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Posted

Joke: History

I’ve just spotted my ex-girlfriend standing on the other side of the museum.

 

I’m not going to go and say hi though.

 

There’s too much history between us.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Relatives

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative…

 

Announce that you won the lottery and you’ll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Worst Case Ever!

I went to the doctor’s and told him, “I feel like such a failure. All 5 of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”

 

He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Learning Braille

I asked my Dad, what it was like learning Braille, but he didn’t want to tell me.

 

I didn’t realize it was such a touchy subject.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Spoiled Kids

My wife said to me, “Honey, do you think our kids are spoiled?”

 

I said, “No, I think most kids smell that way.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Eat Your Food!

My mum used to feed my brother and I by saying, “Here comes the train”, and we always used to eat it straight away.

 

Otherwise, she wouldn’t untie us from the tracks.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Nice Find!

I found a hat with $17.50 in it.

 

I thought this other guy was going to pick it up.

 

But he was too busy juggling.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Marriage Phobia

The doctor told me I might have a marriage phobia and asked if I thought I had any symptoms.

 

I said, “I can’t say I do.”

 

He said, “Yeah, that’s the main one.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Soup Lover

When I was little, my Dad used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it.

 

I didn’t really – he was just putting words in my mouth.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Bad Impression

My wife has kicked me out of the house because of my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions.

 

But don’t worry…

 

I’ll return.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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