worldangel Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 Joke: iPhone I threw an iPhone into a lake the other day. It’s still syncing. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 Joke: Large Photo Frame My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo. Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 Joke: Son’s Train Set I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 Joke: Car Robbers While driving to work, robbers jumped into my car and stole everything. They were pirates of the car I be in. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 Joke: Law Student What do a law student and a recovering alcoholic have in common? They both have to pass the bar. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 Joke: Strip Club I went to a strip club at lunchtime today but it wasn’t open. The sign on the door said, “Sorry, we’re clothed”. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 Joke: Average Height The average height of a dwarf is 3 feet. That’s a little gnome fact. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 Joke: Bald Friend My friend went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him. He just can’t part with it. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 Joke: Free Space With Britain leaving the EU soon, how much space will be freed up? 1 GB Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 Joke: Two Quarts Mesmerized by the automatic milking machine, the pubescent young boy decided to place his member in one of the slots and have it milk him. The experiment proved highly successful, but when he was finished, he was unable to liberate himself. Unwillingly he called for his father. After examining the situating, the farmer headed for his truck. “Where are you going?” the boy cried. “To town, to get oysters. That machine there is set at two quarts.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 Joke: Go to the Back Seat This guy and his girlfriend were at 'Lookout Point', where the younger crowd went to make out. They started heavily making out guy thinking he was going to score asked the girl, "Do you want to go to the back seat?" She replies, "No!" So respecting her choice he kindly went back to making out with her. Ten minutes later he asks again, "Do you want to go to the back seat?" Once again she says "No!" and he goes back to work. Another ten minutes go by and he asks, "Do you want to go to the back?" She once again says, "No!" Pissed off he says, "Why the hell not?" "Because I want to stay up here with you!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 Joke: We Call It An Opportunity Man (to his boss): "Can we talk? I have a problem." Boss: "Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!" Man: "Ok then, I have a serious drinking opportunity." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: An Ode to Old Age There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by, And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie. My hair's getting thinner, my body is not; The few teeth I have are beginning to rot. I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5; My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive. When asked of my past, every detail I'll know, But what was I doing 10 minutes ago? Well, you get the idea, what more can I say? I'm off to read the obituary like I do every day; If my names not there, I'll once again start - Perfecting the art of falling apart. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: No Minus Button I just noticed the minus button is missing from my calculator. I guess it won’t make any difference. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: One-armed Karate What do you call a one-armed man doing karate? Partial arts. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Hearing Aid I sent my hearing aid in for repair 3 weeks ago. I’ve heard nothing since. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: A Night In Last night, I gave my girlfriend a medieval battle uniform to polish while I went to the bar… She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Dropped Ironing My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she had just ironed. I watched it all unfold. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Cheapskate My wife keeps telling me that I’m the cheapest person she has ever met in her life. I’m not buying it. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Motionless Dog I couldn’t understand why my dog was motionless. Then I realized… it was on paws. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Valentine’s Day Date Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day. February 14th. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: High Maintenance The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her. I said, “No. I can’t deal with high maintenance women.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Wife Apologized My wife apologized for the first time ever today. She said she’s sorry she ever married me. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Stolen Gate I came home to find two guys stealing my gate. I didn’t want to say anything in case they took a fence. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Change Dentist I had to change dentists. The last one hurt my fillings. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Strange Brain I finally figured out what’s wrong with my brain. On the left side, there is nothing right. On the right side, there is nothing left Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Special Talent I have a talent where I can see inside wrapped presents. It’s a gift. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Good Sounding Band Up next: How to sound good in a band. Stay tuned!! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Stupid Christmas Gift My wife said to me that if I got her another stupid gift this Christmas, she would burn it. So, I bought her a candle. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Ex-Postman I quit my job as a postman on my first day, right after they handed me my first letter to deliver. I looked at it and said, “This isn’t for me.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Furniture Arrangement I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture. But when I got home the tables were turned. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Only 4 I once fell in love with a girl who only knew 4 vowels. She didn’t know I existed. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Cash Machine I know loads of jokes about cash machines. I just can’t think of one atm. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: First Child I rang the doctor and said, “Quick! My pregnant wife’s going into labour, what should I do?” He said, “Is this her first child?” I said, “No, this is her husband.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Christmas Songs My wife said she was kicking me out of the house if I didn’t stop singing Christmas songs. I said, “But baby, it’s cold outside.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Breast Pump My wife won’t stop complaining about how long she spends breast-pumping for our new son. She’s really milking it for all it’s worth. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Skin Graft Does anyone know if its possible to take a skin graft from your buttocks and put it on somebody who isn’t family? Arse skin for a friend. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Golden Gate Bridge My wife and I are planning a trip to San Francisco to finally fulfil my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in person. She asked me, “What are you going to do when you see it at last?” I said, “Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Sentient Water Basin In a recent poll, 80% of people in America said they would not open their homes to a sentient water basin that walked up to their door and asked for shelter. Let that sink in. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Political Jokes I used to really enjoy political jokes… Unfortunately, too many of them got elected. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Before I Die… Before I die, I am going to eat a whole bag of un-popped popcorn. That should make the cremation a little more interesting. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Make The Bed Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed. Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to Ikea. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Social Vegan I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Dried Grapes I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Hot Co-worker After a long time, I told my hot co-worker how I felt. Turns out she felt the same way. So, I turned on the air conditioning. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: How Many Brexiteers? How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb? One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Fantasy Fulfilment I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight to fulfil my fantasy… That we have health insurance. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Deaf Wife My deaf wife just told me that “We need to talk.” That was not a good sign. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Glitter Balls So, there’s this guy going around dipping his testicles in glitter… It’s pretty nuts. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Joke: Successful Business I started a business building yachts in my attic. Sails are through the roof. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
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