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  1. Cruising places: Parks 1. Tasik Kelana Jaya (HAPPENING!) 2. Tasik Permaisuri HUKM side (HAPPENING!) 3. Bukit Kommanwel hill top Swimming Pools 1. Kelana Jaya Swimming Pool (HAPPENING!) 2. Chin Woo Swimming Pool (HAPPENING!) 3. Bandar Tun Razak Malls 1. KL Sentral toilet besides KFC (HAPPENING!) 2. Nu Sentral toilet besides HM (HAPPENING!) 3. Sunway Pyramid toilet below TGV 4. Avenue K toilet Level C & next to Tealive 5. Empire gallery Toilet beside popular / uniqlo. (Once in the blue moon) RnR 1. LDP towards Kepong besides Caltex (HAPPENING!) 2. LDP towards Puchong from Sunway McDonald (HAPPENING!) 3. Shell toilet at kesas highway towards kota kemuning also got. (Depends lucks, mostly taxi driver or lorry driver) 4. Shell toilet USJ Hicom (Happening) Gym 1. CF Sunway Pyramid (HAPPENING!) 2. CF Mid Valley 3. CF 1 Utama (HAPPENING!) 4. FF Avenue K (HAPPENING!) 5. FF The Curve 6. FF Empire (HAPPENING!) 7. FF Paradigm Mall (Happening)
  2. Tokyo just made history by being the largest city in Japan to recognise same-sex partnerships! The Tokyo metropolitan government announced that it intends to launch a system to recognise same-sex partnerships from November onwards. While Japan does not yet legally recognise same-sex marriage, many local governments provide certifications recognising LGBTQ+ couples. Tokyo will be the 9th prefecture to implement a partnership system, after Aomori, Akita, Ibaraki, Gunma, Mie, Osaka, Fukuoka and Saga. Follow us on IG too for more LGBT+ news: https://www.instagram.com/dearstraightpeopleig/
  3. Hello! We have started our very own Telegram Group for BW, you can join us here: BW (Official) The Blowing Wind Telegram Group Chat https://bit.ly/frmbw Join Group
  4. Dear All: We are proud to partner with Oogachaga to publicize their newest website, Precious SG via our community banner. https://www.sgprecious.life/ It's a one-stop information portal for mature LGBTQ+ people age 50 & above, especially gay & bisexual men, & other men who have sex with men, to find out more about HIV, and lots of useful tips on living with HIV as an older person. It's specially developed for people living with HIV (PLHIV) who are older gay & bisexual men, & also transgender people. The resources are currently in English & Chinese, & there are plans to translate into Malay & Tamil. (should you know of anyone that can help with the Malay/ Tamil translation, do reach out to them.) Oogachaga mentioned that it's the only online resource of its kind in Singapore! Oogachaga is a community-based, non-profit professional organization working with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer & gender-diverse (LGBTQ+) individuals, couples & families in Singapore since 1999. You can contact them at: · CARE Email counselling: https://oogachaga.com/email-counselling · WhatsApp counselling: 8592-0609 (Sat: 2pm - 5pm, Tue - Thu: 7pm - 10pm) · Professional counselling: counselling@oogachaga.com However, if you need to talk to someone urgently because you're in emotional crisis, feeling suicidal or affected by suicide, please consider: · Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) 24hr suicide prevention hotline: 1-767 (1-SOS)
  5. When things get hard… We’ve #GotYouCovered A Wingman is somebody who looks out for you and is there for you through all your ups and downs in life: Be it on social events, sexual encounters, mental matters or even other areas. A Wingman is someone whom you can confide in about your sexual experiences, without fear of judgment because you know they have your best interests at heart. You also know that they will be able to help you make the best decision for your sexual health. A Wingman is someone who guides you through the good & bad days. They are, after all, your pillar of support and you know you can depend on them because they love you for go to the link to claim your free test coupon for your friend(s)! http://www.gayhealth.sg/wingman/
  6. Hello all, I am looking for a full time finance and admin personnel who knows bookkeeping and xero. However, through this search, also saw maybe we can have a group to match different hirers and job seekers, strengthening our community. If you are open to this, probably can pm me your telegram and let me know about your business or yourself, once I have enough ppl I will start one. Ps: of cuz, this wouldn't be for higher level of mnc roles, I believe for ppl who are more open to sme roles and for sme owners. Thanks!
  7. Laws and Penalties for Doxxing in Singapore (With Examples) Last updated on January 2, 2020 As of 1 January 2020, it is an offence to engage in “doxxing” in Singapore under the Protection from Harassment Act (POHA). Victims who face harassment due to online vigilantes sharing their personal information can seek redress under the POHA’s doxxing laws. What is Doxxing? Doxxing occurs when an individual or entity publishes the personal information of a person or people related to him (e.g. relatives, friends or colleagues) in order to harass, threaten or facilitate violence against them. Personal information refers to information that can be used to identify the person, such as photographs or videos, contact details, or information about the person’s employment, education and family. The new laws establish three different types of doxxing offences: Publishing personal information with the intention to cause harassment, alarm or distress Publishing personal information to cause the fear of violence Publishing personal information to facilitate the use of violence 1. Publishing personal information with the intention to cause harassment, alarm or distress Under the amended section 3 of the POHA, a person will be guilty of an offence if he publishes the personal information of a person (or of others related to that person) with the intention to cause harassment, alarm or distress to that person, and that person (or any other person) does in fact experience harassment, alarm or distress. For example, A publishes the personal information of B on an online forum, with the intention to cause distress to B. A may be guilty of an offence under the amended section 3 of the POHA if B’s family members or colleagues feel distressed. This is even though their own personal information had not been shared. The penalties for this offence are a fine of up to $5,000 and/or up to 6 months’ jail for a first conviction. These maximum penalties are doubled for repeat offenders. 2. Publishing personal information to cause the fear of violence Under the amended section 5 of the POHA, a person will be guilty of an offence if he publishes the personal information of a person (or of others related to that person), while intending, knowing or having reasonable cause to believe that it is likely that that person will believe that unlawful violence will be used against himself (or any other person). For example, A publishes the personal information of B on an online forum. For A to be guilty of an offence under the amended section 5 of the POHA (relating to “fear of violence”), B must believe that violence will be used against him or other people such as his family members and colleagues. It is not enough for B’s family members or colleagues to hold this belief. B must hold this belief himself. The penalties for this offence are a fine of up to $5,000 and/or up to 12 months’ jail for a first conviction. These maximum penalties are doubled for repeat offenders. 3. Publishing personal information to facilitate the use of violence Under the amended section 5 of the POHA, a person will also be guilty of an offence if he publishes the personal information of a person (or of others related to that person), while intending, knowing or having reasonable cause to believe that it is likely, to facilitate the use of unlawful violence against that person (or any other person). For example, A publishes the personal information of B on an online forum. A may be guilty of an offence under the amended section 5 of the POHA (relating to “facilitating the use of violence”) if A’s actions facilitate the use of violence against B’s family members or colleagues, even if not against B himself. The penalties for this offence are a fine of up to $5,000 and/or up to 12 months’ jail for a first conviction. These maximum penalties are doubled for repeat offenders. What are the differences between the three offences? Must the publisher have intended the outcome of the doxxing? The publisher must have intended to cause harassment, alarm or distress for him to be found guilty of an offence under the amended section 3 of the POHA. In contrast, a publisher can be found guilty of doxxing under either section 5 offence even if he did not intend to cause the victim to fear violence, or to facilitate the use of violence against the victim. It is sufficient if the publisher knows, or ought to have known, that his actions are likely to cause this outcome. Who is the target of the offence? An offence under the amended section 3 of the POHA will be made out if the person whose personal information was published, or “any other person” (i.e. persons other than that person, or related persons of that person), experiences harassment, alarm or distress. This is similar to the offence under the amended section 5 of the POHA (relating to “facilitate the use of violence”) in that the publisher must have targeted the person whose personal information has been published, or “any other person”. However, under the amended section 5 of the POHA (relating to “fear of violence”), it must have been the person whose personal information has been published who believes that violence will be used against him (or any other person) for the offence to be made out. Who Can be a Victim of Doxxing? Only individuals can be victims of doxxing. Although an entity such as a company or organisation will not be able to seek remedies for doxxing, employees of the entity may do so in their individual capacity if their own personal information has been published. However, this does not mean the organisations will have no avenues of recourse at all. In situations where acts of doxxing are accompanied by false statements of fact that damage the reputation of an entity, the entity can rely on the remedies available to them under the law against falsehoods. For example, the new sections 15A and 15B of the POHA allow an entity to apply for a stop publication order or correction order. These orders require the publisher to stop the publication of the false statement (and future statements) or publish a correction notice that notifies the reader of the statement’s falsity. Examples of Doxxing What is considered doxxing: What is not considered doxxing: Publishing abusive and insulting comments about a person’s alleged sexual promiscuity and including that person’s contact details and photos to allow others to contact him Posting a video of reckless driving on an online forum with the intention to warn people to drive safely Sharing a person’s personal information on social media and asking others to “teach him a lesson” Posting a video of a public dispute on social media in order to provide a factual account of the incident Posting a person’s personal information on an online forum where other users have called for that person to be identified, so that he can be attacked Sharing a person’s personal information with the authorities or emergency services so that necessary action can be taken Posting a video of a public figure that includes his contact details, and asking others to threaten the person Posting a video of a public figure where that person is being interviewed about publicly known facts It is important to note that these examples are only guidelines. Whether an action amounts to doxxing under the POHA ultimately depends on the context in which the personal information is published. Can One be Charged for Doxxing for Acts That Were Carried Out Before the Doxxing Laws Took Effect? Individuals who carried out acts that may be considered doxxing before Singapore’s doxxing laws came into operation on 1 January 2020 will not be charged under them. This is because laws cannot be applied retrospectively, i.e. they cannot be applied to acts that occurred before they came into force. Therefore, Singapore’s doxxing laws can only cover acts that took place on or after 1 January 2020. What to Do If You Have Been a Victim of Doxxing If you are a victim of doxxing, there are several remedies available to you under the POHA: Make a police report: If it can be shown that the publisher has committed the offence of doxxing under the amended sections 3 or 5 of the POHA, the publisher may face criminal sanctions. Bring civil proceedings against the publisher and claim damages as compensation: You may wish to consult one of our harassment lawyers on the feasibility of bringing a lawsuit against the publisher. Apply for a protection order: You may submit an application for a Protection Order (PO) or an Expedited Protection Order (EPO) to the State Courts. Protection orders are flexible remedies that are tailored to the victim’s needs. For example, the court may issue an order to prohibit a person from publishing the victim’s personal information online. The court may also require third-parties, such as the Facebook and Instagram social media platforms, to remove the post. The amendments to the POHA provide for a simplified application process and an expedited timeline for being granted these orders. An EPO may be granted within 48 to 72 hours of filing an application and, where there is a risk of violence or actual violence, within 24 hours. A PO application may also be processed within 4 weeks. Please refer to our other article for more information on applying for POs.
  8. https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/crowd-heads-ikea-ahead-closure-tuesday-company-says-online-store-continue 04th April 2020 https://theindependent.sg/photos-of-long-queues-at-ikea-cafeteria-go-viral/ This happened just last sunday 25th Oct 2020 Reasons given: FREE AIRCON + FREE PARKING + GOOD CHICKEN WINGS & MEATBALLS (MASS PICNIC MODE @ Tampines IKEA CANTEEN) + FREE PLAYGROUND FOR CHILDREN TO PLAY NO SOCIAL DISTANCING NOT EVERYONE WORE MASKS AT THE CANTEEN
  9. To me this was pretty surprising as Japan is pretty conservative country. What you guys think?
  10. https://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/covid-19-phase-2-of-reopening-to-start-from-jun-19-social-12835758#.Xudba2KY8Rw.whatsapp Can socialize already. Og still below group of 5.
  11. https://the-singapore-lgbt-encyclopaedia.wikia.org/wiki/Hate_speech_against_LGBT_people_in_Singapore Hate speech against LGBT people in Singapore In Singapore, the Sedition Act not only prohibits seditious acts and speech which undermine the administration of government but also criminalises actions that promote feelings of ill will or hostility between different races or "classes of the population". Despite the statute's statement that it protects all segments of society, which by right should also include the LGBT community, it has mainly been used against individuals who have made offensive rants against the Malay-Muslim community. The LGBT community has not been accorded any shelter under this law and hate speech against it is constantly indulged in with impunity. Section 298 of the Penal Code makes it an offence to utter a word within hearing distance of a person, with the deliberate intention to wound that person’s religious or racial feelings. The penalty is a jail term of up to 3 years, a fine, or both. Section 298A similarly criminalises the promotion of enmity between different religious or racial groups and carries an identical punishment. No such protection is given to the LGBT community. This glaring inconsistency was highlighted in a comic strip drawn in 2015 by openly gay cartoonist Otto Fong: Progress in protection against anti-LGBT hate speech Main article: Explanatory Statement to the Maintenance of Religious Harmony Act See also: K Shanmugam's views on homosexuality In 2019, the Maintenance of Religious Harmony Act (MRHA) was amended by Parliament to protect both religious groups as well as non-religious ones, like the gay community. An Explanatory Statement to the MRHA, passed in Parliament in the first week of October 2019, was added to the Act and specifically referred to the LGBT community, stating that it would be an offence to use force or violence against it on the grounds of religion[1]. It was supposed to do so by dealing with both groups equally as the new provisions were meant not only to reduce conflicts between and within religious groups, but also to prevent religion from being used as a basis to attack groups that may not be of a religious persuasion, such as the LGBT community[2]. However, in practice, no action has been taken against most instances of online hate speech. Anti-LGBT groups Main article: Singapore anti-LGBT organisations In stark contrast to the fact that all groups against any race, religion or minority are banned in Singapore, the Government allows anti-LGBT organisations to flourish. Most of the hate speech against the gay community that can be read by the public surfaces on Facebook groups such as We are against Pinkdot in Singapore[3], Ban Pink Dot & LGBT Activism - Protect Children[4] and Singaporeans Defending Marriage & Family[5]. Many comments made below online news articles, especially those on Yahoo! Singapore, are also virulently anti-gay, abetted by the posters' sanctioned cloak of anonymity. Instances of anti-LGBT hate speech Pastor Rony Tan's comments during sermon, February 2010 Main article: Pastor Rony Tan's anti-gay sermon saga Barely two weeks after being called up by the Internal Security Department (ISD) for his insensitive comments on Buddhism and Daoism[6], another objectionable 80-minute video, uploaded in May 2009, was noted on the the homepage of the 12,000 strong megachurch Lighthouse Evangelism at www.lighthouse.org.sg. It featured then 33-year old Pastor Rony Tan making comments during a sermon like, "Proper sex means life - it propagates life. Lesbianism and homosexuality simply mean death and barrenness.”[7]. He also quipped, "If you allow [homosexuality], next time people will want to get married to monkeys. And they will want rights. They’ll want to apply for HDB. With a donkey or a monkey or a dog and so on. It’s very pathetic.”[8]. The video attracted the attention of the public with local filmmakers Royston Tan and Sun Koh among a total of 85 people lodging a police report over the long Chinese New Year weekend against the pastor for his remarks[9],[10],[11]. It was removed from the church's website one day after the pastor apologised to Buddhists and Daoists for denigrating their beliefs in the second week of February 2010. Bryan Lim's "open fire" comments, 4 June 2016 Main article: Bryan Lim anti-gay hate speech saga On 4 June 2016, a Facebook user Bryan Lim, then 37 years of age and a regional performance consultant at Canon, commented on the anti-LGBT Facebook group We are against PinkdDot in Singapore saying, “I am a Singaporean citizen. I am a NSman. I am a father. And I swore to protect my nation. Give me the permission to open fire. I would like to see these £@€$^*s die for their causes”[12]. He was commenting on the hate group's post entitled, ‘Say No to Foreign Intervention‘. Lim was fined $3,500 by the High Court on Friday, 4 November 2916[13]. He was initially charged with making an electronic record encouraging violence against LGBT people, which would have landed him a maximum of five years' jail and a fine. However, he pleaded guilty to an amended charge of making a threatening, abusive or insulting communication under the Protection from Harassment Act (PHA). District Judge Low Wee Ping said the aggravating factor was his use of the words "open fire" and "die for their causes". Yahoo! article, 20 December 2019 The following comments were made below a Yahoo! article entitled, "Disney cuts same-sex kiss scene in Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker for Singapore market" published on 20 December 2019[14]: Microaggression Microaggression is a term used for brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioural, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative prejudicial slights and insults toward any group, particularly culturally marginalised groups like the gay community. Although falling short of being hate speech, it nonetheless can be detrimental to an LGBT person’s psychological health and may lead to chronic stress, depression, anxiety, and lowered self-esteem. Microaggressions occur in three distinct ways: Microassaults are conscious, deliberate forms of discriminatory practice that are intended to harm, and most closely resemble traditional forms of discrimination. Examples of microassaults would include intentionally calling a person who identifies as a sexual or gender minority a derogatory slur (eg. ah kua, bapok, pondan, faggot) or telling a trans people that they cannot use a multiple-stall restroom or rejecting their entry into a multiple-stall restroom when they try to use one. An example of institutionalised microassault is the existence of Section 377A of the Penal Code whereby the State imparts to society and to gay men the conviction that homosexuals are criminals for indulging in sex even when it is consensual, between adults and done in private. Another is the messaging put out by religious organisations which conduct conversion therapy like the Choices ministry at the Church Of Our Saviour and truelove.is[15] that tell gay individuals they are "broken" and that they can "come out" of their sexual orientation to become straight. Microinsults include snubs, gestures, and verbal slights. Examples are: 1) Asking a gay man during Chinese New Year or other holiday when he is going to find a girlfriend or get married. This insinuates that he is deficient in some way because he does not have an opposite-sex partner or that he is irresponsible for not getting married and producing children. 2) Asking someone in a gay or lesbian couple who plays the "man" or "woman" role in the relationship. 2) Asking a gay friend after a long hiatus whether he has a new boyfriend, implying that gay relationships are inherently fragile or that homosexuals are promiscuous. 3) Using the phrase “that’s so gay” to refer to something stupid, odd, or undesirable, which is often considered insulting and hurtful. 4) Asking a transgender person about their gender reassignment surgery. Finally, microinvalidations serve to exclude, negate, or nullify the psychological thoughts, feelings, or experiential reality of certain groups. An example of a microinvalidation would be assuming that all gay individuals had a difficult experience “coming out,” which is defined as the process through which one acknowledges and accepts one’s own sexual or gender identity to their families. Another is telling a young gay person that his same-sex attraction is just a phase and that he will grow out of it.
  12. Should just stick to their mother tongue. Egs. Want a not? U cry u stop.
  13. What do you think? Easier for them to accept a top son comparatively? Inspired by this clip.
  14. Alaric Tan pens a heartfelt letter to seek support for The Greenhouse, an LGBT drug addiction recovery center that he founded. As I crouched in a corner of my apartment, alone and in the dark, waiting for the police to ram down my main door and arrest me, I was fully aware that I was paranoid, but completely unable to snap out of it. I could not remember the last time I had eaten or slept, nor how much drugs I had consumed in the past week. My mind and body had caved in to the stress. All of my senses were terrifyingly amplified – every tiny sound made me jump, every movement was a strain. I was severely dehydrated from sweating too much, but completely incapable of the simple act of turning on the tap and taking a drink. I had spent 8 of the past 16 years trying really hard to get better. I was fortunate enough to be able to see the best doctors. But even though I tried everything, nothing seemed to work. My life had become a nightmare from which I could not wake. My friends and family did not know what to do with me anymore. And even my boyfriend of 14 years had given up in frustration. He said to me one day: I don’t believe that you really want to stop using drugs. I think you say that just to make yourself feel better so you can continue using. Dear Straight People, As I sit here writing this today, I can’t help but be deeply grateful that so much has changed. Against all odds, I eventually managed to overcome my drug addiction. My recovery was so hard-won that I knew what I had to do. I knew there were others like me out there who wanted to get better. I stopped driving, moved back in with my mother and rented out my apartment to secure the funds I needed to set up a substance addiction recovery centre for marginalised communities named The Greenhouse. As founder of The Greenhouse, I meet people like me everyday. People whose parents were seldom around or who were fighting all the time. People who were physically, verbally or emotionally abused or sexually assaulted. People who were bullied, discriminated against or rejected, often by their own parents. People who feel ashamed of their sexual orientation because they were told that it is bad and can be changed. Even though we come from different families, different schools, different races, our experiences are all the same – we’ve all been through some form of trauma; we drink and use to numb the pain. Addiction has little to do with drugs or alcohol – addiction is about pain from shame, abuse and rejection. The Greenhouse has been operating for 2 years now. There has been a 10-fold increase in demand for our services since we first started. We believe that this is just the tip of the iceberg. As we mark the first 100 people who have come through our doors seeking help, there are things I feel a need to say. I’ve been deeply dismayed by some of the remarks that have been made about LGBT people who struggle with substance addiction, often by other LGBT people. ‘Addiction is a choice’ ‘We are a disgrace to our community’ We deserve to just overdose and die. It isn’t the lack of understanding that disturbs me, but the lack of willingness to understand. Having been judged and discriminated against all our lives as marginalised people, haven’t we learnt the need to be patient and compassionate toward people whose struggles we don’t always get? The struggle with pain, with shame, with rejection is a human struggle that we of all people should understand. If we can’t even love and accept each other, how can we possibly expect love and acceptance from others? I remember the day that everything changed for me so clearly. The day I finally understood the power of peer support. I turned up for an LGBT addiction recovery meeting after using. There was simply no way to hide the awful state that I was in. I had not eaten or slept for a week again. I sat there sweating and paranoid, completely ashamed of myself. Yet not a single person at that meeting judged me – there was only care and concern in their eyes. For the first time in my life, I felt loved and accepted. For the first time in my life, I no longer felt alone. If this room of strangers could love and accept me at my worst, there was no reason for me not to love and accept myself. The desire to use drugs was completely lifted from that moment onwards. There was simply no pain to numb anymore. These people believed me when I said that I wanted to stop using drugs. These people believed me when I said that I wanted to get better. This was the seed that bore The Greenhouse – we are a safe space, free from judgement and discrimination, where we will love, accept and believe in each other until we learn to love, accept and believe in ourselves. I believe that the love, acceptance and support we offer each other is life-giving and can bring real healing and change to our LGBT community, and not just to those who struggle with addiction. I believe that it will make us freer, happier and more resilient. The Greenhouse has faced many challenges over the years. It has taken the tireless contribution of many volunteers to maintain operations. We run 6 meetings a week and provide assessment, counselling, case management and referral services. We get better at what we do with every case that we handle. Against all odds, our centre is surviving. Against all odds, more and more of us are recovering from our addictions and thriving. Yet the biggest challenge that we face remains. It is very hard for us to secure financial support. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was come out publicly as a recovering drug addict. But my mother and I have already spent $100k of our personal savings setting up and maintaining The Greenhouse – we know that we cannot continue the work that we’re doing without asking for help. It is for this reason that we recently launched our first fundraising campaign. We believe in the value of the work that we’re doing and hope that you will too. Almost all of us at The Greenhouse are LGBT, with about half of us also HIV+. I’ve lost count of the number of people who broke down in relief when I explained that addiction is not a moral failing and that recovery is possible. It’s so hard to describe what it’s like to see those who come to us broken and ashamed heal from their pain. To see them slowly let down their guard and learn to trust and love again. People who overcome addiction are some of the most humble, patient, loving and grateful people you’ll ever meet. Many of us go on to be of service to others. We help others recover from addiction as a way of paying it forward. We are good people who want to get better. And we need your love, acceptance and support as much as anyone else. Please help us take care of our own. Keep our addiction recovery centre running! More information about The Greenhouse SG Thank you Dear Straight People for featuring The Greenhouse.
  15. This open letter is addressed to all the gay men seeking quality connections outside of the gay clubs, bars and apps: It was a Friday, eight months into my first year in Singapore. Work was done for the week, but the weekend ahead wasn’t much to look forward to. Gym? TV? Most probably a couple of hook ups; not because I was particularly into it, but because it filled the hours and my empty apartment. The physical intimacy was a predictable quick fix for validation and affirmation – a personal connection, no matter how fleeting or transactional, was still a connection…I guess? So there I was, propped up at the bar when I heard those words spill out of my mouth – ‘I’m here because I’m fucking lonely’ – knowing full well that it was simultaneously the least sexy and most brutally honest phrase I have every spoken in that open-air courtyard. Maybe it was the months of desperately trying to fit in, or the attempts (and failures) at turning hook-ups into friendships? But I knew that it was probably the gnawing hypothesis that somewhere in this country, just out of reach, were some great guys who wanted to connect and maybe, just maybe, find a supportive and genuine friend or two. So if superficial, witty and flirty banter hadn’t worked for me so far, why not try a truth bomb or two instead? Dear Straight People, My first ‘coming out’ would be what most would call a ‘success’ – an (eventually) incredibly supportive family and a number of (slightly) older mentors who tucked me under their wing when I was a fresh gaybie. I was grateful for these formative relationships that shaped my identity and helped me believe in community. I began to feel proud of who I was and was affirmed by those around me. But when I moved to Singapore, my second ‘coming out’ was surprisingly stressful, frustrating and exhausting. As I aimlessly twirled my straw in my Blue Spin cocktail on that Friday, I reflected truthfully – I had found very few affirming gay friends and had no genuine relationships of any significance to reach out to. The rude shock of having to start from square one on a solo perilous journey where there were only two well-worn paths (turn left for the clubs and bars of Neil Road, turn right for Grindr) was confusing and stripped me of confidence. Walking the gauntlet up the stone steps felt like entering the arena in the Hunger Gay-mes. May the odds be forever in your favour, lah. Revealing a full picture of myself didn’t happen on the dance floor at Taboo at 2am and it wasn’t affirmed or carefully considered while flicking through Grindr. Instead of being able to share who I was, I was only able to share what I was, and be judged rapidly, efficiently and constantly for those elements. Suddenly, it was my age (Mid 30’s? You’re kidding right?), body type (Athletic? What sport, Mahjong?) and ethnicity (Generic Potato) that mattered far more than the parts of me that had previously been affirmed and celebrated (a vegetarian long distance runner who loves apocalyptic science fiction novels and K-Pop). I know I’m not the only gay in the village to ever feel alone or lonely. With ingrained homophobia and very limited public societal or cultural support, being gay can be an extrordinarily isolating experience, no matter which country or city you live in. While globally there are slightly sunnier skies ahead for many LGBTQ+ people, the lived weather forecast for many in our community is a constant shitstormof ignorance, discrimination, shame and persecution. Singapore has its own complex clusterfuck of challenges; anyone here who takes a vulnerable leap into the unknown to live their truth is OK by me. They deserve as much respect, support and affirmation that we can possibly give. But sometimes, I don’t think we are very good at providing this at all. When your personal ‘value’ is primarily determined by superficial criteria, it’s not hard to see why ‘minority stress’ is experienced by many LGBT communities around the world, causing anxiety, depression and increased suicideattempts. In an excellent essay, John Pachankis tells it like it is – gay men cause significant stress for other gay men due to ‘in-group discrimination’, often more harmful than being rejected by members of the hetero-majority. It’s relatively easy to roll your eyes at obnoxious homophobes or online trolls – you don’t need their approval. But rejection, shade and shame games from other gays? Excluded minorities within a minority? Hell no. It’s often said that gay people are lucky to ‘choose’ their family – but what if that choice is limited, absent or cut off? Being pushed away from your own community is the most painful because we need them the most for friendship, love or whatever in between – and that truly sucks. Despite this pain, we keep going back, finding it hard to imagine or connect to community beyond apps, booze and bars. But recently it has been exciting and pleasing to see unique communities withinour community taking shape, with specific passions, interests and values being celebrated through the Facebook group Out in SG. Out In SG is a group of like-minded and open-minded Singaporean residents who are interested in building community through participation in a wide range of fitness and social activities based on common interests and passions. With over 1,100 active members, it is rapidly becoming an effective and non-threatening way of connecting people through participation in social gatherings and events. Recent activities have included working up a sweat at bootcamp, riding bikes in the park, running around the bay, playing board games, tennis and bonding with Mother Nature on a morning trail hike. Apart from having fun, Out in SG is, consciously or unconsciously, equally about affirming identity, celebrating diversity and strengthening community. A recent social BBQ event was attended by a really diverse group of guys who, while individually very unique, seemed to have one thing in common – they ‘get it’; they understood that everyone appreciates a friendly face, a decent conversation, a few laughs and feeling seen and celebrated for who they are. Connecting on more than a superficial level requires a certain amount of vulnerability, empathy and understanding. It seems to be easier to do that when achieving something collaboratively away from a noisy, crowded bar – the many smiling, slightly shy new faces at recent events would attest to this. Is Out in SG the only way to find great people, feel good about yourself and pursue your personal interests? Of course not. I could happily list the amazing people, social groups and community organisations in Singapore that do far more on a daily basis over a much longer period of time to build connections and celebrate diversity in this country. They continue to inspire and motivate many of us. But the best bit about community is that it’s like a really good laksa; too much is never enough. There is enough toxic noise in the world; actively supporting each other on our little island home needs to be intentional and frequent, no matter who we are or where we are from. You never know when your little act of kindness will have a lasting impact. So for anyone who is looking for some quality connections, join the Out in SG group on Facebook, come along to an event or two and become an important part of our community. We can’t wait to see you there soon – nice guys guaranteed Join Out In SG Here Source: https://dearstraightpeople.com/2019/08/25/quality-connections/
  16. Trans-Focus legal Workshop Protect yourself by knowing the law. The Alicia Community Centre is partnering with Law Society Pro Bono Services to roll out a series of trans-focused legal workshops. Whether you are a member of the community or an ally interested in learning more, sign up at https://thetproject.typeform.com/to/d6lm8r to learn about your legal rights. Happening on 15 August, 6.30pm, the first session will cover mainly criminal law, like harassment, sexual offenses, and cyber bullying. Please feel free to leave any questions or concerns you would like to see covered in the workshop too.
  17. Perkhidmatan urut badan & batin Incall & outcall sekitar kl dan kawasan terdekat Booking awal untuk kekosongan http://urutlelakiKL.wassap.my/
  18. Hey, in urgent need for a roommate at an apartment @ Katong to move in on 1st July 2019 The room will be shared with me for $450/month (inclusive of bills). The apartment is located at a very convenient location with bus services to the city, well, practically anywhere. House is cleaned twice a week and the other two bedrooms are currently occupied by Singaporeans (as I am). The apartment has a fridge, functional kitchen (cooking allowed), a washing machine, the basic necessities etc. Roommate requirements would be: - between the age of 21 - 30 - good hygiene - tidy - considerate - just don't be a creep Your side of the room has already been furnished with a super single-sized bed, a desk (you gotta have your own chair, man) and a wardrobe. The bedroom has an aircon (serviced once in three months) and wifi: Message me if you're keen and especially ready to move in ASAP.
  19. Pink Carpet Y (PCY) is gayhealth.sg’s new resource centre for young Gay, Bisexual, Queer or Questioning (GBQ) men below the age of 25. This is a peer-led programme that is run by young GBQ men just like yourself. As a resource centre, you can access the following services: · Drop-In Centre · Life Skills workshops · Social Gatherings · Peer Counselling · Free HIV Testing The drop-in centre provides a safe space and opportunities for you to make new friends through games, theatres, movies and quizzes. You can access free HIV and Syphilis testing after each drop-in session. For more information, please visit our website at https://www.gayhealth.sg/community/pcy/
  20. Hey Guys! This is a thread for anyone who's from, or recently graduated from NJC! I'm currently serving NS and am from the batch of 2011, Anyone who was already in College then should probably know me. HEHE, no lah, I said that just cuz I kinda held a prominent position in school. I was from NJCIP and if you calculate, yes indeed I was from the 08IP batch. I'm just looking for people who are/were from the College and hopefully we can make friends with people who share this awesome common heritage! Seniors and juniors alike, let's congregate! PS: Let's avoid bringing up "FUN" etc, as we should all try and be friends! (:
  21. My friend is looking for someone to help him with Temporary area monitoring at woodlands (Simple job) - $15 per hour . Suitable for poly/ITE students or fresh gradNo need special qualifications. -To be completed within a week (weekdays) -To monitor a woodlands site for crowd/activity. Just need to take a picture and send a simple hourly report to my friend. Purpose of this is because a friend of mine bought a landed house there and would like someone to help him monitor the crowd and activities within a 24h period. Something like doing guard duty. -Total number of hours to clock -24 (different hour of the clock). Can split shift to 2-5 days example: (Mon 12pm to 12am, Tuesday 12am to 12pm). -If keen, please WhatsApp me at +65 88082568 . My name is Sam
  22. I will be providing private help for subjects like Maths for Poly / Uni studentsI don't charge fees for this , I have limited time as well. If you have questions for such subjects , can have a session to clear your doubts & explain you theory & help you resolve questions.
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