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Posted

Joke: Martial Arts

I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked if I could take two, he said no.

 

I said, “Can I at least Taekwondo?”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: High Maintenance

The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her.

 

I said, “No. I can’t deal with high maintenance women.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Weasel Drinker

A weasel walks into a bar.

 

The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”

 

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Golden with a Hops Flavour 


Two young fellows decided to open a microbrewery in the foothills. After several years of careful work, they produced a product with a golden straw-like colour and a good strong flavour of hops.

They sent it to the chemical lab at the State Department of Food Safety and after waiting impatiently for three weeks the lab analysis came back.

"Dear Sirs... Our analysis of the sample sent to us indicates that your horse has diabetes."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Sentient Water Basin

In a recent poll, 80% of people in America said they would not open their homes to a sentient water basin that walked up to their door and asked for shelter.

 

Let that sink in.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Christmas Songs

My wife said she was kicking me out of the house if I didn’t stop singing Christmas songs.

 

I said, “But baby, it’s cold outside.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Make The Bed

Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.

 

Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to Ikea.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

 

Joke: That's A Bit Much


After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

 

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That’s a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That’s still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I’d like to see something really cheap and nasty."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Strange Brain

I finally figured out what’s wrong with my brain.

 

On the left side, there is nothing right.

 

On the right side, there is nothing left.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Last Request

A murderer is about to be executed by electric chair and the priests asks if he has any last request.

 

The man asks for the priest to hold his hand.

 

Needless to say, the priest was shocked.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Negativity Jar

Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Every time I have pessimistic thoughts, I put a dollar in…

 

It’s currently half empty…

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Fish Cakes

A man walks into a seafood store carrying a trout under his arm.

 

“Do you make fish cakes?” he asked.

 

“Yes, we do,” replied the fishmonger.

 

“Great,” said the man, “It’s his birthday.”
 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Ikea Taxes

IKEA has been accused of evading over $500 million in taxes.

 

Apparently, prosecutors have been after them for years…

 

But they’re having a really hard time putting their case together.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Couples Therapy

The couple’s therapist said, “So, tell me what brings you here today?”

 

My wife said, “It’s really difficult to live with him. He’s so literal.”

 

I said, “My truck.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Skin Graft

Does anyone know if its possible to take a skin graft from your buttocks and put it on somebody who isn’t family?

 

Arse skin for a friend.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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