worldangel Posted September 9, 2020 Report Share Posted September 9, 2020 Joke: Rest In Peace When her recently deceased husband’s will was read, a widow learned he had left the greater part of his fortune to another woman. Furious, she raised to change the inscription on her spouse’s tombstone. “Sorry, lady,” said the stonecutter. “I inscribed “Rest in peace” on your orders. I can’t change it now.” “Very well,” she said grimly. “Just add ‘Until We Meet Again.’” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2020 Report Share Posted September 9, 2020 Joke: It'd Be Nice For Once This man was participating at the Olympics. He walks in a store and finds Olympics condoms, they come in gold, silver and bronze. He buys some and brings them back to his wife that night. "Honey," the man says, "I bought some Olympic condoms today and I thought we'd try one tonight." So that night the woman asks, "So what colour are you wearing?" He replies "Gold, of course!" She says, "Oh honey, can't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for once." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2020 Report Share Posted September 10, 2020 Joke: Doesn't It Bother You? An old couple walks into the bar, and the husband goes over and starts flirting with some young women. And the bartender ways to the wife, “Doesn’t it bother you that your husband is always making passes at the younger women around here?” “No, no, not really,” the wife says. “I mean, dogs chase cars, but that doesn’t mean they know how to drive.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2020 Report Share Posted September 10, 2020 Joke: Complete and Utter Exhaustion A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 11, 2020 Report Share Posted September 11, 2020 Joke: A Purple Heart On Denis had been a soldier at war for more than three years, during which he had been in many battles and won many decorations. He was finally discharged from service and returned home to a wife and son whom he hadn’t seen in almost four years. As he was walking up the path to his house, his young son spotted him and yelled, “Mommy, Mommy, here comes Daddy, and he’s got a purple heart on!” The mother replied, “I don’t give a damn what color it is! Let him in, and you go play at the Jones’ for a couple of hours!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 11, 2020 Report Share Posted September 11, 2020 Joke: So, Would I The prudish old maid found herself seated next to a classy playboy at a formal affair. After a little, rather icy conversation, the lady attempted to dismiss the fellow with, “It’s quite obvious that we do not agree on a single, solitary thing.” The playboy smiled. “Oh, I don’t think that’s quite true, madam,” he said. “If you were to enter a bedroom in which there were two beds, and if, madam, there were a woman in one and a man in the other, in which bed would you sleep?" “Well,” the lady huffed indignantly, “with the woman, of course.” “You see, we agree,” the playboy said, laughing. “So would I.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2020 Report Share Posted September 13, 2020 Joke: An Hour of Pleasure The Principal of an exclusive girls’ school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. “We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation, ask yourselves just one question... Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?” A girl in the back of the class raises her hand and says, "Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2020 Report Share Posted September 13, 2020 Joke: He Took Me With Him Sally says to her friend, “My husband is so absentminded. Yesterday we were making love on the couch when the doorbell rang, and he got up and answered it.” Her friend says, “What is so absentminded about that?” Sally replies, “He took me with him.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2020 Report Share Posted September 13, 2020 Joke: Can Girls Have Babies? Little Johnny runs into his house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," says his mom, "Of course not." Little Johnny runs back outside, and his mom hears him yell to his friend, "It's OK, we can keep playing!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2020 Report Share Posted September 13, 2020 Joke: Expected Salary A blonde is filling up an application form for a job. She supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address, etc. Then she comes to column on "Salary Expected". She is not sure of the question. After much thought, she writes "Yes". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2020 Report Share Posted September 13, 2020 Joke: Never Have to Work Again A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet. When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him 3 wishes. “I’d love an ice-cold beer right now," he asked the genie. Poof! A beer appeared. Next, the man said, "I wish to be on an island surrounded by beautiful women." Poof! He was on an island with gorgeous women fawning all over him. For his final wish, “I wish I never had to work again!" Poof! He was back at his desk in the government office. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 14, 2020 Report Share Posted September 14, 2020 Joke: Guilty On the Coat A man is on trial for stealing an overcoat. The judge went straight to the point. "Did you steal this man's overcoat?" he demanded. "No sir," the defendant replied, with a grin. "I was just playing joke on him." "And where did you take the coat?" asked the judge. "I removed it from the coat rack in the restaurant and carried it home with me." "Guilty," snapped the judge. "Guilty! Guilty of what?" asked the defendant. "Guilty of carrying a joke too far!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 14, 2020 Report Share Posted September 14, 2020 Joke: Stealing Art Successfully Thief had successfully entered the art museum on the second floor, where lesser known artists are displayed. After previewing the art, he selected a piece to take. As he was making his getaway, one of the guards came up from behind, snatched the picture from under the thief's arms and slammed it down over his head. "Now," said the guard, "don't you go and tell the judge that I framed you!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 14, 2020 Report Share Posted September 14, 2020 Joke: Where Have You Been? My boss came to me at lunch, "Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to find you all morning!" I shrugged and said, "Good employees are hard to find!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 15, 2020 Report Share Posted September 15, 2020 Joke: A Great Solution for Insomnia "I'm suffering dreadfully from insomnia. I've tried all sorts of remedies, but I can find nothing that will send me to sleep." "Why don't you try talking to yourself?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 15, 2020 Report Share Posted September 15, 2020 Joke: Granddaughter's Super Power My wife said that my granddaughter has me wrapped around her little finger. I said, "That's not true. I said 'no' to her just yesterday." "What did she ask you?" "She asked me if there was anything I wouldn't give her." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 15, 2020 Report Share Posted September 15, 2020 Joke: Posters on the Wall A group of elementary school students were on a field trip to the local police station. Several of the children were fascinated by the wanted posters on the wall. Little Johnny raised his hand and asked the police officer giving them the tour who the people on the wall were. "Those are pictures of criminals we are looking for," answered the policeman. "We call those wanted posters." Little Johnny looked puzzled. He raised his hand back up into the air. "Well," he wondered, "why didn't you just keep them when you took their pictures?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 16, 2020 Report Share Posted September 16, 2020 Joke: Just Checking In Me (texting): Are we still on for today? Reply Received: You don’t have to text me this every morning! As your boss, trust me when I say, WE ARE "ON" FOR WORK EVERYDAY, MON - FRI! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 16, 2020 Report Share Posted September 16, 2020 Joke: Steak and Beer for A Quarter A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 10 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays. After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and a steak. The barman charges him 25 cents, 10 for the beer and 15 for the food. After finishing his food and drink, he calls the barman over and says, "Mate, that was the best steak I've ever had. I want to talk to the manager and thank him." "No problem," says the barman. "He's upstairs with my wife." "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" asks the man. "Probably the same thing I'm doing to his business down here!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 17, 2020 Report Share Posted September 17, 2020 (edited) On 9/16/2020 at 11:34 PM, worldangel said: Joke: Exact Weight Please The fisherman got such a reputation for stretching the truth that he bought a pair of scales and insisted on weighing every fish he caught, in the presence of witnesses. One day a doctor borrowed the fisherman's scales to weigh a new born baby. The baby weighed 40 pounds. Edited September 17, 2020 by worldangel Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 17, 2020 Report Share Posted September 17, 2020 Joke: Watch that Sleeve A man in a bar slipped off his jacket and slung it over the back of his chair. One of the sleeves hit a woman sitting behind him. “Watch what you are doing with that sleeve,” she complained. “It’s all right,” the man said. “There’s no ‘arm in it.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 17, 2020 Report Share Posted September 17, 2020 Joke: Three Wishes Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes! Me: I wish for a world without lawyers. Genie: Done! You have no more wishes. Me: But you said three? Genie: Well go ahead, sue me. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 17, 2020 Report Share Posted September 17, 2020 Joke: Hits It Every Time At a local gun show two guys were bragging about their wife's abilities. "My wife's a fine shot. She can hit a dollar every time." "That's nothing. My wife goes through my trousers and never misses a dime." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 17, 2020 Report Share Posted September 17, 2020 Joke: What Day Is It? Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I'll bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office. At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1:00 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favourite chocolates was delivered. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 18, 2020 Report Share Posted September 18, 2020 Joke: Rich Relations I decided to do research on my ancestry and went to a genealogy professional. First question: "Have you any poor relations?" "Not any that I know." Second question: "Have you any rich relations?" "Not any that know me." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 18, 2020 Report Share Posted September 18, 2020 Joke: Can I Leave A Message A Man on phone: Hello, young man, could I speak to your mother or father? Little Johnny: My parents aren’t home. Man on phone: Could I leave them a message? Little Johnny: Sorry, we don’t have an answering machine. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 19, 2020 Report Share Posted September 19, 2020 Joke: Watch that Sleeve A man in a bar slipped off his jacket and slung it over the back of his chair. One of the sleeves hit a woman sitting behind him. “Watch what you are doing with that sleeve,” she complained. “It’s all right,” the man said. “There’s no ‘arm in it.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 19, 2020 Report Share Posted September 19, 2020 Joke: Did I Leave My Panties Here? After returning home from an examination, the young woman phoned her gyneacology’s and asked, “Doctor, would you see if by chance I left my panties in your office?” He looked in the examining room, returned to the phone, and told her, “I’m afraid they are not here.” “Sorry to trouble you, doctor,” she said. “I’ll try my dentist.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 20, 2020 Report Share Posted September 20, 2020 Joke: Every Time I Breathe A Lady on a commuter train is reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turns to the man next to her and asks, “Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?” “Really,” he says. “Have you tried a good mouthwash?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 20, 2020 Report Share Posted September 20, 2020 Joke: Take What I Owe You A middle-aged woman took a taxi home, but when she arrived at her destination she discovered that she had no money. She lifted up her dress, dropped her panties, and shouted to the cabbie, “How’s about taking out what I owe you in trade?” The cabbie looked and said, “Don’t you have anything smaller?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 21, 2020 Report Share Posted September 21, 2020 Joke: What Sort of Girl Old business man to a beautiful young model, "Would you consider sleeping with me for a million dollars?" “Hmmm. Yes, I think I would," she says. "Well," he says, "how about five dollars then?" “How dare you! What sort of girl do you think I am?” "Honey, we’ve already established that. Now we are just fixing on the price." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 21, 2020 Report Share Posted September 21, 2020 Joke: I Measured It A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him, "Did you actually see the accident?" The witness: "Yes, sir." The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?" The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches." The lawyer (thinking he'd trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?" The witness: "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me that question." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 22, 2020 Report Share Posted September 22, 2020 Joke: Hitchhiker A man is driving across the state to see his wife when he sees a Native hitchhiker on the side of the road. Thinking he could do with some company, he pulls over and lets the man in, offering him a ride home. The Native man is grateful, but our driver notices that he keeps eyeing the large bottle of gin on the floor of the passenger seat. Not wanting the guy to get any ideas, he says “Ah, I got that bottle for my wife.” The Native man says nothing for a few moments, then softly replies “Good trade.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 22, 2020 Report Share Posted September 22, 2020 Joke: Call to hotel’s manager A husband calls up a hotel’s manager from his room.. Husband: Please come fast, I was having an argument with my wife and she says she’s gonna jump out of the window. Manager: Sir, I am sorry I can’t help you , this seems to be a personal issue. Husband: You asshole, this is a maintenance issue. The window isn’t opening. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 23, 2020 Report Share Posted September 23, 2020 Joke: Training 3 blond women A police officer was tasked to train three blonde women to become detectives. He showed them a picture of a man for five seconds before asking the first blonde how she would recognize him in the streets. “Oh, that’s easy! He only has one eye!” The police officer exclaimed: “Are you stupid? He doesn’t have one eye, the picture is the profile of the man!” Clearly furious by that answer, he asked the second blonde the same question. “Oh, well… I’d recognize him because he only has one ear”. The police officer was damn furious and let out a loud sigh before asking the third blonde, and he urged her to at least think through the answer before answering. “I’d recognize him because he wears contact lenses”, she said. The police officer, somewhat clearly caught off guard by that answer was curious to see if she was right or not. So, she called the photographer from the model agency from where the picture was obtained and asked the photographer for the model’s phone number. Surely enough, he called the model and the model confirmed that he was wearing contact lenses when the picture was taken. “That’s amazing!”, he told the third blonde. “How in the world did you know that he was wearing contact lenses?” “Well,” said the third blonde, “he can’t wear glasses since he only has one eye and one ear”. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 23, 2020 Report Share Posted September 23, 2020 Joke: Marine need to relax A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. “Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?” “Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.” The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.” “Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.” The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.” The Marine Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally, the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?” “1955, ma’am.” “Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955.” The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 21:30 now.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 23, 2020 Report Share Posted September 23, 2020 Joke: Parrot on a perch At the pet shop, a man spots a parrot without any feet. The man leans in, “Hey buddy, how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?” “I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a hook.” “Wow,” says the guy. “I can’t believe you’re so smart! I’m taking you home.” Weeks go by, and the parrot not only understands everything the man says, but he gives good advice. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, “Hey, I don’t know if I should tell you this or not, but it’s about your wife and the mailman.” “What happened?” asks the guy. “Well,” the parrot says, “when the mailman came to the door today, your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth.” “What happened then?” asks the guy. “Then, the mailman came into the house and lifted up your wife’s nightgown,” reports the parrot. “Oh no!” the guy says. “Then what?” “I don’t know,” says the parrot. “I got a hard-on and fell off my perch.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 23, 2020 Report Share Posted September 23, 2020 Joke: Introduce physiological notions An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students. She asks her class: Whoever feels stupid at times stand up! After a while, little Johnny stands up, grudgingly. The teacher asks: So, Johnny, you feel stupid from time to time? Little Johnny replies: No ma’m, it’s just painful to see you standing all alone. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 23, 2020 Report Share Posted September 23, 2020 Joke: At the hotel An old married couple is traveling by car. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room at a hotel. But they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked of the hotel out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it’s a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the ‘standard rate’. He insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us to use. “But we didn’t use them,” the husband said. “Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the Manager. The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from New York, Hollywood, and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says. “But we didn’t go to any of those shows,” the husband said. “Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replied. No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, “But we didn’t use it!” The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn’t have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check. She did and gave it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. “But ma’am, this is made out for only $50.00.” “That’s correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied. “But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager. “Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 24, 2020 Report Share Posted September 24, 2020 Joke: Worst Day of My Life Two bats are hanging upside down in a cave. The first bat asks the second, “Do you remember the worst day of your life?” “I sure do," began the second bat. "It was the day I had diarrhea.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 24, 2020 Report Share Posted September 24, 2020 Joke: Being A Grandfather A loving couple had their first grandchild and was visibly excited. So, the wife asks her husband, "Honey, how does it feel being a grandfather?" "Oh, that part’s okay," he said, "but I'm not so sure about going to bed with a grandmother." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 24, 2020 Report Share Posted September 24, 2020 Joke: Free Meat It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally, he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow." "I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face." When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 24, 2020 Report Share Posted September 24, 2020 Joke: Roman Numerals One of my college friends asked a group of us for advice on organizing his final report for the year. "Why don't you use Roman numerals to head the different sections?" another friend suggested. "I thought of that," he replied. "But my keyboard doesn't have Roman numerals on it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 24, 2020 Report Share Posted September 24, 2020 Joke: Audited by IRS A man gets audited by the IRS and the auditor is not surprised when he arrives with his lawyer. As the men sit down the lawyer says, “Look, the reason my client is in this situation is because he is a terrible gambler.” “I am not a terrible gambler,” the man replies. “I will make a bet right now. I bet you $1,000 that I can bite my own eye.” he says to the auditor. “You can’t bite your own eye,” the auditor replies. “I’ll take your bet.” The man reaches up, removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor is in shock, he just bet this man $1,000 in front of a lawyer. The man however is generous. “Ok, that wasn’t really fair. You didn’t know that I had a glass eye. So, for double or nothing I bet you I can bite my other eye.” The auditor is skeptical, but after careful examination determines that there is no way he has two glass eyes. “Fine, double or nothing, you cannot bite your other eye.” The man reaches into his mouth and pulls out his false teeth and carefully makes them bite down on his other eye. The auditor is completely taken aback. How could he possibly be so dumb as to take that bet. “Ok,” the man says again. “You didn’t know I had dentures, so I will give you one last chance. Double or nothing, I bet you I can stand on this side of your desk and piss over your desk and into that wastebasket without getting a single drop on your desk.” The auditor backs up and looks at the distance. There is no way the man could physically maintain a stream that could reach that distance. It had to be impossible. “I have no choice,” the auditor says. “I’ll take the bet.” The man stands up, walks to the side of the desk and proceeds to piss all over the auditor’s desk, not a single drop reaching the wastebasket. The auditor leaps from his seat and cheers his victory. The lawyer however, has his face in his hands, audibly groaning. “Wait,” the auditor says. “Why are you so upset?” “Before we came in, he bet me $20,000 he could walk in here, piss all over your desk and you would be happy about it.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 25, 2020 Report Share Posted September 25, 2020 Joke: Do You Have Cable? I met this girl in a bar, and one thing lead to another. I said, "Let's go back to my place." She said, "Oh, do you have cable?" I said, "No, but I have some old ropes that should hold just fine." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 25, 2020 Report Share Posted September 25, 2020 Joke: Mating Season A man was at a zoo and noticed one of the Orangutans dressing up and combing his hair. The man asked the Orangutan, “Why are you getting all dressed up?” The Orangutan answered, “Mating season starts today.” “Orangutans have a mating season?” “Don't humans have a mating season?” The lonely man responded, “Is anytime I can get it a season?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 25, 2020 Report Share Posted September 25, 2020 Joke: Getting Rid of the Girdle One morning while his wife was making breakfast, a man walked up to her and gave her a healthy pinch on her butt. He said to her, “If you firmed up your butt we could get rid of your girdle.” The wife was angry but said nothing. The next morning her husband pinched her breast and said, “If you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra.” The wife grabbed her husband by the crotch and replied, “And if you firmed this up we could get rid of the mailman, the gardener, the pool man, and your brother!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 25, 2020 Report Share Posted September 25, 2020 Joke: The teacher asked little Johnny if …. The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three." "Four," answers the boy. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," says lil' Johnny Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 25, 2020 Report Share Posted September 25, 2020 Joke: Like Father, Like Daughter Dorothy, the little daughter of a tire salesman, had seen triplets for the first time. "Oh mother," she cried out upon returning home, "what do you think I saw today?" "I can't imagine, dear, what?" "A lady had twins, and a spare!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 25, 2020 Report Share Posted September 25, 2020 Joke: A bit apprehensive... As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. "Scared, Lieutenant?", I asked. He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive." I asked, "What's the difference?" He replied, "That means I'm scared with a university education." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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