worldangel Posted July 25, 2023 Report Share Posted July 25, 2023 Joke: Heavy Breathing The only reason I’d take up jogging again… … is so I could hear heavy breathing again! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 25, 2023 Report Share Posted July 25, 2023 Joke: The Pool Ball Incident A guy walks into a bar with a pet monkey. The monkey begins running around and jumps onto a pool table and swallows one of the pool balls whole. The bartender/owner sees this just as it is happening. Furious he makes the man and his monkey leave. A few weeks later, the same man and his monkey walk into the same bar. The bartender, not paying attention as he is talking with one of his regulars, sees the monkey just as it jumps onto the bar, takes a peanut out of the bowl, inserts it into its behind, pulls it back out, then eats it. The bartender, angry yet curious, again tells the man to leave. As the man is leaving, the bartender asks the man, "Hey buddy, why did your monkey do that with the peanut?" The man replied, "Well, ever since he passed that pool ball, he measures everything before he eats it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 25, 2023 Report Share Posted July 25, 2023 Joke: Cash or Credit? Three guys went to a striptease joint. The young lady on stage, wearing only thongs and a smile came up to the first guy and performed her dance for him. He took out $100.00 and slapped it on her right cheek. It stuck. Then she proceeded to the second guy. She did her same dance and the guy took out $100.00 and slapped it on her left cheek. It stuck. She then went to the third guy and performed her dance. The third guy pulled out his wallet, only to realize that he did not have any cash. So he took his debt card and swiped it between her cheeks and took the $200.00. SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 26, 2023 Report Share Posted July 26, 2023 Joke: My Husband Wanted Me To Ask Catherine, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..." "I know, I know," the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy." "No, that's not it," Catherine confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn?" SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 26, 2023 Report Share Posted July 26, 2023 Joke: It Was the Fig Leaf We all know that man was basically damned after eating the forbidden fruit. What really condemned man to a life of hell was when Eve asked Adam the one question that all married men dread, "Honey, does this fig leaf make me look fat?" SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 26, 2023 Report Share Posted July 26, 2023 Joke: I Lie In Stinky Vapor Here I lie in stinky vapour, Because some bastard stole the toilet paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 26, 2023 Report Share Posted July 26, 2023 Joke: Going Straight to Hell Managing to pull himself onto the bus early one morning, the drunk stumbled over passengers, knocked over bags and briefcases, and finally fell into a seat beside a prim old woman. He slumped over her, and she pushed him back. “Mister,” she said indignantly. “I hate to say it, but you are going straight to hell!” Startled, the drunk leapt to his feet. “Goodness, I’m on the wrong bus!” SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 26, 2023 Report Share Posted July 26, 2023 Joke: What Happens To the Asshole A young academic decided to do a paper on the sexual habits of housewives. She knocks on the door of this young beautiful woman and tells her what she is doing and is invited in. Her first question was how many times a week she has sex. As many as possible was the answer. "And what happens to your asshole when you orgasm?" "I really don’t know. It only happens when the pool man is here and the asshole is away playing golf." SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 26, 2023 Report Share Posted July 26, 2023 Joke: The Undressed Comedian What did the comedian say while he was undressing? Haven't you ever seen a comic strip?! SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 26, 2023 Report Share Posted July 26, 2023 Joke: Are You A Captain? Guy: Are you a Captain? Girl: No. Guy: Cause my privates are under your command! SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 26, 2023 Report Share Posted July 26, 2023 Joke: That's Cute What did the Elephant say to the naked man? "That's cute, but can it pick up peanuts?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 26, 2023 Report Share Posted July 26, 2023 Joke: Doctor, You Must Help Me At her appointment with the psychiatrist, a young woman pleads. "Doctor, you must help me. It’s gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterwards, I feel guilty and depressed for a week." “I see," nods the doctor. "And you no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter." "No, No!" exclaims the young woman. "I want you to fix it so I won’t feel guilty and depressed afterwards." SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 26, 2023 Report Share Posted July 26, 2023 Joke: What's with the Numbers? This guy goes into a bar, orders up a beer, and notices that the patrons are holding slips of paper with numbers written on them. Periodically the numbers are being called over the p.a. system. Curiously, the guy asks the bartender, "What's going on?" So the Bartender breaks it down saying, "It's simple, you order a drink you get a number. If we call your number, you get to go in the back and get laid!" The guy says, "I don't believe it, sounds like bullshit to me." Some drunk guy sitting a few stools down, interrupts, "It's not bullshit, my wife's number has been called 3 times in the last 20 minutes!" SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 27, 2023 Report Share Posted July 27, 2023 Joke: Hereditary Diarrhoea A man told the doctor that he had diarrhoea, and it was hereditary. The doctor asked, "Why do you say it's hereditary?" "Because it was in my jeans," he replied. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 27, 2023 Report Share Posted July 27, 2023 Joke: Why No Baby Planes - A mother and her young curious son were flying an Airlines from Las Vegas to Chicago. The boy sitting by the window turned to his mother and asked, “If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don’t planes have baby planes?” The mother was caught by surprise and couldn’t think of an answer so she tells her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant the same questions. The flight attendant responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me that?” The little boy said, “Yes.” “Well then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because others always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you.” SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 27, 2023 Report Share Posted July 27, 2023 Joke: Banking and Sex What do banking-business and having sex have in common? In both the cases you lose interest after withdrawal. SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 27, 2023 Report Share Posted July 27, 2023 Joke: A Couple of Stiff Ones A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking girl behind the wheel. There was a strong liquor smell all over the car. "I am going to give you a Breathalyzer test,” he said. “That will show whether or not you are under the influence of alcohol.” She blew up the balloon and the cop walked it back to the police car. After a minute or two, he returned to the girl’s car. “Well, it looks like you’ve had a couple of stiff ones,” he said. “You mean it shows that too?!?!” she asked, surprised. SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 Joke: Always Take Measures A teenage girl confessed, "Mom, I’m pregnant." "How?" huffed the mother. "What did I tell you about sex?" “That I should take measures. Well, that’s what I did! I took measures and went with the biggest." SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 Joke: Like Mother, Like Daughter What did the promiscuous mother say to her promiscuous daughter? "If you’re not in bed by 12 o'clock, then come home!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 Joke: I Would Want Silicone The science teacher stands in the front of the class and says, “Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?” Little Peter raises his hand and says, “I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porch.” The teacher nods, and then calls on little Sally, who says, “I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Maserati.” The teacher smiles, and then calls on Little Johnny. Johnny stands up and says, “I would want silicone.” “Silicone? Why silicone?” “Because my mom has two bags of the stuff and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 Joke: Love Handles “My extra winter weight is finally gone. "Now, I have spring rolls.” SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 Joke: Black Panther Video Game Why is the Black Panther video game so easy? Because you get nine lives. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 Joke: Billion Dollar Idea Billion-dollar idea... A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, "I'm just cooking!" SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 Joke: Dog Rescue My son and I were walking our small dog when he took off after a duck and jumped into the river. A nearby tourist jumped into the river to save our dog. When he'd climbed out he said, "Here is ze dog. Dry him off, keep him varm and he vill be fine.” We thanked him profusely, and my son asked him, "Are you a vet?" "VET?" he exclaimed. "I am soaking!" SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 Joke: Objects of Amusement Little Johnny is visiting an art museum with his parents. When they enter the main room, he observes a sign reading, "ART OBJECTS." Johnny then taps his father on the shoulder and asks, "If art objects, why is he letting everyone look at his paintings? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 Joke: Everything, Everywhere, All at Once "Everything, Everywhere, All at Once" is the name of an Oscar award winning movie. It also describes where my body hurts. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 Joke: 7th Place won $8.00 A little boy was sitting in the lunch room with his friend. He unwrapped his sandwich and said, “Peanut butter!” The next day, with the same little friend, opening his sandwich, he said, “Would you look at that, peanut butter again.” But he got it down. The third day, “Can you believe it. Three days in a roll, peanut butter again!” The boy’s little friend said, “Why don’t you tell your mother to stop making those peanut butter sandwiches and fix you something different?” He said, “Now, don’t you talk about my mother like that. I make these sandwiches myself.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 29, 2023 Report Share Posted July 29, 2023 Joke: In All Shapes and Sizes Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes... Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 29, 2023 Report Share Posted July 29, 2023 Joke: How Computers Get Drunk How do computers get drunk? They take screenshots! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 29, 2023 Report Share Posted July 29, 2023 Joke: A Run Home Tommy: "Oh no, it's a run home!" Suzy: "Don't you mean a home run?" Tommy: "No, I really do mean a run home. I just hit he ball through Mr. Johnson's window!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 29, 2023 Report Share Posted July 29, 2023 Joke: Two Fools Flying Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms. After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground. Lying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one moron says to the other, "I don't think much of this budgie jumping." The other moron replies, "Yeah, I'm not too keen on this paragliding either." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 29, 2023 Report Share Posted July 29, 2023 Joke: Parrot Problems A man walks into a pet store and asks for a talking bird. The owner takes him to a parrot and says, "This parrot is guaranteed to speak after a little training." The man seems sceptical but buys the bird. The next day, he calls the pet store and says, "I spent three hours trying to get this parrot to speak, but I can't get a single word out of it." The owner says, "Don't worry, sometimes their beaks are a little too long. Just file a little bit off of the tip. Just don't file too much or you could kill him." The next day the man brings the parrot back to the pet store -- dead at the bottom of the cage. The owner sees that and says, "I told you not to file too much of his beak!" And the mans says, "I didn't get a chance to file anything. He died right after I put him in the vise!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 29, 2023 Report Share Posted July 29, 2023 Joke: When You're Over 60 When you're over 60... 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation, you will likely be released first. 3. No one expects you to run--anywhere. 4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you???? 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eat supper at 4 pm. 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 29, 2023 Report Share Posted July 29, 2023 Joke: Top 5 Signs Your Travel Agent Isn't Good Top 5 Signs that you Travel Agent is not very good: Just booked your cruise to Las Vegas. He spelled Europe with a ‘Y'. Just asked, "How do you feel about cattle cars?" Picks connecting flights using the "Eeny! Miney! Mo" method. Just said, "England? Never heard of it!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 29, 2023 Report Share Posted July 29, 2023 Joke: Greg Or Ian Monday - Greg Tuesday - Ian Wednesday - Greg Thursday - Ian Friday - Greg Saturday - Ian Sunday - Greg The Gregorian Calendar yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 30, 2023 Report Share Posted July 30, 2023 Joke: Why Does A Dog Lick? Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 30, 2023 Report Share Posted July 30, 2023 Joke: Not So Loud Two friends are standing at a whorehouse door. The first one says, “I heard half these broads have the clap and all of ‘em are thieves.” The second friend says, “Not so loud, or they won’t let us in.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 30, 2023 Report Share Posted July 30, 2023 Joke: It Will Release Automatically A farmer once ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on and everything else was automatic. Soon he realized that the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn’t remove the instrument from his penis. He read the manual but didn’t find any useful information. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success. Finally, the farmer decided to call the supplier’s Customer Service Hot Line. “Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow’s udder?” “Don’t worry,” replied the customer service rep, “The machine will release automatically once its collected two gallons." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 30, 2023 Report Share Posted July 30, 2023 Joke: Doesn't It Bother You? An old couple walks into the bar, and the husband goes over and starts flirting with some young women. And the bartender ways to the wife, “Doesn’t it bother you that your husband is always making passes at the younger women around here?” “No, no, not really,” the wife says. “I mean, dogs chase cars, but that doesn’t mean they know how to drive.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 30, 2023 Report Share Posted July 30, 2023 Joke: A Purple Heart On Denis had been a soldier at war for more than three years, during which he had been in many battles and won many decorations. He was finally discharged from service and returned home to a wife and son whom he hadn’t seen in almost four years. As he was walking up the path to his house, his young son spotted him and yelled, “Mommy, Mommy, here comes Daddy, and he’s got a purple heart on!” The mother replied, “I don’t give a damn what colour it is! Let him in, and you go play at the Jones’ for a couple of hours!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 30, 2023 Report Share Posted July 30, 2023 Joke: Give Me A 68 A man at a bar picks up a girl. They go back to his place and start a bit of foreplay. But the guy stops and says, “Listen give me a 68.” Mystified the girl says, “What the fuck is a 68?” He says, “Give me a blow job and I’ll owe you one!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 31, 2023 Report Share Posted July 31, 2023 Joke: Like Going To A Restaurant Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 31, 2023 Report Share Posted July 31, 2023 Joke: Pierced Bellybuttons Why do women have their bellybuttons pierced? It's a darn good place to hang an air freshener. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 31, 2023 Report Share Posted July 31, 2023 Joke: So Would I The prudish old maid found herself seated next to a classy playboy at a formal affair. After a little, rather icy conversation, the lady attempted to dismiss the fellow with, “It’s quite obvious that we do not agree on a single, solitary thing.” The playboy smiled. “Oh, I don’t think that’s quite true, madam,” he said. “If you were to enter a bedroom in which there were two beds, and if, madam, there were a woman in one and a man in the other, in which bed would you sleep?" “Well,” the lady huffed indignantly, “with the woman, of course.” “You see, we agree,” the playboy said, laughing. “So would I.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 31, 2023 Report Share Posted July 31, 2023 Joke: An Hour of Pleasure The Principal of an exclusive girls’ school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. “We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation, ask yourselves just one question... Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?” A girl in the back of the class raises her hand and says, "Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 31, 2023 Report Share Posted July 31, 2023 Joke: Drive Her Wild Three guys are sitting in a bar having a few drinks together. One guy says, "So tell me, what do you do to drive your wife wild?" "Well," says the second guy, "After making love, I go out to the garden and pick some roses. Then I take the petals off and sprinkle them all over her body. Then I blow them off with a soft breath that drives her wild." Next guy says, "After making love, I get some baby oil and massage it gently all over her body, and that drives her wild!" Last guy says, "When me and the old lady are through, I jump out of bed and wipe my dick on the curtain. Drives her fxcking nuts!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 1, 2023 Report Share Posted August 1, 2023 Joke: Will This Help With My Sunburn? Sam is on vacation. After the first day his legs are painfully sunburned, so he goes to a doctor’s office. The doctor examines his legs and says “Try this.” He hands him a Viagra tablet. Sam says, “What will this do to help my sunburn?” The doctor replies, “Nothing, but it’ll keep the sheets off of your legs for a night.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 1, 2023 Report Share Posted August 1, 2023 Joke: Cut Out Wednesday A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests show nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse. "Every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday," she says. The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday. "I can’t," says the woman. "That’s the only night I’m home with my husband." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 1, 2023 Report Share Posted August 1, 2023 Joke: My Dad, the Scaredy Cat Two kids are arguing over whose father was the biggest scaredy cat. Tommy says, “My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bead.” Peter replies, “Yeah? Well, that’s nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 2, 2023 Report Share Posted August 2, 2023 Joke: Chemistry Class Chemistry classes were going on. The teacher asked a girl student, "What are nitrates?" The girl blushed and answered, "Night-rates are costlier than day rates, I can tell you that." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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