worldangel Posted April 23, 2023 Report Share Posted April 23, 2023 Joke: Take That Back A drunk walks into a bar, orders a drink and says to the bartender, “All lawyers are assholes!” A guy at the end of the bar says, “You better take that back!” The drunk man goes, "Why, are you a lawyer?" The man says, "No, I’m an asshole!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 23, 2023 Report Share Posted April 23, 2023 Joke: Where's the Glitter? The King and Queen were looking for a husband for their daughter. The king invited 3 men to come to the palace, so he could see if any of them were worthy of the princess. The test was to see if they would sleep with his daughter. To check if they had, he put glitter on the princess's vagina. The next day, he checked each of the men's penises. The first guy had glitter on his and the second guy had glitter on his. The third guy didn't have any glitter on his penis and when the king told him he could marry his daughter, he smiled and there was glitter on his teeth. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 23, 2023 Report Share Posted April 23, 2023 Joke: Almost Every Night A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, "So, tell me, how was it?" "Oh, it was beautiful," says the man. "The sun, the surf, we made love almost every night, we--" His friend interrupts him. "A man your age! How did you make love almost every night?" "Oh," says the man, "we almost made love on Monday, we almost made love on Tuesday..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 24, 2023 Report Share Posted April 24, 2023 Joke: Working From Home Yesterday I saw my neighbour kicking in his own door... Turns out he's a burglar who started working from home. SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 24, 2023 Report Share Posted April 24, 2023 Joke: You Matter You matter... Until you multiply yourself by the square of the speed of light. Then you energy. SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 24, 2023 Report Share Posted April 24, 2023 Joke: Put Your Hand Up A little girl was told off for wetting herself in class. "Why didn't you put your hand up", asked the teacher? "I did, but it kept running out." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 24, 2023 Report Share Posted April 24, 2023 Joke: Woman Wants vs. Man Wants What is the difference between a man and a woman? A woman wants one man to fulfill her every need, while a man wants every woman to fulfill his one need. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 24, 2023 Report Share Posted April 24, 2023 Joke: That's Not A Foot An extremely drunk man looking for a brothel stumbles into a podiatrist’s office instead and weaves over to the receptionist. Without looking up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, “Stick it through that curtain.” Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pull out his penis and sticks it through the crack in the curtain. “That’s not a foot!” screams the receptionist. “Hey lady, I didn’t know you had a minimum!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 24, 2023 Report Share Posted April 24, 2023 Joke: Just With Your Wife After a heart-transplant operation, the patient was receiving instructions from his doctor. He was placed on a strict diet, denied tobacco, and advised to get at least eighth hour’s sleep a night. Finally, the patient asked, “What about my sex life, Doc? Will it be all right for me to have intercourse?” “Just with your wife,” responded the doctor. “We don’t want you to get too excited.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 25, 2023 Report Share Posted April 25, 2023 Joke: Stop Following Me A man was walking home alone one night when he heard a "BUMP....BUMP....BUMP..." behind him. Walking faster, he looked back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him...."BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..." The man began to run toward his home, and the coffin bounced after him faster....faster...BUMP BUMP BUMP! He ran up to his door, fumbled with his keys, opened the door, rushed in, and locked it behind him. The coffin crashed through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping BUMP...BUMP...BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man. The man rushed upstairs to the bathroom and locked himself in, heart pounding. With a CRASH, the coffin broke down the door, coming slowly toward him. The man while screaming, reached for something, anything... all he can find was a box of cough drops which he hurled at the coffin. Suddenly, the coffin stopped. SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 25, 2023 Report Share Posted April 25, 2023 Joke: Turn the Stone Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds. They’ve left no tern unstoned. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 25, 2023 Report Share Posted April 25, 2023 Joke: My Bad Dude NOT want to play leap frog. My bad dude, my bad... Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 25, 2023 Report Share Posted April 25, 2023 Joke: Just a Small PTA Meeting Little Johnny: "Hey Mom, tomorrow there's a small PTA meeting at school." Mom: "A small PTA meeting?" Little Johnny: "Yeah, just you, me and the principal." SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 25, 2023 Report Share Posted April 25, 2023 Joke: Award Time The day after the Annual Academy Awards program had aired, my wife and I were riding on the the freeway, when she saw a digital highway information sign which read, "There's no Oscar given for being a lead-foot!" I quickly responded, "No, but you might get 'slapped' with a ticket!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 25, 2023 Report Share Posted April 25, 2023 Joke: She Made It There When the graveside service for his wife had just finished, there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder. The husband, a down-trodden little old man, looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 27, 2023 Report Share Posted April 27, 2023 Joke: Letter of Apology Yo Momma is so ugly... Her birth certificate is letter of apology from the condom factory! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 27, 2023 Report Share Posted April 27, 2023 Joke: The Lemon Picker The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. “Look, Miss,” said the foreman, “have you any actual experience in picking lemons?” “Well, as a matter of fact, yes!” she replied. “I’ve been divorced three times.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 27, 2023 Report Share Posted April 27, 2023 The Laxative Cure The pharmacist comes to in o the drugstore to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. He approaches the clerk and asks, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says the man came in earlier to get something for his cough. And since she could not find the cough syrup, she gave him a bottle of laxative. The horrified pharmacist shouts, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!” The clerk calmly responds, “Of course you can. Look at him, he's afraid to cough.” SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 27, 2023 Report Share Posted April 27, 2023 Joke: Alien At the Bar An alien is in a bar sitting next to this guy. Every time he takes a drink, he spins on his stool, pokes the guy next to him and goes, "Bzzz." He does this two or three times. Finally, the guy gets annoyed and tells the alien that if he doesn't quit it, he will beat him up. The alien takes a drink, spins his stool, pokes the guy and does it again. This infuriates the man, and he takes him outside and pulls down his pants and stands back aghast. "There's nothing there! So how do you people have sex?" The alien smiles, and goes, "Bzzz." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 30, 2023 Report Share Posted April 30, 2023 Joke: Peruvian Owls Peruvian owls are always hunting in pairs... It's because they're Inca hoots! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 30, 2023 Report Share Posted April 30, 2023 Joke: Distance to the Sun How far is it from the Earth to the Sun? 10 CVS receipts. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 30, 2023 Report Share Posted April 30, 2023 Computer Chess A computer once beat me at chess... But it was no match for me at kickboxing! SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 30, 2023 Report Share Posted April 30, 2023 Joke: Paying the Tab As he paid for our meal with a gift card, my husband noticed the bill was more than the card was worth, so he handed our waiter his debit card to cover the balance. "Wow, some people might have skipped out and stuck me with the difference," the waiter said. "Thank you for being so honest." Then, as he took the card, he asked, "Could I see some ID?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 1, 2023 Report Share Posted May 1, 2023 Joke: Twice the Price Television repairman: "So, what seems to be the problem with your TV?" Homeowner: "Well, it has double images. I hope the two of you can fix it." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 1, 2023 Report Share Posted May 1, 2023 Joke: Call A Professional What do you call a professional you hire to put someone down? An Insultant. SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 1, 2023 Report Share Posted May 1, 2023 Joke: Bossy Birds How many parrots does it take to screw in a lightbulb? They say “toucan do it.” SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 2, 2023 Report Share Posted May 2, 2023 Joke: Fire Hydrant Factory A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained, "You can't park anywhere near this place!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 2, 2023 Report Share Posted May 2, 2023 Joke: Chuck Norris Fact At what age did Chuck Norris lose his virginity? Trick question. Chuck Norris never loses. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 2, 2023 Report Share Posted May 2, 2023 Joke: A Clean Getaway Little Johnny's mother is making dinner when Johnny runs up to her, sobbing uncontrollably. "Mom, Mom! I just cleaned my room!" he exclaims. "Why, that's wonderful dear!" his mother replies. "But why does that make you so unhappy?" "Because I still can't find my snake!" SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 6, 2023 Report Share Posted May 6, 2023 Joke: My Career in Waiting As a college graduate, I don't intend to spend the rest of my life being a waiter. But it puts food on the table. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 6, 2023 Report Share Posted May 6, 2023 Joke: One of the Best Villains Why is Two Face one of the best villains? Because he's not half bad! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 6, 2023 Report Share Posted May 6, 2023 Joke: Maybe It's Not Incorrect “Password is incorrect.” “Password is incorrect.” “Password is incorrect.” *Clicks forgot password.* *Changes password.* “New password can’t be old password.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 7, 2023 Report Share Posted May 7, 2023 Joke: Golf or ? "Yes, well-being a Sunday, I had to toss a coin to see if I should go to church or go and play golf." "Okay, but why are you so late?" "I had to toss it 15 times!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 7, 2023 Report Share Posted May 7, 2023 Joke: Business Cards Tip: Save business cards of people you don't like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write, "Sorry" on the back and leave it on the windshield. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 7, 2023 Report Share Posted May 7, 2023 Joke: Going On My Own Little Annie: “Mommy, mommy, I’m going to the bathroom on my own!” Mommy: “Good girl! #1 or #2??” Little Annie: “If there’s a #2, it must be hiding...” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 8, 2023 Report Share Posted May 8, 2023 Joke: What Is Politics? - What is politics? Politics is a game whereby the people want to know what the candidates stand for and the candidates want to know how much the people will fall for. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 8, 2023 Report Share Posted May 8, 2023 Joke: Footloose The giddy dame decided to put her cards on the table. She snuck up to the playboy at the bar and whispered, “I’m footloose.” He looked her over carefully and said, “The rest of you can stand tighten Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 8, 2023 Report Share Posted May 8, 2023 Joke: Hearing From Our Lawyer The fence between Heaven and Hell broke. St. Peter was sent to talk to Lucifer about who’s going to fix the fence. No agreement was reach and St. Peter said, “You will be hearing from our lawyer!” To that, Lucifer replied, “Where are you going to get one?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 8, 2023 Report Share Posted May 8, 2023 Joke: Tastes Like Orange An inventor, looking for a loan, told his banker that he’d discovered a remarkable substance that brushed lightly over a lady’s pussy, would give it an orange flavor. “No good,” the banker responded, after some though. “But if you can invent something to put into an orange that will make it taste like pussy, you can have your loan and we’ll both get rich!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 11, 2023 Report Share Posted May 11, 2023 Joke: Chemistry Class Chemistry classes were going on. The teacher asked a girl student, "What are nitrates?" The girl blushed and answered, "Night-rates are costlier than day rates, I can tell you that." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 11, 2023 Report Share Posted May 11, 2023 Joke: Problems with the Herd Bill and Roy, a couple of farmers, met at the town hardware store on Friday. “Had some problems with my herd," lamented bill. “My prize bull was impotent. But the Vet came and gave him some special medicine, and now he seems to be doing fine.” The following week, Roy met Bill again. “My bull’s had problems too,” comment Roy. “What was that medicine the Vet prescribed?” "I don’t know,” replied Bill. “But it tastes like chocolate. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 11, 2023 Report Share Posted May 11, 2023 Joke: Goodbye, Mother A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently." "I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?" "Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother?' It would make me feel so much better." "Sure," answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!" As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!" "Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 11, 2023 Report Share Posted May 11, 2023 Joke: What Size? A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. "What size?" asks the clerk. "Gee, I don’t know." "Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly. Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves. A high school kid comes in to buy condoms. "What size?" The kid embarrassedly says, "I’ve never done this before. I don’t know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him and yells, "Clean up in aisle 4!" Rolling_Hafi 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 13, 2023 Report Share Posted May 13, 2023 Joke: Caught In A Pickle Slicer A man who worked at a pickle plant returned home in the early afternoon, much to his wife’s surprise. “What happened?” she asked. He replied that his penis got caught in a pickle slicer. His wife was sympathetic as she asked what happened to the pickle slicer. “She got fired too,” he said. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 13, 2023 Report Share Posted May 13, 2023 Joke: I Hear Someone Coming A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all on his own. He went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let’s go to my apartment, I hear somebody coming." He followed her into her apartment. She closed the door and leaned against it allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears." Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears?!?!? Look at these breasts! They are a full 38 inches and 100% natural. I work out every day and my buns are firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?" Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming... that was me. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 13, 2023 Report Share Posted May 13, 2023 Joke: Ball Scratching Writing on a bathroom wall… Some come here to shit and stink. Some come here to sit and think. Some come here to scratch their balls, But I come here to write on walls! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 13, 2023 Report Share Posted May 13, 2023 Joke: We Use Doris A new recruit joins the foreign legion, after 6 months he is desperate for sex. He asked an old member, "What do you do for sex around here?" The man replied, "We use Doris." "Who's Doris?" "Camel in the stable." "Hell no, I'm not that desperate!" After a year, he can't take it anymore. He walks to the stable, grabs a stool and starts humping the camel. In walks the old member and looks disgusted. "Uh, you pervert, we use Doris to ride to the Brothel!!!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 14, 2023 Report Share Posted May 14, 2023 Joke: Check For Squirrels Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. One day, deep in the wild, she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for a while. Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion, Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass, Tarzan became aroused. He quickly ran over and kicked her in the crotch. In pain, she screamed, "What the hell did you do that for?" Tarzan replied, "Tarzan always checks for squirrels." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 14, 2023 Report Share Posted May 14, 2023 Joke: Laying Tile What do husbands and floor tiles have in common? If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them for life Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted May 14, 2023 Report Share Posted May 14, 2023 Joke: That's Not A Worm Little Sally accidentally walks in on her father going to the bathroom. Shocked, she runs to her mother and cries, “Mommy, Mommy! Daddy has a big fat ugly worm hanging out of his wee-wee!” That’s not a worm, sweetie,” comforts the mother. “That’s a very important part of daddy’s body. If daddy didn’t have one of those, you wouldn’t be here. And now that I think about it … neither would I.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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