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Joke: Every Time I Breathe


A Lady on a commuter train is reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics.

Fascinated, she turns to the man next to her and asks, “Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?”

“Really” he says. “Have you tried a good mouthwash?”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: What Sort of Girl 


Old business man to a beautiful young model, "Would you consider sleeping with me for a million dollars?"

“Hmmm. Yes, I think I would," she says.

"Well," he says, "how about five dollars then?"

“How dare you! What sort of girl do you think I am?”

"Honey, we’ve already established that. Now we are just fixing on the price."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Worst Day of My Life


Two bats are hanging upside down in a cave. The first bat asks the second, “Do you remember the worst day of your life?”

“I sure do," began the second bat. "It was the day I had diarrhea.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: What's That Hanging on the Hook?


The butcher lived in an apartment over his shop. One night he was awakened by strange noises, coming from the shop.

He tiptoed downstairs and observed that his 21-year-old daughter was sitting on the chopping block and was masturbating with a liverwurst. He sighed and tiptoed back to bed.

The next morning, one of his customers came in and asked for some liverwurst. The butcher explained that he did not have any.

The woman was annoyed. She pointed and said, “No liverwurst, eh? Well, what’s that hanging on the hook right over there?”

The embarrassed butcher frowned at her and replied, “That, lady, is my new son-in-law.”

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: The Latex Factory Tour


A tour group is being guided through a factory that manufactures all types of rubber products, everything from tires to rubber bands. The highlight of the tour is watching the latex condoms being peeled off the penis-shape molds, rolled up, and slipped into foil packets.

The guests are surprised, however, to notice that every so often, before the condoms are packaged, a man with a pin takes a random rubber off the assembly line and pokes a tiny hole in it.

One of the visitors cries out in shock to the tour guide, “Hey, why is he doing that? Don’t they know that those pinholes will cause thousands of unwanted pregnancies?”

“Yeah,” says the tour guide, “but just think of what it does for our ‘nipple’ division!”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Art Thief

A thief tried to steal the paintings at the Louvre in Paris.

 

He was caught two blocks away when he ran out of gas.

 

He said, “I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh. But I tried because I had nothing Toulouse.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Hole Was Too Small


While traveling in West Virginia a man noticed an old gentleman standing in his front yard with a shovel in his hand wiping the sweat from his brow crying.

Concerned, the man stopped and asked him what was wrong. "I just got finished burying Old Blue. The best old dog I ever had," he sobbed.

Looking around at six holes dug, the man asked him why he had to dig six holes to bury one dog.

He said "Boy, don't you know nuthin! The first five holes were too small."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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