worldangel Posted August 29, 2022 Report Share Posted August 29, 2022 Joke: No Free Slurpees This Year 7/11 isn't giving out free slurpees this year! Instead of offering free slurpees, they will be offering discounted gas at a price of $7.11 a gallon. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 29, 2022 Report Share Posted August 29, 2022 Joke: Millenials I’m so tired of Millennials and their attitudes…. Always walking around like they rent the place. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 29, 2022 Report Share Posted August 29, 2022 Joke: Who Tells Dad Jokes What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad? A faux pa. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 29, 2022 Report Share Posted August 29, 2022 Joke: Grocery Shopping Danger Last week at the grocery store, I saw a man slipping celery into other people's shopping carts... I believe he was a stalker. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 29, 2022 Report Share Posted August 29, 2022 Joke: One Phone Call If I lock my keys in my car, all I have to do is call OnStar and they unlock my car. If the car is stolen, they can lock all the doors and trap the thief in the car. Whenever my wife tells me she is taking the car to go shopping, I call OnStar and tell them my car has been stolen. SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 Joke: Heart to Heart Talk A woman has a heart to heart talk with her sister. “Sis, I have two boyfriends and I’m very, very happy. One guy is kind, considerate, giving, and handsome.” “Then why do you need the second one?” “He’s straight.” SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 Joke: Northern vs Southern Fairy Tales What is the difference between a Southern fairy tale and a Northern fairy tale? A northern fairy tale starts out, "Once upon a time" and a southern fairy tale starts out, "Y'all ain’t gonna believe this shit!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 Joke: Shoot Already! Mr. and Mrs. Shaw were on a safari in darkest Africa. They were walking cautiously through the jungle when suddenly a huge lion sprang out in front of them, seized Mrs. Shaw in its jaws and started to drag her off into the bush. “Shoot!” she screamed to her husband. “Shoot!” “I can’t!” he yelled back. “I’ve run out of film!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 Joke: In Bed By Ten “If I’m not in bed by ten o’clock...” began one female barfly. "Yeah..." continued her friend. “Then I’m going home.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 Joke: Tell Me Truthfully Old Jack had moments to live. At his bedside were his family. His wife was there, as were his four sons, three of which had blonde hair. The other one had red hair. "Clara, I’ve always wondered why one of our sons had red hair. Tell me truthfully, is he really my son?" Clara put her hand on her heart and fervently swore that yes, he was his son. "Oh thank goodness," croaked the old man and he died with a smile on his face. As the family left, the room, the wife sighed deeply, "Good thing he didn’t ask about the other three." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2022 Report Share Posted September 2, 2022 Joke: Your Future Lover A high School cheerleader attends a wedding with her family. “Put a piece of wedding cake under your pillow, and you will dream of your future lover,” says her mother. The next morning, the mother asks, “Who did you see in your dreams?” Her daughter replies with a big grin, “The football team.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2022 Report Share Posted September 2, 2022 Joke: I Killed Your Chicken He accidentally kills his neighbour's chicken. He goes to her house to inform her and he says, "I accidentally killed your chicken, but I am willing to replace it." The neighbour looks at him, smiles, and says, "That depends, how many eggs can you lay in a week?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2022 Report Share Posted September 2, 2022 Joke: Mommy, What Are You Doing? A little boy walked in on his parents having sex. He sees his mom bouncing up and down on his dad, and he says "Mommy, what are you doing?" "Well, daddy's too fat so I thought I'd try to flatten him out." The boy replied, "Why bother, every Tuesday the maid comes over and blows him back up again!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2022 Report Share Posted September 2, 2022 Joke: The Woman Is Extremely Hot A hot girl walks into the doctor's office and sits down. The doctor sees that the woman is extremely hot. He walks up and wastes no time, he slides his hands up her shirt and starts caressing her boobs and says, "Do you know what I’m doing?" She says, "Yes, you are feeling for cancer right?" "Yeah, o yeah." After that he starts taking off the woman’s pants and starts massaging her thighs and says, "Do you know what I’m doing now?" "Yes, you are feeling for cancer right?" "Yes, that's exactly it, feeling for cancer." After that he pulls off his pants gets on top of her and says, "Do you know what I’m doing now?" She says, "Yes I do! You are checking for genital warts because you know that’s why I came here." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2022 Report Share Posted September 3, 2022 Joke: A Tractor Or A Horse A city slicker was walking down a country road when he saw a farmer plowing his field with a bull. “Shouldn’t you be using a tractor or a horse?” the slicker asked. “I got both,” the farmer said. “Then why are you using that bull?” "I’m trying to teach him that he ain’t here just for romance.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2022 Report Share Posted September 3, 2022 Joke: Do You Smoke? Two prostitutes are talking and one says, "Do you smoke when you finish?" The other replies, "I don't know, I never checked." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2022 Report Share Posted September 3, 2022 Joke: We Don't Know A Thing At a country club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Right away he began flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after an hour he seriously proposed marriage. “Look,” she said. “We only met an hour ago. There is no way you could be so sure. We don’t know a thing about each other.” “You are wrong,” the young man declared. “For the past seven years I’ve been working in the bank where your father has his business account.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2022 Report Share Posted September 3, 2022 Gay Joke: Baby From Surrogate Mother Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the gays' delight, she points out the happy child as theirs. "Isn't it wonderful?" Brad exclaims. "All these unhappy children and ours is so happy.” The nurse says, "He's happy now ... but just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 3, 2022 Report Share Posted September 3, 2022 Joke: What Does Your Wife Think? A man goes to a doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?" "Oh, that’s not a problem anymore," announces the proud physician. "They're plenty of drugs that do the trick. You take some pills and your problems are history." So, the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry way. A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the street. "Doctor, doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I’ve got to thank you! This drug is a miracle! It’s wonderful!" "Well, I’m glad to hear that," says the physician. “What does your wife think about it?" "Wife?" asks the man. "I haven’t been home yet!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2022 Report Share Posted September 4, 2022 Joke: Several Times A Night A researcher phones one of the participants in a recent survey to check on a discrepancy. He asked the man, “In response to the question on frequency of intercourse you answered ‘twice weekly.’ Your wife, on the other hand, answered ‘several times a night’.” “That’s right,” replies the man, “And that’s how it’s going to stay until our second mortgage is paid off.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2022 Report Share Posted September 4, 2022 Joke: Go Out Like My Grandfather Two men are talking about how they want to leave the world. “I’d like to go out like my uncle,” says the first man. “He died at the race track.” The second man says he’d like to go out like his grandfather. “He just died peacefully. Fell asleep and never woke up or made a sound. Nothing like the people riding in his bus.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2022 Report Share Posted September 4, 2022 Joke: Let's Play Navy "Want to play Navy?" "How do we do that?" "I lay down and you blow the seamen out of me. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2022 Report Share Posted September 4, 2022 Joke: Exposed Underwear Susan is great at doing head stands. She was advised by her mum not to practise it in her new school since her underwear is usually exposed. Susan was proud at her achievement after her first day in school and was eager to tell Mum about the great audience of boys she attracted at school when showing off her skills. Mother reminded her about exposing her panties of which Susan replied, "No Mum they were not seeing my panties." "How come sweetie?" said Mum. "Because I took them off Mum," she replied. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2022 Report Share Posted September 4, 2022 Gay Joke: Mouth to Mouth Two fire-fighters are butt f*cking in a smoke-filled room. The fire chief walks in and says, “What the hell is going on in here?!” The Fire-fighter says, “Well Sir, this man has got smoke inhalation.” The Chief says, “Why didn’t you give him mouth to mouth?” The Fire-fighter says, “How do you think this shit got started?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 4, 2022 Report Share Posted September 4, 2022 Joke: For My Wife and Myself A couple steeped up to the desk clerk of one of the city’s hotel. “I’d like a room with a bath for my wife and myself," said the young man. “I’m terrible sorry, sir,” said the clerk, “but the only room available doesn’t have a bath, only a shower.” “Will that be all right with you, darling?” the man asked the young woman at his side. “Sure, mister,” she said. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2022 Report Share Posted September 5, 2022 Joke: She So Fat Yo momma is so fat… She is so fat that when she went to an all-you-can eat buffet, they had to install speed bumps! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2022 Report Share Posted September 5, 2022 Joke: Just Making Money "I'm beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money." "Why do you say that?" "Listen to this from his bill, 'For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $25. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2022 Report Share Posted September 5, 2022 Joke: What Part Never Rusts? What parts of Popeye never rusts? The parts he puts in Olive Oil. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2022 Report Share Posted September 5, 2022 Joke: Then She Was Gone A woman had been in a coma for a while. Her doctors told her husband that they had tried everything they could and that she was near death. There was only one experimental procedure left to try to revive her and that would be oral sex. The husband agreed to try. They provided privacy for the couple and watched the monitor of her condition... blip ... blip... BLIP... then flat line... she was gone. The husband came out shaking his head and said, "I hope I didn't choke her." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2022 Report Share Posted September 5, 2022 Joke: It's the Dampness A couple in their eighties just got married and is on their honeymoon. In the hotel room she slips into something sexy and crawls into bed and waits for her new groom. He's in the bathroom sprucing himself up. She waits and waits until she can't wait any longer. She gets up and goes to the bathroom and opens the door. Peering in she sees him bent over on the toilet trying to put on a condom. She giggles, "Honey what are you doing? I'm 86 years old and can't get pregnant anymore." He looks up at her and says, "I know, but honey, you know how dampness affects my arthritis." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 6, 2022 Report Share Posted September 6, 2022 Joke: Shipwreck Diary Shipwreck Diary... Day 1: Alone, doing well. Mentally Sound. Met a crab. Day 2: I have married the crab. Day 3: I have eaten my wife. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 6, 2022 Report Share Posted September 6, 2022 Joke: A Favorite Snack What is a foot fetishist’s favourite snack? Free-toes Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 6, 2022 Report Share Posted September 6, 2022 Joke: Teaching Method Jack and his friend walk into a restaurant when they happen to bump into the Jack’s former teacher. Introducing his teacher, Jack says, “This is Mr. Miller, my high school teacher who always used to correct me and taught me everything I know.” “Young man,” said Mr. Miller, “you mean I taught you everything you didn’t know, don’t you? I’m not in the habit of teaching students what they already know.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 6, 2022 Report Share Posted September 6, 2022 Joke: Pregnancy Weight Our catering manager lacks certain social skills...like knowing when to keep her mouth shut. While discussing a baby christening party with a young couple, she told the mother, "You look like you've lost most of your pregnancy weight." "Thanks," came the clenched-teeth reply. "We adopted." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 6, 2022 Report Share Posted September 6, 2022 Joke: Tired Traveler A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight. Very tired after a long day's trip, he asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait, and he disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the woman on his arm. “Fancy meeting my 'wife' here,” he says to the clerk. “Guess I will need a double room for the night.” The next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds the amount to be over $3000. “What is the meaning of this?” he yells at the clerk. “I have only been here for one night!” “Yes,” says the clerk, “but your 'wife' has been here for three weeks!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 7, 2022 Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 Joke: Given Larger Brains Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they won’t hump your leg at a cocktail party. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 7, 2022 Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 Joke: Death Of His Father The applicant for life insurance was finding it difficult to fill out the application. The salesman asked what the trouble was, and the man said that he couldn't answer the question about the cause of death of his father. The salesman wanted to know why. After some embarrassment the client explained that his father had been hanged. The salesman pondered for a moment. "Just write: 'Father was taking part in a public function when the platform gave way.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 7, 2022 Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 Joke: I Purchased Twelve Dozen Storming into the drugstore first thing Monday morning, the young man slammed a carton and a receipt down on the counter. “I came in here on Friday and purchased twelve dozen condoms,” he yelled at the pharmacist. “Well, I counted them. There’s only eleven dozen here!” Looking at the man square in the eye, the pharmacist apologetically said, “So sorry, sir, to have ruined your weekend.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 7, 2022 Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 Gay Joke: There were these two friends, ... There were these two friends, one who was gay, who died in a horrible car accident. They both went to heaven and were standing at the pearly gates when St. Peter met them. St. Peter asked the first man for a picture of his wife. After looking at the picture, St. Peter asked him if he had ever cheated on her. The man replied, "I was unfaithful to my wife one time." St. Peter decided to give the man a station-wagon for him to drive around heaven. Now it was the second man's turn. St. Peter asked him for a picture of his wife and then asked if he had ever cheated on her. The man replied, "Actually I'm gay, but here's a picture of my lover, and I never cheated on him." St. Peter was very impressed and decided to give the man a Ferrari to drive around heaven. After a few months in heaven, the two friends met up with each other. The second man was bragging about his Ferrari when the other turned to him and said, "I wouldn't be bragging if I were you. I just saw your lover on a skateboard." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 7, 2022 Report Share Posted September 7, 2022 Joke: 3 Knots Two old sailors were talking after being out at sea for 3 months. One said, "When I get to shore I am going to have a super sauna, hot shower, and then find a loose woman." The other said, "Well, good luck to you mate." Later on shore, this old sailor found his loose woman and takes her to his hotel room. Then does what an old sailor would do in those circumstances. After while he says to her, "Well, how am I doing?" She replied, "About 3 knots." "What do mean by that?” the old sailor replied. She said, " One, you're not hard. Two, you're not in. And three, you’re not getting your money back." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2022 Report Share Posted September 8, 2022 Joke: A Million Slaps What happens when someone slaps you a million times in one second? It mega hertz. yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2022 Report Share Posted September 8, 2022 Joke: Mom Again The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Sure," she replied, "but not the same ones." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2022 Report Share Posted September 8, 2022 Joke: Fast Calculations Jack: “I am a master of fast calculations.” Jenny: “Okay, what is 758 times 642, divided by 5?” Jack: “22!” Jenny: “Ha-ha, that’s wrong!” Jack: “I said I was fast, I didn't say anything about accurate!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2022 Report Share Posted September 8, 2022 Gay Joke: Three desperately ill men met Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die." The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead. His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2022 Report Share Posted September 8, 2022 Joke: No More Complaining An elderly couple decided they just spent too much time and energy complaining about all their aches and pains. “Let’s agree to not say a word about our ailments,” suggested the wife. “We’ll talk about something else or say nothing at all.” “Great idea!” replied the husband. Two months later, they got a message from Alexa. “Alexa is wondering if you are both OK. For the past two months we have picked up no verbal communication in your household.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2022 Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 Joke: That Was Exciting “Well,” exclaimed the young woman as she and her date left the movie theater, “that certainly was exciting!" "I agree," adds the date. She replies, "I wonder if the film was any good...” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2022 Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 Joke: Cooking With A Condom Why did the Thanksgiving chef cook with a condom? To practice safe stuffin'. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2022 Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 Joke: What Are You Laughing About? Two guys were walking through the jungle and got captured by a group of cannibals. The cannibals put them in a huge pot and start to boil the water. All of a sudden one of the guys started laughing. "What are you laughing about?" the other guy says, "We are about to be eaten!" And the other man replies, "I peed in their soup!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 9, 2022 Report Share Posted September 9, 2022 Joke: How Did You Know? A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry?" She immediately replies, "The one on the right." "That's amazing, Mama. You're right. How did you know?" The mother replies, "I don't like her." SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2022 Report Share Posted September 10, 2022 Joke: The Ewok Crossed the Road - How did the ewok get across the road? E-walked! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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