worldangel Posted October 12, 2022 Report Share Posted October 12, 2022 Joke: Hard of Hearing Her: Could you loan me ten dollars please? Him: What did you say? Her (a bit louder): Could you loan me twenty dollars please? Him: I thought you asked for ten! SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 12, 2022 Report Share Posted October 12, 2022 Joke: Political Promises A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were. ”We have 2 basic needs sir,” replied the villager. “Firstly, we have a hospital, but there’s no doctor.” On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem. “Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.” SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 14, 2022 Report Share Posted October 14, 2022 Joke: Worst Day of My Life Two bats are hanging upside down in a cave. The first bat asks the second, “Do you remember the worst day of your life?” “I sure do," began the second bat. "It was the day I had diarrhea.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 14, 2022 Report Share Posted October 14, 2022 Joke: In Your Pants Man: "Is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants!" Woman: "Sorry, but there's already one asshole in there!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 14, 2022 Report Share Posted October 14, 2022 Joke: The Latex Factory Tour A tour group is being guided through a factory that manufactures all types of rubber products, everything from tires to rubber bands. The highlight of the tour is watching the latex condoms being peeled off the penis-shape molds, rolled up, and slipped into foil packets. The guests are surprised, however, to notice that every so often, before the condoms are packaged, a man with a pin takes a random rubber off the assembly line and pokes a tiny hole in it. One of the visitors cries out in shock to the tour guide, “Hey, why is he doing that? Don’t they know that those pinholes will cause thousands of unwanted pregnancies?” “Yeah,” says the tour guide, “but just think of what it does for our ‘nipple’ division!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 14, 2022 Report Share Posted October 14, 2022 Joke: What's That Hanging on the Hook? The butcher lived in an apartment over his shop. One night he was awakened by strange noises, coming from the shop. He tiptoed downstairs and observed that his 21-year-old daughter was sitting on the chopping block and was masturbating with a liverwurst. He sighed and tiptoed back to bed. The next morning, one of his customers came in and asked for some liverwurst. The butcher explained that he did not have any. The woman was annoyed. She pointed and said, “No liverwurst, eh? Well, what’s that hanging on the hook right over there?” The embarrassed butcher frowned at her and replied, “That, lady, is my new son-in-law.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 15, 2022 Report Share Posted October 15, 2022 Joke: Mating Season A man was at a zoo and noticed one of the Orangutans dressing up and combing his hair. The man asked the Orangutan, “Why are you getting all dressed up?” The Orangutan answered, “Mating season starts today.” “Orangutans have a mating season?” “Don't Humans have a mating season?” The lonely man responded, “Is anytime I can get it a season?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 15, 2022 Report Share Posted October 15, 2022 Joke: Do You Have Cable? I met this girl in a bar, and one thing leads to another. I said, "Let's go back to my place." She said, "Oh, do you have cable?" I said, "No, but I have some old ropes that should hold just fine." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 15, 2022 Report Share Posted October 15, 2022 Joke: Don't Touch Mine A little boy and girl were in a bathtub taking a bath. The girl starts getting a little curious and reaches out to touch the little boy's penis. The little boy pushes her hand out of the way and says, “Hey! Don’t touch mine, you already broke yours." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 15, 2022 Report Share Posted October 15, 2022 Joke: Having My Ass Bleached Two women having lunch together are discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, “I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob job.” The second woman says, “Oh that’s nothing. I’m thinking of having my ass bleached.” To which the first replies, “Whoa! I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 16, 2022 Report Share Posted October 16, 2022 Joke: Witches and Babies Why can't witches have babies? Because their husbands have crystal balls. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 16, 2022 Report Share Posted October 16, 2022 Joke: You Think It's Rigged? A private eye is showing Stanley movies of Mrs. Stanley in bed with other men. She's on the beach, at a football game during halftime, and all kinds of crazy places doing just about everything. After viewing all this Stanley says, “I refuse to believe it!” The private eye rather mortified says, “What? You think I rigged the evidence?” Stanley says, “No, of course not. I just can’t believe my wife could be so much fun." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 16, 2022 Report Share Posted October 16, 2022 Joke: That's A Bit Much After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That’s a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That’s still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I’d like to see something really cheap and nasty." The clerk handed him a mirror. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 16, 2022 Report Share Posted October 16, 2022 Joke: Red Hair Baby The gynaecologist is surprised to see one of his patient’s husbands in his waiting room. “What can I do for you Mr. Doyle?” the doctor asks. “I’m worried because our new baby has red hair.” “Why is that such a concern?” “I have black hair, my wife has black hair and all four of our parents have black hair.” “How often do you have sex?” asks the doctor. “Oh, I guess about twice a year,” Doyle says, sheepishly. “That explains it,” says the doctor. “The red hair is from rust.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 17, 2022 Report Share Posted October 17, 2022 Joke: Did You Come on the Bus? Two older women meet at bingo. "You're late this week Ethel," says one woman to the other. "Did you come on the bus?" "Yes," replied Ethel, "but I managed to pass it off as an asthma attack!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 17, 2022 Report Share Posted October 17, 2022 Joke: I've Lost My Wife The man approached the very beautiful woman in the supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asked. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 17, 2022 Report Share Posted October 17, 2022 Joke: Automatic Water Mister The new neighbourhood supermarket has an automatic water mister to Keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn. I don't buy toilet paper there anymore! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 17, 2022 Report Share Posted October 17, 2022 Joke: Whether You're Here or Not A typical macho man married a good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules. He said, “I’ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want. And I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don’t you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?” His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night... whether you’re here or not.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 18, 2022 Report Share Posted October 18, 2022 Joke: A Condom and A Stiff What do a condom and a coffin have in common? Both hold stiffs. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 18, 2022 Report Share Posted October 18, 2022 Joke: Please Enter Password Bob was helping Jim get his computer set up. Jim had to enter a password. Jim put in “Penis”. The computer replied, "Password to small. Please try again." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 18, 2022 Report Share Posted October 18, 2022 Joke: You Hump One A guy takes a trip to Ireland, walks in a local pub and orders a beer. Strikes up a conversation with the man next to him. "I’ve had a hard life," he says with a deep Irish accent. The man asks, “What’s so hard about it?" "You see that wall over there? Two years of my life I spent on that wall. Do they ever call me Patrick the wall builder? No. You see that road over there? Five years of my life to build that road. Do they ever call me Patrick the road builder? No." "Bar keep, a shot for this man," says the man next to him. "You see that house over there? Ten years of my life to build that house, ever call me Patrick the house builder? No, no... BUT YOU HUMP ONE GOAT!!!! AND YOU ARE PATRICK THE GOAT HUMPER FOR LIFE!!!!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 18, 2022 Report Share Posted October 18, 2022 Joke: Grudge Pregnancy A man told the doctor, "My wife’s pregnant, but we haven’t had sex in over a year. I don’t understand it." The doctor said, "It’s what we in the medical profession call a grudge pregnancy." "What’s a grudge pregnancy?" asked the man. The doctor replied, "Well, somebody’s obviously had it in for you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 19, 2022 Report Share Posted October 19, 2022 Joke: New To The Business She was new to the porn business… When the director told her to do it doggie-style, she lifted her left leg and peed. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 19, 2022 Report Share Posted October 19, 2022 Joke: Opinionated Ex My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was a bad lover... You should have seen her face when they all disagreed. yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 19, 2022 Report Share Posted October 19, 2022 Joke: A Custom Shirt Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 19, 2022 Report Share Posted October 19, 2022 Joke: You Want It Pasteurized? A blonde heard that milk baths make you beautiful so she left a note for the milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify her request. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I am going to fill my bathtub with milk and take a milk bath." The milkman asked, "You want it pasteurized?" The blonde replied, "No, just up to my nipples." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 20, 2022 Report Share Posted October 20, 2022 Joke: Chicken Farms I read the mass chicken farms pump chickens full of antibiotics. Well, that would at least explain why chicken soup is so good when you have a cold. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 20, 2022 Report Share Posted October 20, 2022 Joke: Proof of Transaction What do you call a receipt for the transfer of a wind-powered boat? Either a bill-of-sail or a sails-receipt. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 20, 2022 Report Share Posted October 20, 2022 Joke: It Happened to Inky My older brother, Lenny, loved to tell the story of what happened to our cocker spaniel, Inky. It seems Lenny was using an open bowl of gasoline to wash some parts for the transmission he was repairing. Distracted by a customer, he returned to his project to find Inky drinking the gasoline from the bowl. He yelled at the dog, who took off running. In fact, Inky ran around the house three times before finally falling over. The neighbours came running over to see what had happened to Inky. "Is he dead?" asked our neighbour Ruth. "No," Lenny replied. "I think he ran out of gas." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 20, 2022 Report Share Posted October 20, 2022 Joke: Airport Mix-Up During the ‘rush hour’ at Houston’s Hobby Airport, a flight was delayed due to a mechanical problem. Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew worked on it. The passengers were then told the new gate number, which was some distance away. Everyone moved to the new gate, only to find a third gate had been designated for them. After some further shuffling, everyone got on board, and as they were settling in, the flight attendant made the standard announcement "We apologize for the inconvenience of this last-minute gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., then you should exit the plane at this time." A very confused-looking and red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. "Sorry," he said, "wrong plane." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 22, 2022 Report Share Posted October 22, 2022 My Cheating Letters My girlfriend is furious with me because she found a bunch of hidden letters that revealed I was cheating on her. Now she refuses to play Scrabble at all. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 22, 2022 Report Share Posted October 22, 2022 Joke: Bought A Dog I once bought a dog off a blacksmith. As soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 22, 2022 Report Share Posted October 22, 2022 Joke: Does Your Eye Hurt Does your left eye hurt? Because you've been looking right all day. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 22, 2022 Report Share Posted October 22, 2022 Joke: Dogs and Marine Biologists What is the difference between dogs and marine biologists? One wags a tail, and the other tags a whale. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 22, 2022 Report Share Posted October 22, 2022 Joke: Filling Up At a petrol station, my husband, Jason watched an older lady fill up her car. As he was wondering whether or not someone her age should still be driving, she pulled up to him, rolled down the window and said, "Excuse me, sir... My husband walked over, "How can I help you?" "What year is it?" she asked. Feeling sorry for her, he replied, kindly, "It's 2022, ma'am." The lady looked at him strangely and said, "No, your car. What year is your car?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 Joke: Ya Gotta Hook Em' To Cook Em' Did you hear about the angler who baited his hook with peanut butter? All he would catch was jellyfish! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 Joke: Just Throw Them Out Me: "The kids haven’t eaten their sandwiches." Wife: "Okay, just throw them out." [Later] Me (helping the kids pack a suitcase): “Look, I’m just as surprised as you are.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 Joke: Sex Before Marriage Sex before marriage is considered a sin... Sex after marriage is considered a miracle! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 Joke: A Bad Marriage A dentist married a manicurist... They fought tooth and nail. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 Joke: I Ain't Even Seen Them Four-year-old Johnny was eating a hot dog when he dropped it on the floor. He quickly picked it up and was about to take another bite when his mom said, "No, Johnny, you can't eat that now it has germs." Johnny pondered the thought a moment and replied, "Goodness, germs, and Santa Claus - that's all I ever hear about and I haven't seen one of 'em yet!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 24, 2022 Report Share Posted October 24, 2022 Joke: Our Theme Song "A-A-R-P, I wanna join the A-A-R-P..." "Hey Joe, what's that you're singing?" "I'm one of the Retirement Village People, and I'm practicing for our upcoming concert!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 24, 2022 Report Share Posted October 24, 2022 Joke: Dating Vs. Marriage Dating is like traveling on a bicycle. If you don’t like the journey, you can get off anytime. Marriage is like traveling by airplane. Once you’re in, you can’t get off that easy. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 24, 2022 Report Share Posted October 24, 2022 Joke: It's Been 11 Years "I have not seen my husband for eleven years,” the wife said. “Be patient,” advised the lawyer. “Maybe he has taken up golf.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 24, 2022 Report Share Posted October 24, 2022 Joke: I Must Have A Drill "Pardon me for a moment, please," said the dentist to the patient. "Everything ok, doc?" asked the patient. "Oh yes, but before beginning this work I must have my drill." "Good heavens, man!" exclaimed the patient irritably. "Can't you pull a tooth without a rehearsal?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 24, 2022 Report Share Posted October 24, 2022 Joke: Goodyear Blimp Q: What's the difference between a blimp and 300 blowjobs? A: One is a Goodyear, and one is a GREAT year! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 24, 2022 Report Share Posted October 24, 2022 Joke: Forget My Wife Two guys, one a senior and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy. “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” The young guy says, “That’s okay. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a bit anxious.” The old guy says, “Well maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?" The young guy says, “She is 28 years-old, tall, with brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she’s wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?” The old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, let’s look for yours.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 Joke: Blow Bubbles Do you remember when you used to blow bubbles? Well he's back in town and he wants your number! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 Joke: Saggy Boobs What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support or people will think we're nuts!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 Joke: Sex Every Night At a party, an older couple is talking to a young one. The young man says to the old man, “I’ve heard that when you get up in years, you can’t have sex anymore. Is that true?” “I don’t know where you heard that, young man, but we have sex almost every night!” the older gent replies. “Really?” “Sure. Almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday…” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 Joke: Eyes Pop Out A BMW asks a VW Beetle, "Why do your eyes pop out of your body like that?" The beetle replied, "Let them stick an engine up your ass and see what happens to your eyes!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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