work it out. He has to take care of your sexual needs as well.

I’m 30 and he is 32. We never had very frequent sex/any other actions. Probably from twice a month in the beginning slowly become once a month and then once in every 3-4 months. 
 

I don’t think I have very high sex drive, but i think once in a month is the least I can accept. Oh and he don’t allow me to touch him at all other than hands. Sometimes I just want to touch his dick while watching tv and he will push my hand away or just let me touch like 3 seconds. I tried talking to him, but he never wanted to get into this conversation. 

[wkayz]

1 minute ago, hellopanda said:

Oh and he don’t allow me to touch him at all other than hands. Sometimes I just want to touch his dick while watching tv and he will push my hand away or just let me touch like 3 seconds. I tried talking to him, but he never wanted to get into this conversation. 

 

This age should still be a horny age leh.

Something sounds very fishy about your bf leh. Is he disgusted to be touched by you that's why he pushed your hand away? Tricky situation.

[hellopanda]

10 minutes ago, wkayz said:

 

This age should still be a horny age leh.

Something sounds very fishy about your bf leh. Is he disgusted to be touched by you that's why he pushed your hand away? Tricky situation.

He said i’m being weird “who would touch bf’s dick while watching tv”. Am I weird? 

[wkayz]

2 minutes ago, hellopanda said:

He said i’m being weird “who would touch bf’s dick while watching tv”. Am I weird? 

 

Wow he's making you the strange/wrong one. Haha I'd touch my bf's dick anytime I want. How is that weird?

Sounds like he's just not sexually attracted by you anymore. Not sure leh bro, seriously you need to talk to him and find out what's wrong. 

[hellopanda]

4 minutes ago, wkayz said:

 

Wow he's making you the strange/wrong one. Haha I'd touch my bf's dick anytime I want. How is that weird?

Sounds like he's just not sexually attracted by you anymore. Not sure leh bro, seriously you need to talk to him and find out what's wrong. 

Ive been thinking of ending this but other than this part, we are doing ok. Plus moving out and sort things out seems to be very troublesome.

 

Could you live in a rs like this? If you both are still loving?

[And then]

3 hours ago, hellopanda said:

Ive been thinking of ending this but other than this part, we are doing ok. Plus moving out and sort things out seems to be very troublesome.

 

Could you live in a rs like this? If you both are still loving?

 

My relationship is much longer than yours, and have been sexless for a few years.

Otherwise we are good.

He is OK with me playing outside.

 

I guess you have to decide what you want. The spark is not going to come back.

Either move on, or continue- just do JO, or open relationship

[hellopanda]

18 minutes ago, And then said:

 

My relationship is much longer than yours, and have been sexless for a few years.

Otherwise we are good.

He is OK with me playing outside.

 

I guess you have to decide what you want. The spark is not going to come back.

Either move on, or continue- just do JO, or open relationship

Are you guys living together?

[singalion]

15 hours ago, hellopanda said:

I’m in the opposite. Ive been w my bf for 6 years and we don’t really have sex anymore or any sorts of intimacy actions. Btw, we live together for 4 years. 
 

I really need sex, kisses and all.... what should I do?

 

7 hours ago, hellopanda said:

I tried talking to him, but he refused to even talk about this topic and keep saying he has very low sex drive and then we will quarrel and back to square one. I can feel that the sparks level is very low now, i cherish him as a person but i don’t feel so much of love anymore. Sometimes i feel like he is my roommate/housemate than anything else.

 

I don’t feel like giving up this rs just because of sex, at the same time i’m not sure what else can i do.....

 

5 hours ago, hellopanda said:

I’m 30 and he is 32. We never had very frequent sex/any other actions. Probably from twice a month in the beginning slowly become once a month and then once in every 3-4 months. 
 

I don’t think I have very high sex drive, but i think once in a month is the least I can accept. Oh and he don’t allow me to touch him at all other than hands. Sometimes I just want to touch his dick while watching tv and he will push my hand away or just let me touch like 3 seconds. I tried talking to him, but he never wanted to get into this conversation. 

 

Relationships are nothing simple and straightforward. 

Lack of sex after 5 years in a relationship seems a bit very early for me. 

 

What I can imagine, maybe he started suffering from Erectile Dysfunction and feels shy about it. Actually, having less sex due to this is the wrong way. 

When living together then he should not have a "second wife" but you never know. 

Pushing your hand away is a bit a reaction the sort of "It doesn't belong to you anymore". 

From other guys, I know, some who had been cheated start feeling a disgust in the other partner and reject the sex because they feel the one who cheated is somehow "dirty". 

 

Not even kissing in a relationship seems strange to me as well. Mostly couples who don't entertain much in sex still have hugs n kisses. 

Seems more of your bf have a sort of grudge on you. 

 

If he doesn't allow touching you, then there might be a psychological blockage in him. (if ED, then maybe he feels shy to let you know). 

ED can come from many sources, diabetes, blood pressure issues etc etc. 

 

The important thing for all relationships is to look at ways to spice it up. However, it is not uncommon for longer couples to cease having common sex. The thrill is just gone. A big reason is seen in the routine of sex. Most partners will explain, it's just always the same and the same way. To keep the sex life going you need to look at distractions and not to allow any routine to creep in. But all in all, the amount of sex will cool down, surely after 8 - 12 years in a relationship. I know this advice may come too late for your relationship. 

I heard of gay couples where the sexual preference on top and bottom changed, the bottom turned to a top only, vice versa. 

 

I would recommend to you to look out for any romantic setting, depending on what he likes, or a secluded dinner place like the Cliff at Sofitel Sentosa (if you like such settings). Somewhere, where he has no reason to stay quiet, due to crowds and other disturbances. I would take the chance to ask him and talk about the issue and let him share for your personal grievance and suffering. But show understanding. You can stress honesty is important to a relationship and you want to know what is going on. 
Anyhow, romance can bring back a sense of happiness to him and to see that you still treasure him. 

Even if you return home very sad, at least you know better what reason caused the reaction of your bf. 

 

But I don't know you and don't know what your bf likes. 

 

As said, the reason might not be you but him. 

 

 

[And then]

1 hour ago, hellopanda said:

Are you guys living together?

 yeah, almost from day one.

[caindukker]

The last time I had this happen to me was my last relationship. We were together for 4 years and we barely touched. Same situation. Everything was fine besides sex. And hell I want sex. Told him that if he keeps this up, I will end the relationship. And I did. Telling him to change would only end up in fights. It might be hard to breakup. But I wouldn't waste any more of my life with someone who doesn't want to work on our relationship. It takes 2 to tango. You stop giving, I'll end it then. It will hurt, badly, but you'll eventually find someone better who showers you with all the love you deserve. 

[hellopanda]

On 7/24/2020 at 5:51 PM, singalion said:

 

 

 

Relationships are nothing simple and straightforward. 

Lack of sex after 5 years in a relationship seems a bit very early for me. 

 

What I can imagine, maybe he started suffering from Erectile Dysfunction and feels shy about it. Actually, having less sex due to this is the wrong way. 

When living together then he should not have a "second wife" but you never know. 

Pushing your hand away is a bit a reaction the sort of "It doesn't belong to you anymore". 

From other guys, I know, some who had been cheated start feeling a disgust in the other partner and reject the sex because they feel the one who cheated is somehow "dirty". 

 

Not even kissing in a relationship seems strange to me as well. Mostly couples who don't entertain much in sex still have hugs n kisses. 

Seems more of your bf have a sort of grudge on you. 

 

If he doesn't allow touching you, then there might be a psychological blockage in him. (if ED, then maybe he feels shy to let you know). 

ED can come from many sources, diabetes, blood pressure issues etc etc. 

 

The important thing for all relationships is to look at ways to spice it up. However, it is not uncommon for longer couples to cease having common sex. The thrill is just gone. A big reason is seen in the routine of sex. Most partners will explain, it's just always the same and the same way. To keep the sex life going you need to look at distractions and not to allow any routine to creep in. But all in all, the amount of sex will cool down, surely after 8 - 12 years in a relationship. I know this advice may come too late for your relationship. 

I heard of gay couples where the sexual preference on top and bottom changed, the bottom turned to a top only, vice versa. 

 

I would recommend to you to look out for any romantic setting, depending on what he likes, or a secluded dinner place like the Cliff at Sofitel Sentosa (if you like such settings). Somewhere, where he has no reason to stay quiet, due to crowds and other disturbances. I would take the chance to ask him and talk about the issue and let him share for your personal grievance and suffering. But show understanding. You can stress honesty is important to a relationship and you want to know what is going on. 
Anyhow, romance can bring back a sense of happiness to him and to see that you still treasure him. 

Even if you return home very sad, at least you know better what reason caused the reaction of your bf. 

 

But I don't know you and don't know what your bf likes. 

 

As said, the reason might not be you but him. 

 

 

I’m not sure if he is suffering from ED, but I don’t think so (from my observation). I also tried spicing things up, but doesn’t work. We never really had high frequency of sex to begin with even when the relationship first started, but dying now in 5-6 years is too soon. I can’t imagine to carry on a life like this...

[Guest Guest]

If no longet intimate, would it be good to breakup?

[Guest Guest]

I've been together with my bf for more than a year. He is a Thai Chinese and holds a PR here. I first met him at a client office and instantly fall in love with this fit manly handsome guy standing at about 1.9m tall. After many business lunches and dinners, we became friends and our friendship slowly developed into a relationship.

One night after a dinner, he drove me to his apartment and we had our first sex together.

My bf is definitely a show-er, his flaccid cock is 4 inches long but quite disappointed after erected. His cock only got thicker after erected and length still at 4-4.5 inches. I always wanted TOPs to have above 5.5 inches erected cock but sadly my bf don't. Sex with him was getting lesser and lesser and can also go without it for a month.  Somehow I felt it was because of his size. I love him and I don't want to lose him but how can I improve my sex life for him? 

[GachiMuchi]

You are focusing on the wrong aspect of the relationship, instead of being happy with a successful, tall, handsome and manly guy, you focus on his short cumming. I am sure those single members here, who are reading your post would want to slap your face and take your bf for themselves.

 

I don't think your relationship will work, if you don't make chance to your size queen mentality. 

 

Anyway, maybe you should just let him go and go find yourself someone who can have all the above qualities and a big cock.  And hopefully, you get lucky and lands yourself with a successful, tall, handsome manly guy with a big cock for a boy friend, No venture no gain right?

 

 

 

Based on the above charts, your bf's dick is average at best. If you want to bigger cock, you should put your focus on those Ang Mo or African. instead.

Edited April 27, 2022 by GachiMuchi

[thepresentfitness]

On 4/26/2022 at 2:15 AM, GachiMuchi said:

You are focusing on the wrong aspect of the relationship, instead of being happy with a successful, tall, handsome and manly guy, you focus on his short cumming. I am sure those single members here, who are reading your post would want to slap your face and take your bf for themselves.

 

I don't think your relationship will work, if you don't make chance to your size queen mentality. 

 

Anyway, maybe you should just let him go and go find yourself someone who can have all the above qualities and a big cock.  And hopefully, you get lucky and lands yourself with a successful, tall, handsome manly guy with a big cock for a boy friend, No venture no gain right?

 

 

 

Based on the above charts, your bf's disk is average at best. If you want to bigger cock, you should put your focus on those Ang Mo or African. instead.

Totally agree. I also don't think your relationship will last, if you continue this kind of mentality. 

Side issue and gentle reminder; sex between men is still illegal here in Sg. Relationship w/out sex could maybe even be a blessing. 

[fab]

On 4/26/2022 at 1:07 AM, Guest Guest said:

I've been together with my bf for more than a year. He is a Thai Chinese and holds a PR here. I first met him at a client office and instantly fall in love with this fit manly handsome guy standing at about 1.9m tall. After many business lunches and dinners, we became friends and our friendship slowly developed into a relationship.

One night after a dinner, he drove me to his apartment and we had our first sex together.

My bf is definitely a show-er, his flaccid cock is 4 inches long but quite disappointed after erected. His cock only got thicker after erected and length still at 4-4.5 inches. I always wanted TOPs to have above 5.5 inches erected cock but sadly my bf don't. Sex with him was getting lesser and lesser and can also go without it for a month.  Somehow I felt it was because of his size. I love him and I don't want to lose him but how can I improve my sex life for him? 

 

Ask him to use his 👊 ✊ , feet or even head if necessary.