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Gaydar - How Good Are You at telling if someone is Gay? + How To Develop It? + What Are The Signals? (Compiled)


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http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-if-Your-Guy-Friend-Is-Gay

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  1. Get some alone time
    • Set aside some quality time for the two of you to talk. This is a very private matter and you don't want to put him in an awkward position in front of other people. You should also work your way up to this serious conversation by talking about other deep matters first. It's important to make him feel comfortable and set the expectation that you two can share deep, personal feelings with each other.
  2. Show him you're okay with your friends being gay
    • Subtly bring up subjects that show him that you're okay with your friends being gay and that he doesn't need to hide his nature around you. You can talk about another friend that is gay or even just about someone hypothetically coming out if you don't know someone who's gay.
  3. Talk about other friends coming out
    • You can also talk about the experience that other people had with coming out. Show him that you're concerned that those same negative effects might plague him. This can show him that you're ready to be a support network if he needs one.
  4. Give him the opportunity to tell you
    • Now that you've set the precedent and shown him that you are someone safe and accepting to talk to, give him the time and opportunity to tell you. He might now tell you in that conversation. He might not even tell you that week. But if he is gay, he will probably tell you once he's comfortable and feels like he really trusts you.
Edited by winking.rabbit
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I feel like people are still living in 2000 by wondering if anyone is gay or straight. We should be educated enough now to be able to ask if someone's into boys or girls without feeling like it's the most disgusting and rude thing to ask. More so if you're already close enough to sleep on the same bed enough or to touch each other appropriately even if it's just joking around. Unless you're asking in a disgusted tone "are you GAYY??!!", I don't think it's that difficult to ask if someone is into guys or girls.

 

In this case, maybe he's bisexual since he already has a gf. Just ask if he's bisexual. Or make a statement saying "so I see you're also into guys" with an honest smile.

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Just ask straight if he is interested in you. You  are letting him touch you in those spots. It is really obvious  you like him. If me i would never let any one  touch me without my consent. I probably punch him/her or kick him/her. Most to most you need set the record straight his actions is confusing you. If all else fails just said you got a date with a guy . Be nonchalant about it. If he avoids you after that he is probably not worth your friendship or your time.

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18 hours ago, doncoin said:

Seriously. The definite way to tell if he is a gay is that if his farts stink. If his farts come out smelling like roses, then he is definitely a straight guy. :twisted: So take a deep whiff and you will know for sure. 

Y doncoin? U sure? Or kidding?

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Guest 72%dark
On 26/10/2016 at 4:23 PM, Guest Confused said:

Recently I got to know a friend a bit more. He says he has a girlfriend, but he likes to jokingly do things like touch my thigh, rub my crotch, spoon me in bed etc. I can't really tell if he's into me or really just joking around. How do you tell if someone is a plu?

 

The question to ask yourself first is why you want to know. If it's because you like him and want to know whether the feelings are mutual, then instead of asking whether he's gay or bi or whatever, ask him why he's always touching you etc, and whether it's because he's interested in you (or making out with you).

 

The reason is that the "Are you gay?" question can feel threatening to some, as it touches on someone's identity and so on. For someone who has yet to come to terms with their sexual orientation, or is still struggling with it, facing the question can be scary and can cause them to back away. 

 

The "Do you like me?" question only touches on the person's sexual orientation implicitly, and it feels more innocuous because it appears to be a question about the questioner as much as it is about the answerer. It's also a way of hinting at your own sexual orientation, in case that isn't already explicit, and at your possible interest, thereby opening a door.

 

 

(By the way, just to relate a similar personal experience. When I was in secondary school I had a classmate who liked to engage in similar horseplay. For a term or two we were arranged to sit next to each other, and sometimes in class during lessons he would playfully grip and massage my upper thigh with his hand under the desk, or wriggle his hand up my shorts trying to get to my crotch, and he would make casual remarks of a sexual nature. I began to think that he might be gay and trying to get it on with me, and the horseplay certainly aroused me a lot. So, one day after school, when we happened to take the MRT home together, I casually asked him if he was gay, and he flatly denied it. I thought perhaps he was just saying that. So, undaunted, some time later on another occasion, when we were at another classmate’s house after school playing platform games, I tried to seduce him by doing back to him some of the things he did to me before, touching him and such. He never once brushed my hands off. So later, I casually asked him if he wanted to go back to my place, knowing that no one would be at home in the afternoon and hoping I could therefore have sex with him. But he declined, and moreover didn't appear at all keen about the suggestion.

We lost touch after we left the school and I didn't see him for years. Then not too long ago I bumped into him at a former classmate's function, and discovered that he was now married. Of course, being married to a woman is no guarantee that a guy is truly straight deep down, especially if the guy in question is an active church-goer. So the question of whether he's gay or not is still open in theory... but in practice it's long been irrelevant anyway. Asking him outright whether he was gay or not certainly didn't shed any light.)

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

I wish I could tell if a guy is gay at first glance, but I am usually too hesitant to try to make a move, and I seem to guess wrong whenever I do muster up enough courage to make a move. Sunday morning for example, I was walking past McDonald's in Chinatown, and there was a very cute guy eating alone by the window. I felt he was looking at me, and as I walked past the window, he seemed to turn his head to keep checking me out. Then an old auntie appeared in my line of sight and I self-consciously focused my gaze forward again. I began to wonder whether he liked me, or maybe happened to be a straight guy who thought I looked familiar, or perhaps was a money boy. The idea to go back and eat something there and sit next to him crossed my mind, but I hate McDonald's food, and I also kept thinking about the risks of him either not being actually interested or else being a money boy. Later on Sunday evening, as related in the Keybox thread, I spotted three young guys and an uncle type at the traffic light near that sauna and kind of exchanged glances with the youngest looking of the bunch. I thought he might like me but I couldn't do anything as he was with his friends. They walked ahead of me, and as they passed Keybox, the uncle type told them what the location was, although they kept walking to the end of the block, and then turned towards Chinatown while I continued on to Boat Quay. Another missed opportunity.

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  • 10 months later...

He already rub your crotch so he got no right to stop you from rubbing his lol. If you like him just get comfortable touching him around. After both of you feel the closeness of intimacy of feeling each other out , things of continue having fun or going deeper into a relationship is easier to talk about. The answer will reveal by itself without you even asking.

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  • 2 months later...
  • 4 months later...
On 11/26/2016 at 1:33 PM, Guest passerby said:

The hotter and handsomer you  are, the easier you can tell if someone is bi or gay. 

 

On 1/5/2018 at 12:37 AM, Guest Bruce said:

  Totally agree

 

Well, I don't totally agree to both guests (why am I replying lol). Anyway, that could be one of the factors but not 100%. I do have straight muscular and handsome friends, but straight and married. Some are in the fitness line, even :) . But they are straight.

Will you be my valentine's? :D

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I’m no expert but I think it is somewhat possible to tell from that extra split second they hold their gaze on you. But because I’m always so conscious about that, I tend to keep my eyes to myself when I’m out so that other guys (gay or straight) won’t think I’m checking them out! :ph34r:

 

The question however should not be how good your gaydar is but rather what action you will take upon identifying another gay guy. There is no point in scoring an A* for your gaydar but subsequently not doing anything when you finally spot someone you fancy! I have to admit I’m probably guilty of that too :frustrated:

 

On the point of someone taking the initiative, this only ever happened once to me at Starbucks when I was studying overseas. A guy beside me who was also waiting for his coffee “detected” me with his excellent gaydar and just as he collected his coffee, he slid across to me a piece of paper with his name and number and gave me a wink. I was quite flattered and though he wasn’t my type, I did drop him a text after that just to say Hi! :P

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Guest love to stereotype

gaydar is based on stereotypes, so if the person looks a certain way, then he is gay or have bi tendencies (which may not be true)

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  • 1 month later...
On 6/27/2016 at 10:12 PM, Guest Experience said:

Gay guys tend to consciously not look at others, will smile by themselves and when they look at you, you get their checking you out gaze - slight narrowly of eyes that are constantly but gently trained on you. Also they tend to be fit and tanned, dress in none monochromatic colours and have nice complexion and short and neatly styled hair.

 

I’m trying to convince myself that my colleague is not gay:

- looks in his 30s but is actually in his mid-40s

- quite well built, not body builder kind but definitely do sports and go to gym

- has a somewhat obsession for A&F clothing

- good skin complexion as if he does skincare regime

- not married

- when he comes over to talk to my colleague sitting next to me, he asks me bo liao stuff

- has a deep voice but pretty gentlemanly

- one time when I was quite stressed out, he gave me a pat and short shoulder massage (ok straight guys probably do this too)

- on Fridays he looks dressed like he’s headed for Taboo

 

:O

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Guest Macho
On 5/29/2018 at 10:19 PM, Guest love to stereotype said:

gaydar is based on stereotypes, so if the person looks a certain way, then he is gay or have bi tendencies (which may not be true)

That's why I'm so worried when someone placed a pack of tissues on my table and smiled at me, walked away while I was having lunch with a friend. That friend is married yet he teased me that it's a pickup gesture.

I defended myself that he's the pickup target, not me. He's so happy that he don't even argue back. ;)Straights really think that all gays are attracted to them and it's good for their straight ego.;)

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Guest Blank

The only way is through the look of the eyes. Some cute ones gives you a 'come F me face' :redface: it's not something that can be described in words just like how to explain the feeling of your first penetration? 

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2 hours ago, Guest Macho said:

That's why I'm so worried when someone placed a pack of tissues on my table and smiled at me, walked away while I was having lunch with a friend. That friend is married yet he teased me that it's a pickup gesture.

I defended myself that he's the pickup target, not me. He's so happy that he don't even argue back. ;)Straights really think that all gays are attracted to them and it's good for their straight ego.;)

 

This makes sense. Maybe my colleague is actually straight but know he's a gay magnet.

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Guest Guest
On 7/6/2018 at 7:35 PM, Guest Macho said:

That's why I'm so worried when someone placed a pack of tissues on my table and smiled at me, walked away while I was having lunch with a friend. That friend is married yet he teased me that it's a pickup gesture.

I defended myself that he's the pickup target, not me. He's so happy that he don't even argue back. ;)Straights really think that all gays are attracted to them and it's good for their straight ego.;)

Straights really think that all gays like and want to have sex with all guys on the street.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I had a crush on my colleague, he’s really a kind hearted and nice guy, cute too. Sometimes when we talk, I can feel he’s gay too, but still no way to confirm. He never had a gf, quite soft (but not sissy), once told me “i almost look like a girl”. I do observed he’s nice to almost everybody, but he ever did something so sweet n touching to me that made me feel in love with him. How should I approach him?

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12 hours ago, GreatMast said:

I had a crush on my colleague, he’s really a kind hearted and nice guy, cute too. Sometimes when we talk, I can feel he’s gay too, but still no way to confirm. He never had a gf, quite soft (but not sissy), once told me “i almost look like a girl”. I do observed he’s nice to almost everybody, but he ever did something so sweet n touching to me that made me feel in love with him. How should I approach him?

cont'e to chat w him and u will be able to sense it one day

i m more concerned, u almost looked like a girl? your mannerisms i guessed

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very feminine, not feminist (diff meaning)

ok, i get u, if he is the type u liked , pls be bold, it is fine to be open and share your tots, if he is not a gay, so b it

We r living in which era, with some laws to be repeal soon 

Youths the more must be daring

n u too must be less stereotypical

eg as a gay i have never stepped into a gay bar, like taboo or such venues in my whole life (and i m not a youngster) 
so a gay may not do certain things or may not exactly know how does Dressing for going to taboo required

a Gay may grown up in a totally straight env

and we must be scientific 

(ie if  u have a qn, or doubt, ask directly at the horsemouth, pointless to guess, ask a qn is NOT gonna ruin everything, guessing is not healthy)

 

 

 

read the latest article:

Tommy koh, ambassador at large of mfa said tt
Singapore Court of Appeal should overturn a 2014 decision and declare Section 377A to be unconstitutional.
In making his argument, he also elaborated on the difference between a sin and a crime....

"Singapore is part of the minority mainly because it inherited from the British a penal code which criminalises sodomy. For a country which embraces science and technology, it is surprising that, on this one aspect, the law has not been updated, in the light of the scientific evidence," he wrote in The Straits Times.

 

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35 minutes ago, -Ignored- said:

very feminine, not feminist (diff meaning)

ok, i get u, if he is the type u liked , pls be bold, it is fine to be open and share your tots, if he is not a gay, so b it

We r living in which era, with some laws to be repeal soon 

Youths the more must be daring

n u too must be less stereotypical

eg as a gay i have never stepped into a gay bar, like taboo or such venues in my whole life (and i m not a youngster) 
so a gay may not do certain things or may not exactly know how does Dressing for going to taboo required

a Gay may grown up in a totally straight env

and we must be scientific 

(ie if  u have a qn, or doubt, ask directly at the horsemouth, pointless to guess, ask a qn is NOT gonna ruin everything, guessing is not healthy)

 

 

 

read the latest article:

Tommy koh, ambassador at large of mfa said tt
Singapore Court of Appeal should overturn a 2014 decision and declare Section 377A to be unconstitutional.
In making his argument, he also elaborated on the difference between a sin and a crime....

"Singapore is part of the minority mainly because it inherited from the British a penal code which criminalises sodomy. For a country which embraces science and technology, it is surprising that, on this one aspect, the law has not been updated, in the light of the scientific evidence," he wrote in The Straits Times.

 

Thanks for ur advice... But should I still try to sound out from him whether he’s aj? Any questions I should be asking him? I don’t want to come out to him too abruptly as it may be awkward when we meet next time as colleagues. :(

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it all depends on how close u r to him and are there some topics which are a taboo?

 

assuming u r very close

If he dressed up so nice, erm where r u goin har tonite?
he surely will say :( if he s daring) , gay club/sauna, lol

If not, the very next possible ans, he is NOT going anywhere, he just luv to dress up like a female or peacock

then this is the best time, to ride on his ans

Huh, not going anyway? 

then go pathor (date) w me (and u shall see his response )
(u can choose to beat around the bush and the person can bring u merry go round too, u must have gotten some confidence of an answer before u decided to "approach and ask", will u go to your pet dog or a cow and asked whether it can sing ktv or speak russian language, obviously u wont cos u KNOW the ans.......but in a cubicle toilet, u heard someone seemed to be speaking jp language, upon washing your hand at the basin, u immed dare to ask the person in the cubicle, oh WOW, u speak jp well, cos no1 else is in the toilet except him)

to make gd conversation is an Art, i cannot be teaching, cos i  am not u and i m not him

前怕狼后怕虎的 瞻前又顾后 思虑万遍仍无行动, then stop typing here
Go and ask God and say some prayers is MORE efficient

 


regd your next qn,
Do u like it if your bro or family or boss ask u Hi! are u gay, is that why u dont marry and u tend to rove your eyes looking at males esp at their budge or buttocks?
If u dont like being qn, then u have NO rights to qn another human (be it gays or les) whether is he gay or is he a trans

u shdnt be treating another human being this way if u yourself cannot accept such qns

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  • G_M unlocked this topic
  • G_M unlocked and unlocked this topic
  • 1 month later...

It could be gifts for your gay frens too, this look cute: the "American Apparel Cheeky Printed Fine Jersey T-Shirt"


i agree happy socks looked gay, i wonder how many of u got a pair? the socks are available NOW everywhere , goodness, it is loud and spell Gayish 
i think many have such a design just like "Trinity Collective Board Shorts" (glad that i didnt get one of such)
I have boots (nt army ones) but not those listed:

https://www.askmen.com/style/fashion_trends/best-gay-pride-collections.html?fbclid=IwAR3urrMlTwGcQjoTTj4-eQoSIjgphts8zEkc3ed3B81FQSQMmehCXGlRFAU

 

Edited by lovehandle
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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest confusedcat

I recently met a guy through an event. 

I found him to be quite cute, but then again, in those few hours of interaction I didn't think that much actually. 

Just that honestly I found his mannerisms a little suggestive e.g. he touched me a couple of times in a kinda flirtatious way. 

 

Two days after the event he messaged me out of the blue to share with me a video of the event. 

We didn't officially exchange contacts, and he actually managed to retrieve my number from the group chat we're both in. 

We have been chatting since then, and recently, we went out 1-to-1 after we began talking about getting drinks and I asked him out. 

 

We had lunch at a cafe, before window shopping and walking and just talking for a long time. 

We eventually came to a touristy place to just sit and look at tourists, before grabbing dinner. 

Throughout the day, we kinda flirted a bit here and there, also with some little actions lol e.g. grabbing each other's shoulder and poking the waist. 

(eek so cringy as I'm typing this)

 

I would like to gauge if he's gay, because that kinda determines how I should continue interacting with him. 

I mean if he's straight I'm equally cool to make friends, but I need to know that so I don't scare him away. 

So how can I test if he's gay? 

Also, recently our conversation is kinda dying. Should I revive and sustain the conversation, or just let it be for a while? 

 

Thank you guys in advance for your tips! :)

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1 hour ago, Guest confusedcat said:

I recently met a guy through an event. 

I found him to be quite cute, but then again, in those few hours of interaction I didn't think that much actually. 

Just that honestly I found his mannerisms a little suggestive e.g. he touched me a couple of times in a kinda flirtatious way. 

 

Two days after the event he messaged me out of the blue to share with me a video of the event. 

We didn't officially exchange contacts, and he actually managed to retrieve my number from the group chat we're both in. 

We have been chatting since then, and recently, we went out 1-to-1 after we began talking about getting drinks and I asked him out. 

 

We had lunch at a cafe, before window shopping and walking and just talking for a long time. 

We eventually came to a touristy place to just sit and look at tourists, before grabbing dinner. 

Throughout the day, we kinda flirted a bit here and there, also with some little actions lol e.g. grabbing each other's shoulder and poking the waist. 

(eek so cringy as I'm typing this)

 

I would like to gauge if he's gay, because that kinda determines how I should continue interacting with him. 

I mean if he's straight I'm equally cool to make friends, but I need to know that so I don't scare him away. 

So how can I test if he's gay? 

Also, recently our conversation is kinda dying. Should I revive and sustain the conversation, or just let it be for a while? 

 

Thank you guys in advance for your tips! :)

Asked him if he is going pinkdot?

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 months later...
Guest Try Try

its been  months, we meet only 1 time,  but he remembers my name . gaydar hes one of us. how to check it out. ?

I went thru another colleague to get his contact...I got it...what next ?

 

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If u r a top, reveal half pole.

 

If u r a btm, show ass crack.

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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1 hour ago, fab said:

If u r a top, reveal half pole.

 

If u r a btm, show ass crack.

What a bad idea....

 

I think you should be able to tell if he is gay and fancy you. I had this colleague who I kind of knew he was gay. We used to hang out with other colleagues but then he kept asking me out, just two of us. I kind of knew it was about that and I kind of rejected few times. Then he sent me a long text expressing his feeling for me. I just kind of laughed it off and we’re still good and sometimes just both of us hang out together. I’ll say start by random talks at pantry or somewhere in the office then from there you see how it goes. Life is short so hurry up, although I would not make any action unless I am really certain.

 

Good luck.

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Guest catcher

Try not to fish for personal info too blatantly. Some people are by nature more reserved, value their privacy, or just shy. Especially when it comes to sensitive topics like sexual orientation, which not everyone is comfortable discussing. Or the person might still be grappling with the issue himself. If your object of interest happens to be like that, and you come across as being too prying, you’ll get his guard up and chase him away rather than attract him. 

 

Instead, you can get him comfortable with you by talking about neutral stuff first. Find some common ground, like work (since you are colleagues); or make some other light small talk (the latest food fads, currently trending entertainment, etc).

 

Then subtly reveal your inclinations and interests, for example by commenting casually about some hot guys at the gym you ‘admire’, and complimenting your object of interest on some relevant traits of his. If he’s not straight and clueless, he should start catching the drift at some point and can choose to respond accordingly when you then invite him to get a drink together one day after work, just the two of you. 

 

Just remember one thing, even if he does turn out to be gay, it doesn’t mean he’ll be interested in you. So for your own sake, just keep your expectations minimal. If things go well, bonus; if not, you can move on with minimum heartache. 

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  • G_M changed the title to Gaydar - How Good Are You at telling if someone is Gay? + How To Develop It? + What Are The Signals? (Compiled)
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