worldangel Posted August 28, 2023 Report Share Posted August 28, 2023 Joke: It Starts With the Letter 'M' A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day in a written test, she included this question: "My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I am strong and attractive. I pick up things. What am I?" When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word "Mother." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 29, 2023 Report Share Posted August 29, 2023 Joke: Re-Marry My Ex-Wife I tried to re-marry my ex-wife… But she figured out I was only after my money! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 29, 2023 Report Share Posted August 29, 2023 Joke: The Roman Emperor Who Never Aged There was a Roman emperor who never aged after he turned 19... His name was Constant-Teen. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 29, 2023 Report Share Posted August 29, 2023 Joke: Speed Read Recipes Two nudists were discussing politics. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction... I read to the end and say, "Well, that's not going to happen." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 29, 2023 Report Share Posted August 29, 2023 Joke: Painting of A Ring-Shaped Reef Island My art instructor complimented my painting of a ring-shaped reef island... They said, “Not bad, not bad atoll.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 29, 2023 Report Share Posted August 29, 2023 Joke: A New Locket Seeing her friend Marcia wearing a new locket, Ashley asks if there is a memento of some sort inside. “Yes,” says Marcia, “a lock of my husband’s hair.” “But Larry’s still alive?” “I know, but his hair is gone.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 29, 2023 Report Share Posted August 29, 2023 Joke: Co-Author Teacher: Vincent, not to be presumptuous, but your short story is truly fantastic. Did you really write it? Vincent: Yes, I wrote, while my mother dictated. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 29, 2023 Report Share Posted August 29, 2023 Joke: Handy Man Application A man sees a job advert published on a building site, "Handy man wanted; apply within." The man goes to speak to the foreman and applies. Foreman: "Can you drive a forklift truck?" Man: "No." Foreman: "Can you plaster?" Man: "No." Foreman: "Can you brick lay?" Man: "No." Foreman: "If you don't mind me asking, what's handy about you?" Man: "I only live five minutes down the road." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 29, 2023 Report Share Posted August 29, 2023 Joke: Oh, the Irony James comes home to find his wife Rachel sobbing bitterly. "Oh, Honey, I'm so sorry," she sniffles. "I was ironing your suit and went to answer the phone and ended up burning a big hole right in the seat of your pants!" "There, there, darling," James replies, gently patting her shoulder. "All is well. I have another pair of pants to go with that suit." "I know," Rachel sniffles. "I used them to patch the hole." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 30, 2023 Report Share Posted August 30, 2023 Joke: Head Out On the Highway I think the scariest part of the song “Born to be Wild”... Is when they find a head out on the highway. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 30, 2023 Report Share Posted August 30, 2023 Joke: Mr. Harvey, I Beg of You After smattering a bazillion flying insects on his Jeep windshield, Harvey came to a stoplight. That very moment another sacrificial bug arrives — “Mr. Harvey, I beg of you... spare my life and I’ll wash your windshield every day for a year!” "Nah, I don’t think so," states Harvey. “Why the heck not?” responds the bug. ‘Well, it’s my wife’s car, and she could use the exercise.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 30, 2023 Report Share Posted August 30, 2023 Joke: Words of Wisdom Jane Benson returned home from college one day to see her family. While chatting together at dinner, her five year old brother Joey overheard Jane speaking about her boyfriend William. "I thought his name was Billy." Joey said. His mother replied, "William is another name for Billy, dear." That night, before Joey went to bed, Jane came to see him. "Would you like me to read you an anecdote?" she asked. Joey tilted his head curiously. "What's an anecdote?" "An anecdote is a tale." Jane replied. After reading Joey his bedtime story, Jane gets up to leave. "Would you like me to douse the light?" she asked. Joey looked at her curiously again. "What's douse mean?" "Douse means to put out." Jane replied. The next day, Jane took her younger siblings to a local petting zoo. "How was the petting zoo?" their parents asked upon their return home. "It was great!" Joey replied. "I saw a William goat get into one of the cages, but one of the keepers took him by the anecdote and doused him." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 30, 2023 Report Share Posted August 30, 2023 Joke: Shoot Already Mr. and Mrs. Shaw were on a safari in darkest jungle. They were walking cautiously through the jungle when suddenly a huge lion sprang out in front of them, seized Mrs. Shaw in its jaws and started to drag her off into the bush. “Shoot!” she screamed to her husband. “Shoot!” “I can’t!” he yelled back. “I’ve run out of film!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 30, 2023 Report Share Posted August 30, 2023 Joke: Missing Three Keys The applicant for life insurance was finding it difficult to fill out the application. The salesman asked what the trouble was, and the man said that he couldn't answer the question about the cause of death of his father. The salesman wanted to know why. After some embarrassment the client explained that his father had been hanged. The salesman pondered for a moment. "Just write: 'Father was taking part in a public function when the platform gave way.'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2023 Report Share Posted August 31, 2023 Joke: Build Me Up Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition... And finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2023 Report Share Posted August 31, 2023 Joke: The Magic Stick Magic is awesome. Do you know the name of the magical stick that makes men disappear? The pregnancy stick. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2023 Report Share Posted August 31, 2023 Joke: My Boss Won't Stop Flirting My boss won't stop flirting with me. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Mainly because we're a family run business. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2023 Report Share Posted August 31, 2023 Joke: The Easy Cough Doctor (complacently): "You cough more easily this morning." Patient (querulously): "I should, I've been practicing all night." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2023 Report Share Posted August 31, 2023 Joke: That's What It Stands For Son: “Mom, can I have $20?” Mom: “Does it look like I am made of money?” Son: “Well, isn't that what M-O-M stands for?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2023 Report Share Posted August 31, 2023 Joke: Fly by Day A lady staying in a hotel kept a pet parrot who she would often let out of the cage to fly around the room. One day, the lady was about to leave to do some errands, but had forgotten to check whether she had closed the parrot's cage door or not; because she was in a hurry and didn't have time to go back, she quickly wrote up a note, reading, "Please enter with care, Pet flies!" and taped it to the door. By the end of the day, the cleaning lady went to meet with the hotel manager. "Have you cleaned all of the rooms?" he asked. "Yes," she replied. "All except for the room of that one tenant with the pet flies." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2023 Report Share Posted August 31, 2023 Joke: Inattentive Waitress A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," said the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2023 Report Share Posted August 31, 2023 Joke: I Got Arrested I got arrested today for walking out of an art museum with a painting. I’m just so confused because earlier when I asked the security if I could take a picture, they said “yes.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2023 Report Share Posted September 1, 2023 Joke: During Wild Sex What do you do with your asshole during wild sex? Leave him home with the kids! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2023 Report Share Posted September 1, 2023 Joke: The Stork Brings Them Little Johnny asks, “Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Who the hell is having sex with the stork?" His mother fainted. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2023 Report Share Posted September 1, 2023 Joke: Which Is She? A man told his wife that he had appointed a new secretary to help him in his business. The wife asks, "Is she blonde, brunette, or red hair?” He replied, "HE is bald." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2023 Report Share Posted September 1, 2023 Joke: Now That's A Vase Two girlfriends where walking down the street and one sees her boyfriend in a flower store buying flowers. She says to her friend, "Shit, I hate when my boyfriend buys me flowers, he always expects something from me.” Her friend says, "What’s wrong with that? I think its sweet." The girl replies, "I am tired of laying on my back with my legs spread open for three days.” "Why don't you just buy a vase?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2023 Report Share Posted September 1, 2023 Joke: What's That Lump In Your Shorts? A guy is out jogging when he sees a tennis ball in the gutter. He picks it up and puts it in his pocket and keeps on going. A while later comes across a friend also out jogging, and they carry on together. After a while his friend says, "What's that lump in your shorts?” "That's a tennis ball," he replies. "Wow!" says his friend, "I've had tennis elbow, and I thought that was bad Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2023 Report Share Posted September 1, 2023 Joke: Give Up Sex Completely Sam was less than pleased with the doctor’s therapy for the constant fatigue that was plaguing him. “Give up sex completely, Doctor?” he screamed. “I’m a young guy. How can you expect me to just go cold turkey?” “So get married and taper off gradually,” advised the physician. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2023 Report Share Posted September 3, 2023 Joke: Hereditary Diarrhea A man told the doctor that he had diarrhea and it was hereditary. The doctor asked, "Why do you say it's hereditary?" "Because it was in my jeans," he replied. Rolling_Hafi 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2023 Report Share Posted September 3, 2023 Joke: Cute Angina An elderly couple decides to marry, and she has a heart condition that he is unaware of. As they prepare for their wedding night, getting into bed, she says, "George, I have something to tell you... I have acute angina." George crawled into bed and replied, "I'm glad to know that, because the rest of you is UGLY!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2023 Report Share Posted September 3, 2023 Joke: Will This Help With My Sunburn? Sam is on vacation. After the first day his legs are painfully sunburned, so he goes to a doctor’s office. The doctor examines his legs and says “Try this.” He hands him a Viagra tablet. Sam says, “What will this do to help my sunburn?” The doctor replies, “Nothing, but it’ll keep the sheets off of your legs for a night.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2023 Report Share Posted September 3, 2023 Joke: Cut Out Wednesday A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests show nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse. "Every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday," she says. The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday. "I can’t," says the woman. "That’s the only night I’m home with my husband." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2023 Report Share Posted September 3, 2023 Joke: We Eat It A teacher in a kindergarten school was asking the little kids to tell her the uses of light. Bernard said, "We use it to see in the evening when the sun sets." Gerard said, "It is useful so that we can read in the evening." Luc said, "We need it for TV and radio etc." After all kids said what they thought, little timid Isabelle raised her hand. "Yes, Isabelle, what else we use the light for?" "We eat it," said Isabelle. "What do you mean, honey?" "I'm not really sure. But I heard my mother saying to my father last night, 'Switch the light off and put it in my mouth.'” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2023 Report Share Posted September 3, 2023 Joke: My Dad, the Scaredy Cat Two kids are arguing over whose father was the biggest scaredy cat. Tommy says, “My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bead.” Peter replies, “Yeah? Well, that’s nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2023 Report Share Posted September 3, 2023 Joke: A Woman and a Cat What’s the difference between a woman and a cat? One is a finicky eater who doesn’t care if you live or die. The other is a house pet Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2023 Report Share Posted September 3, 2023 Joke: Yours or Hers? A doctor and his wife were out walking when a beautiful woman in tight-fitting halter top and skirt nodded hello from a nearby doorway. “And who was that?” questioned the wife. “Oh, just a young woman I know professionally,” said the doctor, reddening slightly. “I see,” said the wife. “Your profession or hers? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2023 Report Share Posted September 3, 2023 Joke: Be Gentle this Time An elderly couple was sitting on the out porch when the husband turned to his wife and, "Muffin, I feel like making love tonight.” The wife replied, "Okay Ernest, I will let you, but be gentle this time." "But I am always gentle with you, dearest," "That’s not true," she replied, "but the last time you woke me up TWICE!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2023 Report Share Posted September 3, 2023 Joke: Why Do Men Always The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, “Doctor, I want to know, why do men always want to marry a virgin?” To which the doctor handily responded, “To avoid criticism.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2023 Report Share Posted September 3, 2023 Joke: Go Away Fido One day a man was eating dinner at his girlfriend’s parents. The dog was under his chair and it barked while he was holding in a fart. This startled the man and caused him to rip a small fart. The mom said, "Fido!" Since the dog was receiving the blame he decided to rip a huge one. Again the mother said, "Fido! Go Away!” Seeing as the dog was continuing to receive the blame he let out a wet, loud, and/or possibly deafening fart. Then his girlfriend said, “Fido, you heard mom, leave before he shits on you!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2023 Report Share Posted September 4, 2023 Joke: Need A New Home I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll climb over my neighbour's fence and get it for you. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2023 Report Share Posted September 4, 2023 Joke: Road Hogged Little Johnny: "Mom, Dad just backed out of the garage and ran over my bicycle!" Mom: "Maybe in the future you shouldn't leave it on the front lawn." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2023 Report Share Posted September 4, 2023 Joke: No Holiday Travel The wife and I were going on a holiday vacation, and when we got to the airport I said to her, "I wish I'd brought the television." She said, "Why, will you get bored?" I said, "No, the passports are on top of it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2023 Report Share Posted September 4, 2023 Joke: Rainforest Cafe I think the Rainforest Cafe takes the whole rainforest theme too far. This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2023 Report Share Posted September 4, 2023 Joke: Speak While You Have A Chance A man and his wife cracked open their fortune cookies. Hers read, “Be quiet for a little while.” His read, “Speak while you have a chance." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2023 Report Share Posted September 4, 2023 Joke: Judge, Whose Coke Is it? A man and his young wife were in divorce court, and the custody of their children created a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should keep custody of them. Then man also wanted custody and the judge asked him to justify his demand. After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, “Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or to the machine?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2023 Report Share Posted September 4, 2023 Joke: This Is My Sister The non-commissioned officer surprised the private in the barracks with a girl. “Uh-uh, this is my sister, Serge.” the private stuttered. “That’s okay,” the sergeant soothed. “She used to be mine.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2023 Report Share Posted September 4, 2023 Joke: Fluffy's In Heat Little Sally asks her dad if she could take her dog Fluffy far a walk around the block. He tells her no, because Fluffy was in heat. Little Sally asks, "What does in heat mean?" Without any explanation, her dad took a rag with gas on it and wiped the dog’s rear end with it. He told her to go around the block and come back straight home. When she returned she was alone. Her dad asks, "Where is Fluffy?" Little Sally says, "Fluffy ran out of gas a few blocks back and another dog is pushing her home." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2023 Report Share Posted September 4, 2023 Joke: At The Restaurant Guest to the waiter: "Can you bring me what the lady at the next table is having?" Waiter: "Sorry, sir, but I'm pretty sure she wants to eat it herself." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2023 Report Share Posted September 4, 2023 Joke: Making Sweet Potatoes Every morning during our coffee break, my co-workers and I listened to the culinary disasters of a newlywed colleague. We then tried to share some helpful hints and recipes. One day she asked us for step-by-step instructions on cooking sweet potatoes, one of her husband's favourites. "I've finally been able to make them sweet," she said, "but how do you make them orange?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2023 Report Share Posted September 5, 2023 Joke: They Have No Brains Do you know why women have no brains? They have no penis to keep them in! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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