Relationship without sex + I Don't Have Sex With My Bf For Many Months, How to Improve? (compiled)

[feedersmiracle]

I guess talking is good. Sometimes tired from real life and sometimes no mood, but we still would wanna hold hands and kiss or hug. For me in a relationship below 25 : have sex drive about once a month, and outside of that we just jerk off on our own... but the amount of communication we share and desire to hug / kiss is still there. Sometimes is not even about hugging or kissing, we could be just playing with each other hands or give a reassuring rub on the shoulder or legs (slightly above knee).

 

Almost 3 years and still staying for more...

Edited August 31, 2019 by feedersmiracle

[Guest Guest]

On 8/30/2019 at 2:54 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

Hi dear "Guest knn"     You must be the miserable guy who took out a membership "kee_siao" with the only purpose to indiscriminately down-vote ten of my posts.

 

You must be really kee_siao to attack happily retired senior members who easily can take a bit of their extensive leisure time to fend off nasty vermin like you.

If in your feelings of inferiority and spite you create memberships specifically to attack other members,  in your lack of intelligence you don't realize that a smart retired senior can also create memberships to counter your spite in every one of his posts you vote down, while making him feel satisfaction with every one he does so.

Thank you for giving me so much satisfaction 

 

And here is my Relationship Advice: be very careful and avoid any relationships with kee_siao Guests like Knn  !

 

I want to suggest to BW to disable this down-vote feature,  given that it can be an easy tool of attack and revenge,  like this "kee_siao" proves.  If a post is so bad that it deserves to be voted down, the "Report" feature could take care of this. 

.

 

 

.... and here we go again ... argue argue argue .... this particular "happily retired senior members who easily can take a bit of their extensive leisure time to" try throwing more of the threads into the flaming room is here again .... shaddup already, wilya? 

[khione]

My advise would be to take a step back and ponder on your situation. Think about what you really want for yourself. It takes two to tango. Maybe you are not compatible with each other? Or are you really willing to be like this for the duration of your relationship?

 

After you figure out what you want or what you're looking for in a relationship, then talk to him. Ask about his thoughts on why is he acting the way he is acting. Is he willing to compormise, and are you to willing to compromise? Talking is really the key here.

[Steve5380]

6 hours ago, feedersmiracle said:

I guess talking is good. Sometimes tired from real life and sometimes no mood, but we still would wanna hold hands and kiss or hug. For me in a relationship below 25 : have sex drive about once a month, and outside of that we just jerk off on our own... but the amount of communication we share and desire to hug / kiss is still there. Sometimes is not even about hugging or kissing, we could be just playing with each other hands or give a reassuring rub on the shoulder or legs (slightly above knee).

 

Almost 3 years and still staying for more...

 

With 3 years of life your relationship has good chances to become successful.  If you can stay monogamous, fine.  But remember, no good relationship should be ruined by a senseless expectation of "fidelity".  If either of you does something outside the relationship,  don't fall into deep drama.  Casual sex does not kill love.  Just talk it out, and allow each other some openness.  Fifty years later you may be glad you did !

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, Guest knn said:

me not tt watever mbr u said
but u definitely gave me/us a v gd suggestion wat to do to u
WAHAHAHAHA

 

5 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

.... and here we go again ... argue argue argue .... this particular "happily retired senior members who easily can take a bit of their extensive leisure time to" try throwing more of the threads into the flaming room is here again .... shaddup already, wilya? 

 

LOL!  Here your blabber is pure ENVY 

 

If you think that you can harm members by down-voting their posts from an artificial membership while you cannot be harmed like that since you are only coward Guests, remember that your victims can do exactly the same and up-vote with "like" every single post you down-vote. 

 

So save you the trouble, and pray to God to help you with your feelings of hate and envy. 

.

 

 

[WheelofTime]

Maybe he sees you more as a family member rather than a lover. 

On 8/26/2019 at 2:59 PM, sam8899 said:

To be rather brutal, I would say the chance of the relationship being sustained is rather low.

 

Most couples eventually get to this stage (minimal/no sex), but that usually takes many years. And during those years, the foundations of a long term relationship are built.

 

My concerns in your situation is that this is happening when things "should" still be at the honeymoon stage.

 

And aside from sex, the withdrawal from (non sexual) physical contact is also a bad sign.

Maybe he sees you more as a family member rather than a lover at this stage. And I agree that constant withdrawal from physical contact (non-sexual) could be a bad sign...you really have to talk to him and get the truth Is it due to past trauma? Is he by nature not an affectionate person? Or etc etc...Don't compromise what you want in a relationship in order to sustain, you will be super unhappy. Good luck

[feedersmiracle]

14 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

With 3 years of life your relationship has good chances to become successful.  If you can stay monogamous, fine.  But remember, no good relationship should be ruined by a senseless expectation of "fidelity".  If either of you does something outside the relationship,  don't fall into deep drama.  Casual sex does not kill love.  Just talk it out, and allow each other some openness.  Fifty years later you may be glad you did !

 

I'm not sure if that will happen because no one can read minds. But from what I can see, aside from working for our future, arguing about our future, and planning for our future... Sometimes want to "cheat" also no time... Because already so tired... At the end of the day when see each other is just a sense of happiness and relief that the day is finally over.

 

Edit: I have a weak command of the English language.

Edited September 1, 2019 by feedersmiracle

[Steve5380]

18 hours ago, feedersmiracle said:

 

Edit: I have a weak command of the English language.

 

Read a lot and write some,  and your English will keep getting better 

[LeanMature]

Many couples get attached just because of physical attractiveness.  But that cannot sustain a relationship forever because it is not permanent.  Other aspects of a relationship has to be developed and prioritised.

[Steve5380]

On 9/2/2019 at 12:33 AM, LeanMature said:

Many couples get attached just because of physical attractiveness.  But that cannot sustain a relationship forever because it is not permanent.  Other aspects of a relationship has to be developed and prioritised.

 

When physical attractiveness leads to sex,  won't this sex open a path for deeper love also?  At least this is what I feel even in some casual sex. My sex is not fucking a warm hole, but caressing, kissing the body of a PERSON and being reciprocated. This invariably brings some positive feelings, an eventual prelude to love.

[Guest InBangkok]

On 8/26/2019 at 4:57 PM, Jackhammer said:

My apologies. As I thought I probably written too much, I did not fill in such information. We are both 42. I stay in Singapore while he stays in Johor. We meet up at least once a month in the past.

Although you are not far from Johor, you only see each other once a month. Effectively you are in a long distance relationship and these are not easy to keep going. Since you are unemployed, have you been seeing him more regularly? You mentioned that you keep in touch with him daily but that he no longer writes "I love you". That for me would be a big red flag that his feelings for you have changed. It may be that he now regards your relationship as more friendship than lover. But as others have said, unless you talk to him about it, you will never know. The keys to any relationship are relatively simple - care, share and communicate.

[LeanMature]

2 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

When physical attractiveness leads to sex,  won't this sex open a path for deeper love also?  At least this is what I feel even in some casual sex. My sex is not fucking a warm hole, but caressing, kissing the body of a PERSON and being reciprocated. This invariably brings some positive feelings, an eventual prelude to love.

 

Not always the case.  Many are too attached to physical attractiveness that when it is gone, the urge to have sex is also gone.  Not sure how long a relationship can last wothout a healthy sex life.  Maybe some can.

[Kimochi]

. Jack gotten fatter? 

. How many times he fetching you from customs and sending back, and the time taken. Isit worth it?  Are you worth the waiting time? Does that means more money gone if he use this time to work instead? 

. Job wise what can you contribute to the dinner table and everything needed to sustain the predicted lifestyle? 

. Any supplements or diets he took or you both taking? (Can affect libido and mood) or medications? 

https://time.com/23982/low-libido-11-drugs-that-affect-your-sex-drive/?amp=true 

. Curses or voodoo being casted on him? (Individual belief )

 

 

[Steve5380]

6 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

Not always the case.  Many are too attached to physical attractiveness that when it is gone, the urge to have sex is also gone.  Not sure how long a relationship can last wothout a healthy sex life.  Maybe some can.

 

Yes, when physical attractiveness is gone so is the desire of sex with the person.  But if love has crept into the relationship,  this is the time to discuss making the relationship more open. There is more to a relationship than a sex or lack of it that should get in the way of preserving it. 

[LeanMature]

12 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Yes, when physical attractiveness is gone so is the desire of sex with the person.  But if love has crept into the relationship,  this is the time to discuss making the relationship more open. There is more to a relationship than a sex or lack of it that should get in the way of preserving it. 

 

Provided both parties are agreeable to an open relationship, meaning we love and care for each other but not physically and sexually. Does it really work this way ?

[Steve5380]

19 minutes ago, LeanMature said:

 

Provided both parties are agreeable to an open relationship, meaning we love and care for each other but not physically and sexually. Does it really work this way ?

 

Yes, it works, and well.  I know some couples together for decades where one of them befriends and brings home guys who will fuck his partner, who is a bottom.

[LeanMature]

2 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Yes, it works, and well.  I know some couples together for decades where one of them befriends and brings home guys who will fuck his partner, who is a bottom.

 

Then won't this sex with the third person open a path for deeper love also ?  

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

Then won't this sex with the third person open a path for deeper love also ?  

 

Not necessarily.  When one has everything with the partner except for sex,  wouldn't one look only for sex with the third person instead of an improbable everything-else?

[feedersmiracle]

13 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Yes, it works, and well.  I know some couples together for decades where one of them befriends and brings home guys who will fuck his partner, who is a bottom.

 

Some people might be ok with this but honestly when I was sitting down with bf over a drink, we both agreed it was super weird unless it's like a case where we bring home some super exotic fruit to try together. Which probably won't be the case since both of us have fixed preferences lol.

[wilfgene]

On 9/4/2019 at 8:00 PM, Steve5380 said:

 

Yes, when physical attractiveness is gone so is the desire of sex with the person.  But if love has crept into the relationship,  this is the time to discuss making the relationship more open. There is more to a relationship than a sex or lack of it that should get in the way of preserving it. 

 

17 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

Provided both parties are agreeable to an open relationship, meaning we love and care for each other but not physically and sexually. Does it really work this way ?

 

17 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Yes, it works, and well.  I know some couples together for decades where one of them befriends and brings home guys who will fuck his partner, who is a bottom.

 

15 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

Then won't this sex with the third person open a path for deeper love also ?  

 

6 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Not necessarily.  When one has everything with the partner except for sex,  wouldn't one look only for sex with the third person instead of an improbable everything-else?

Only serve to remind me of the Time the prime meat in the scene offered to establish an open relationship with me.

9 hours later another guy already in an open relationship made the first move to engage in anal sex with me.

I reached around and felt no condom.

In the darkness of the steam room I raised my head.

举头三尺有神明 

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, feedersmiracle said:

 

Some people might be ok with this but honestly when I was sitting down with bf over a drink, we both agreed it was super weird unless it's like a case where we bring home some super exotic fruit to try together. Which probably won't be the case since both of us have fixed preferences lol.

 

What I mentioned of the couple where one of them brought home a top to satisfy his bottom partner is not common, but I know two couples that did this.  And the purpose was not to do a threesome but to make up for the inability of the guy to fulfill the needs of his partner.  A simple case of love beyond sex.

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, wilfgene said:

 

Only serve to remind me of the Time the prime meat in the scene offered to establish an open relationship with me.

9 hours later another guy already in an open relationship made the first move to engage in anal sex with me.

I reached around and felt no condom.

In the darkness of the steam room I raised my head.

举头三尺有神明 

 

I don't know what "举头三尺有神明" is, but you are describing your personal experience that has little to do with what we were discussing.  Some guy proposed an open relationship with you, and 9 hours later you accepted anal sex with another guy.  This is fine!  You could have pure open sex with other 10 guys.  This is your choice.

 

The scenario we were talking about is that of a couple in a successful relationship, together by genuine love, or likeness for each other, or habit, or even convenience. Then over time the sex stops, and one of them thinks: "I have been without sex for a year,  will this go on and will this be the end of sex in my life?"  In THIS case, instead of breaking up a good r.s. over lack of sex,  why not agree that the one who misses it can have sex with others outside the r.s.?  Maybe establishing some reasonable rules that both can agree on.

[feedersmiracle]

5 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

What I mentioned of the couple where one of them brought home a top to satisfy his bottom partner is not common, but I know two couples that did this.  And the purpose was not to do a threesome but to make up for the inability of the guy to fulfill the needs of his partner.  A simple case of love beyond sex.

 

They can enjoy if the partner is not your husband? Must be anal? Sex toys or other forms of sex? It doesn't feel like cheating?... Maybe I just can't perceive how it's possible for them... lol 

[Steve5380]

30 minutes ago, feedersmiracle said:

 

They can enjoy if the partner is not your husband? Must be anal? Sex toys or other forms of sex? It doesn't feel like cheating?... Maybe I just can't perceive how it's possible for them... lol 

 

Let's see if I understand you.  If you are in a marriage where sex has vanished,  and you have to make a trip to somewhere else where you find yourself with the opportunity to have sex with someone who attracts you, you won't be able to do it?   lol     Is this a case of a spiritual chastity belt?

 

Not even if your husband allows you do have sex when you are away on a trip?

.

Edited September 6, 2019 by Steve5380

[feedersmiracle]

10 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Let's see if I understand you.  If you are in a marriage where sex has vanished,  and you have to make a trip to somewhere else where you find yourself with the opportunity to have sex with someone who attracts you, you won't be able to do it?   lol     Is this a case of a spiritual chastity belt?

 

Not even if your husband allows you do have sex when you are away on a trip?

.

 

If sex vanished I would go back to my partner / husband and discuss feelings and solutions. Why would I make a trip to have sex outside?

 

I have had a meal with someone that I was planning to have sex with outside before, but all that did was to reinforce the fact that I'm just someone else's sexual pleasure, and dinner was bland and tasteless.

 

And when I discuss this encounter with my BF, he replied, I'm not angry you had dinner with someone you were planning to have sex with, but I'm happy you found out why you are with me and not any other person.

 

If my bf speaks to me about allowing me to have sex outside then I will ask him and talk to him about why he feels this way, and more so discuss that I do not need to have sex outside in order to fulfill ONE paradigm of our relationship. But that probably won't happen because we're always experimenting in the bedroom, or just do the same thing, or hug and hold hands. 

 

My bf is supposed to "attract me", not someone else outside. And even if I'm attracted to someone outside, I still think is considered cheating, even if he allows it. Is not about spirituality, it's more about morals and what I can see beyond the sex.

 

Sorry for long story and bad England. 

[Steve5380]

6 minutes ago, feedersmiracle said:

 

If sex vanished I would go back to my partner / husband and discuss feelings and solutions. Why would I make a trip to have sex outside?

 

I have had a meal with someone that I was planning to have sex with outside before, but all that did was to reinforce the fact that I'm just someone else's sexual pleasure, and dinner was bland and tasteless.

 

And when I discuss this encounter with my BF, he replied, I'm not angry you had dinner with someone you were planning to have sex with, but I'm happy you found out why you are with me and not any other person.

 

If my bf speaks to me about allowing me to have sex outside then I will ask him and talk to him about why he feels this way, and more so discuss that I do not need to have sex outside in order to fulfill ONE paradigm of our relationship. But that probably won't happen because we're always experimenting in the bedroom, or just do the same thing, or hug and hold hands. 

 

My bf is supposed to "attract me", not someone else outside. And even if I'm attracted to someone outside, I still think is considered cheating, even if he allows it. Is not about spirituality, it's more about morals and what I can see beyond the sex.

 

Sorry for long story and bad England. 

 

Don't worry about your English, it is perfectly understandable

 

We have some differences.  While you see yourself as "someone else's sexual pleasure",  I see the someone else as MY sexual pleasure.

You are fortunate that sex has not vanished from your relationship.  But if it would... what would this discussion be of feelings and solutions?  If he doesn't want sex anymore, could the solution be that you have sex with others?  How...  how would this be IMMORAL?  

 

An act is immoral when it victimizes someone.  If your partner is agreeable to you having sex with others... how does this victimize him,  or you?

 

[feedersmiracle]

11 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Don't worry about your English, it is perfectly understandable

 

We have some differences.  While you see yourself as "someone else's sexual pleasure",  I see the someone else as MY sexual pleasure.

You are fortunate that sex has not vanished from your relationship.  But if it would... what would this discussion be of feelings and solutions?  If he doesn't want sex anymore, could the solution be that you have sex with others?  How...  how would this be IMMORAL?  

 

An act is immoral when it victimizes someone.  If your partner is agreeable to you having sex with others... how does this victimize him,  or you?

 

 

The dinner actually made me realize the mistake I was going to make, and I didn't go through with having sex, of course - the scenario being that my bf didn't agree to me having sex outside before this event.

 

Side topic, before me and my bf got together, I explained that all of my past relationships failed for 2 reasons. Simply put, they were, lack of communication over the smallest problems (which then grow into bigger ones) and both parties not putting in equal effort. Which we then agreed to let neither of those happen.

 

So I think it's quite hard to reach the stage where he allows me to have sex outside or bring guys home.

 

Well unless it's like an very extreme case where one of the guys has a problem of the sexual function, without medical cure. Which you didn't specify deeply the circumstances where the bf allowed the partner to have sex outside. If it's an extreme situation like the one I mentioned, which is completely different from "oh my asshole too tight" or "your cock not good enough for me"...

 

I can kind of understand where you're coming from.

Edited September 6, 2019 by feedersmiracle
Playing the pronoun game

[wilfgene]

On 9/6/2019 at 2:16 AM, wilfgene said:

Only serve to remind me of the Time the prime meat in the scene offered to establish an open relationship with me.

9 hours later another guy already in an open relationship made the first move to engage in anal sex with me.

I reached around and felt no condom.

In the darkness of the steam room I raised my (not as small) head.

举头三尺有神明 

 

On 9/6/2019 at 5:07 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

I don't know what "举头三尺有神明" is, but you are describing your personal experience that has little to do with what we were discussing.  Some guy proposed an open relationship with you, and 9 hours later you accepted anal sex with another guy.  This is fine!  You could have pure open sex with other 10 guys.  This is your choice.

 

The scenario we were talking about is that of a couple in a successful relationship, together by genuine love, or likeness for each other, or habit, or even convenience. Then over time the sex stops, and one of them thinks: "I have been without sex for a year,  will this go on and will this be the end of sex in my life?"  In THIS case, instead of breaking up a good r.s. over lack of sex,  why not agree that the one who misses it can have sex with others outside the r.s.?  Maybe establishing some reasonable rules that both can agree on.

A couple of weeks later, we were having dinner.

I turned around to see who else made that sort of loud laughter?

In the brightness of Han Kang Teochew Restaurant, I lowered my not as small head.

 (- - - - - -) 

 

On 8/26/2019 at 10:42 AM, wilfgene said:

Perhaps you would care to ponder on this Setback from the perspective of Assumption and Expectation.

You have somehow come to subscribe to an Assumption of how a relationship of such nature SHOULD be.

And come to expect how he SHOULD act in such a relationship.

 

Dear,

he is another INDIVIDUAL with his own set of assumption and expectation.

 

Even if you break up with him,

as you have used this opportunity to learn more of yourself,

you won't hate him too much.

 

After all, as a slave in "The Story of The Stone' commented,

"You can thatch a canopy for a thousand miles, all banquets come to an End".    

 

[LeanMature]

12 hours ago, wilfgene said:

 

A couple of weeks later, we were having dinner.

I turned around to see who else made that sort of loud laughter?

In the brightness of Han Kang Teochew Restaurant, I lowered my not as small head.

 (- - - - - -) 

 

 

 

Expected. Very noisy in Chinese restaurants.  That's why most food choking incidents only happened there. 

[wilfgene]

On 9/10/2019 at 2:22 PM, LeanMature said:

 

Expected. Very noisy in Chinese restaurants.  That's why most food choking incidents only happened there. 

And it did not even occur to you to fill in the blanks?

How to shift this section of posts to 'Advice for virgins" thread? 

[potato]

Don't be such a drama queen, nobody needs anybody to survive. Eat some cement and man up.

[Btmboi1706]

I have been with my bf for awhile, and I sort of lost sexual attraction on him. I have been rejecting his request many times, and I felt uncomfortable when he wants it. Now he is more like a family to me and everything has been fine but I just don’t have the urge for sex when I’m with him. However I do feel some other guy sexually attractive. I’m not sure if the relationship can still last with sex. Is there something wrong with me?

[Guest The End]

Talk to him, maybe can consider open relationship or time 3some together. Else just end the relationship.

[feedersmiracle]

19 minutes ago, Btmboi1706 said:

I have been with my bf for awhile, and I sort of lost sexual attraction on him. I have been rejecting his request many times, and I felt uncomfortable when he wants it. Now he is more like a family to me and everything has been fine but I just don’t have the urge for sex when I’m with him. However I do feel some other guy sexually attractive. I’m not sure if the relationship can still last with sex. Is there something wrong with me?

 

Talk to your bf, something between you two hasn't been resolved. Even in the darkest hours if everything between you two is OK, you will still want to be intimate with him. Even if is simple jo or complex anal.

 

You need to find out within yourself why you lost interest in being intimate with him. Do you still love him anymore or is he just someone that you spend time with?

[benedict5856]

22 minutes ago, Btmboi1706 said:

I have been with my bf for awhile, and I sort of lost sexual attraction on him. I have been rejecting his request many times, and I felt uncomfortable when he wants it. Now he is more like a family to me and everything has been fine but I just don’t have the urge for sex when I’m with him. However I do feel some other guy sexually attractive. I’m not sure if the relationship can still last with sex. Is there something wrong with me?

 

u obviously know the answer, that's why u are here asking.

Soon, your bf will go sauna for sex since u can't provide.

And soon, bye bye to yr relationship

[feedersmiracle]

7 minutes ago, benedict5856 said:

 

u obviously know the answer, that's why u are here asking.

Soon, your bf will go sauna for sex since u can't provide.

And soon, bye bye to yr relationship

 

Up to the BF to make the call about discussing no sex in the rs, have sex or not,  cheating is still bad. If bf say to OP he's going to cheat because no sex in rs, at least he spoke up about it.

[fab]

54 minutes ago, Btmboi1706 said:

I have been with my bf for awhile, and I sort of lost sexual attraction on him. I have been rejecting his request many times, and I felt uncomfortable when he wants it. Now he is more like a family to me and everything has been fine but I just don’t have the urge for sex when I’m with him. However I do feel some other guy sexually attractive. I’m not sure if the relationship can still last with sex. Is there something wrong with me?

 

Yes. V wrong. Obviously you don't love him anymore.  At least not as a lover.

 

Time to let go and set him free. Be fair to him.

 

[Innocentguy]

Relationship without sex is pure n holy.

U cant have sex till yr last breath but company n leaning shoulder is needed till u r on death bed. Think abt it n respect his opinion too.

[yag123123]

1 hour ago, fab said:

 

Yes. V wrong. Obviously you don't love him anymore.  At least not as a lover.

 

Time to let go and set him free. Be fair to him.

 

 

It was when i am still confused with my sextuality...and mentioned relantionship without physical touch...he said ok....

 

Then he left..

 

Biggest mistake ever for me and him

[sam8899]

2 hours ago, Btmboi1706 said:

I have been with my bf for awhile, and I sort of lost sexual attraction on him. I have been rejecting his request many times, and I felt uncomfortable when he wants it. Now he is more like a family to me and everything has been fine but I just don’t have the urge for sex when I’m with him. However I do feel some other guy sexually attractive. I’m not sure if the relationship can still last with sex. Is there something wrong with me?

 

It is definitely possible to have a good relationship without sex, but not if one or both parties feel frustrated.

If it is only you who does not want to have sex with him, then are you OK with him having sex outside of the relationship? and is he OK with that arrangement?

 

You can see this as another phase of your relationship

 

[justanotherme]

3 hours ago, Btmboi1706 said:

I have been with my bf for awhile, and I sort of lost sexual attraction on him. I have been rejecting his request many times, and I felt uncomfortable when he wants it. Now he is more like a family to me and everything has been fine but I just don’t have the urge for sex when I’m with him. However I do feel some other guy sexually attractive. I’m not sure if the relationship can still last with sex. Is there something wrong with me?

 

Do you have sex with other guys while you are with him?

 

If yes, temptations out there are too big, and you just cannot accept the fact that there is only one dick filling your hole. Let him go, and he is better without you.

 

When you truly like a person, intimacy is part of the package. When you lose that desire, along with it, you lose the affection for him. Like it or not, that is a hard truth. Face it, and find something to ignite the passion. Else, move on for the better good of both parties.

[Guest Hungry]

12 hours ago, Btmboi1706 said:

I have been with my bf for awhile, and I sort of lost sexual attraction on him. I have been rejecting his request many times, and I felt uncomfortable when he wants it. Now he is more like a family to me and everything has been fine but I just don’t have the urge for sex when I’m with him. However I do feel some other guy sexually attractive. I’m not sure if the relationship can still last with sex. Is there something wrong with me?

You walked into a restaurant,  paid for the buffet simply for the ambience  but didn't feel like eating.  Will this be the best scenario forever? 

[Guest 爱的小妹]

不行，没有吸大屌的伴侣，我会死的

[Guest 网中人]

On 11/3/2019 at 2:09 AM, Guest 爱的小妹 said:

不行，没有吸大屌的伴侣，我会死的

他怕吸出病,,不合胃, 不敢行床.

[LeanMature]

On 11/2/2019 at 12:26 PM, Btmboi1706 said:

I have been with my bf for awhile, and I sort of lost sexual attraction on him. I have been rejecting his request many times, and I felt uncomfortable when he wants it. Now he is more like a family to me and everything has been fine but I just don’t have the urge for sex when I’m with him. However I do feel some other guy sexually attractive. I’m not sure if the relationship can still last with sex. Is there something wrong with me?

 

He is getting old and physically not attractive to you anymore.  Love should go beyond sexual attraction, but not in your case.   

[Guest Guest]

https://dating.lovetoknow.com/Five_Stages_in_a_Relationship

Recognizing the Five Stages in a Relationship

Every relationship goes through dating stages. There are five to be exact. In these five stages of love, you'll experience attraction, dating, disappointment, stability and, finally, commitment. Through these five stages of a relationship, you'll learn if you and your partner are destined for a lifetime commitment.

The Main Five Stages of a Relationship

How long you stay in one stage depends on the couple. Some couples never advance to the later stages because of incompatibility or emotional immaturity. Because each relationship is unique, it can be difficult to pinpoint the stages of a relationship by month.

Stage One: Attraction and Romance

All couples experience this phase. It occurs when you are beginning to get to know each other; it's a main dating step to go through. It might also be called the fantasy phase or honeymoon stage because your partner can seem perfect during this time. How long this phase lasts varies, but it can be anywhere from a few months to about two years. On average, phase one lasts about three months. This stage is a lot of fun but is not sustainable. People who are constantly changing partners are often trying to remain in this stage. Highlights of this stage of love include:

• Focusing on your similarities and ignoring flaws - Biological forces take over causing you to only see the good.
• Spending a lot of time together - You are in love, after all, and you can't imagine being apart from your lover.
• Conflict avoidance - Conflict is not only avoided in this stage but seems like it will never happen at all.

Stage Two: Reality Sets In

This stage often will begin to creep in slowly during your relationship, but will sometimes happen all at once. The reality phase typically lasts about six months, or as long as it takes for both of you to decide you want to stay together. This is often where relationships end because one person decides they've made a selection mistake. If you can accept each other's flaws, you can progress to the next level. In this stage of healthy relationships:

• You start to see flaws in your partner or behaviors you just don't like. It's not that you are no longer in love, but your partner doesn't seem as great as he or she was in stage one.
• Biology is fighting against you. The romance stage features many endorphins running through your body that gives you that "high" sensation. Your body can't keep this up forever, and so in this stage your elation begins to level off.
• You wonder if you are still in love. The relationship doesn't seem like as much of a fantasy as before.

Stage Three: Disappointment

What began as reality setting in during stage two often turns to disappointment in stage three. Couples at this stage spend about a year working out their differences in an effort to get to a place of stability. If you're able to communicate in healthy ways and see positive progress, you're likely to move to the next phase. The problems presented here are:

• As a couple you believe that arguments are bad, but you are angry at each other anyway.
• Some of the anger can be over trivial things such as small differences between you.
• Since you don't realize that conflict can be healthy, you wonder if this relationship is doomed. In fact, you likely have thoughts of breaking up or getting divorced.
• Without strong communication, trust, and the ability to work as a team, couples are unlikely to advance past this stage.

Stage Four: Stability

If a couple can navigate through the unstable waters of stage three, they will find stage four offers much rest and enjoyment. Couples spend roughly two years feeling stable before progressing into the final stage of commitment. Make efforts to spice up your standard life together to keep the spark alive.

• As a couple, you now have history together, and you have been able to work through some differences.
• The fantasy of stage one is completely gone, but you have accepted this. Yes, you have differences and you sometimes fight, but you love your partner, feel connected to him or her, and you trust you can work through any future conflicts.
• You may, however, feel a little bored at times as the chase is definitely over.
• You may also miss the stage one feelings and wonder if those feelings can be found in someone else.

Stage Five: Commitment

Few couples make it this far, even couples who are married. In this stage, you are truly a team and have progressed through the five stages of love. If dating, this is the stage where you can get married and feel comfortable with that decision. It is a stage of mature and sustainable love that lasts forever in an ideal world for happy couples. Milestones include:

• You have chosen to be with your partner, flaws and all.
• You no longer miss the romance stage because that would mean being with a new person and you don't want that.
• You have a vision for the future together as a couple.

Stages of Romantic Relationships

Knowing about the five stages in a relationship can help you understand your feelings about your partner and your relationship. Know it is natural to lose those early romantic feelings, but something much deeper awaits you in a later stage. To advance through the relationship stages requires communication and hard work. It is worth

[nickyno1]

I think this idea of "love" that we all have puts an incredible amount of pressure on our partners, not only do they have to be our best friend, they also have to be a constant companion, someone who shares our interest, and a sexual lover. If you add to that years of familiarity, you can find yourself in a situation where sex with your significant other isn't just erotic anymore.

 

Now as you said, the sexual chemistry between you two has gone(at least for you), so it's really up to you to bring it up and change it back, if you desire to do so. After all, the rest of the relationship is still there, and it seems like you still value that. So ask yourself, when was it that you last felt attracted to him? How did it happen? What were the circumstances? Can you bring that back? What triggers that erotic fantasy of yours? How can he fulfil it?

 

Then communicate with him, honestly. Because if not, it seems like he'll get needier and needier, and can be an even greater turn-off sexually. Some distance apart for a bit might help.

[feedersmiracle]

1 hour ago, nickyno1 said:

I think this idea of "love" that we all have puts an incredible amount of pressure on our partners, not only do they have to be our best friend, they also have to be a constant companion, someone who shares our interest, and a sexual lover. If you add to that years of familiarity, you can find yourself in a situation where sex with your significant other isn't just erotic anymore.

 

Now as you said, the sexual chemistry between you two has gone(at least for you), so it's really up to you to bring it up and change it back, if you desire to do so. After all, the rest of the relationship is still there, and it seems like you still value that. So ask yourself, when was it that you last felt attracted to him? How did it happen? What were the circumstances? Can you bring that back? What triggers that erotic fantasy of yours? How can he fulfil it?

 

Then communicate with him, honestly. Because if not, it seems like he'll get needier and needier, and can be an even greater turn-off sexually. Some distance apart for a bit might help.

 

I rather them speak up and discuss the issue compared to being apart and give space for even lesser communication... If they are apart they might start to find sexual interests elsewhere, if there are sexual interests at all.

Edited November 9, 2019 by feedersmiracle
Android default keyboard sucks

[fab]

On 11/3/2019 at 2:09 AM, Guest 爱的小妹 said:

不行，没有吸大屌的伴侣，我会死的

 

有性无爱

有爱无性

 

请选择

[Guest Mary]

anymore advice? I haven't been touched for 6 months already.