worldangel Posted September 10, 2022 Report Share Posted September 10, 2022 Joke: Mutual Orgasm A young married woman and an older married woman sitting together on a train. As sometimes happens with strangers in such an environment, they began to discuss highly personal matters. As they were passing through a village, the younger woman spoke up thoughtfully, “Tell me, do you and your husband have mutual orgasms?” “No,” replied the older lady, “I think we have State Farm.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2022 Report Share Posted September 10, 2022 Joke: Send Me the Pearl An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the ship watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat; it read: ”Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife’s body at the bottom of the ocean. We brought her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster that has a pearl worth $500,000. Please advice." The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 11, 2022 Report Share Posted September 11, 2022 Joke: The Square Who Fell in Love Why did the square fall in love with the right triangle? She had the right legs. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 11, 2022 Report Share Posted September 11, 2022 Joke: Win A Nobel Peace Prize A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?" The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Peace Prize." "How?" asks the man, puzzled. "Well I heard they give the Nobel Peace Prize to people who are out standing in their field." SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 11, 2022 Report Share Posted September 11, 2022 Joke: A Minute Sooner “How did this accident occur?” asked the doctor. “Well,” explained the patient, “I was making love to my girlfriend on the living room rug when, all of a sudden, the chandelier came crashing down on us.” “Fortunately, you’ve only sustained some minor lacerations on your buttocks,” the doctor said. “You are a very lucky man.” “You said it, doc,” exclaimed the man. “A minute sooner and it could have fractured my skull!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 12, 2022 Report Share Posted September 12, 2022 Joke: She So Nasty Yo momma is so nasty… That I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 12, 2022 Report Share Posted September 12, 2022 Joke: It Was Grandma's Idea A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck... so this was your Grandma's idea." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 12, 2022 Report Share Posted September 12, 2022 Joke: It's Not Easy Two 9-year-old boys were playing in the waiting room of a pediatrician. One was noticeably more apprehensive about seeing the doctor. So the other one asked, "What are you seeing the doctor about?" The apprehensive boy replied, "I'm having a circumcision." The other boy immediately understood and said, "Yeah, it's not easy. I had my circumcision just after I was born, and I have to tell you, I didn't walk for a whole year!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2022 Report Share Posted September 13, 2022 Joke: The Fruits of Love Billy Joe and his bride are on their honeymoon when their car breaks down. They make it to a farmer’s house, and the farmer agrees to let them spend the night. The next morning he yells up to them, “It is 11 o’clock. Are you coming down to breakfast?” Billy Joe yells back, “We’re living on the fruits of love.” The farmer yells, “Terrific. Live on the fruits of love. But would you please quit chuckn’ the peels out the window? You’re chokin’ my ducks.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2022 Report Share Posted September 13, 2022 Joke: It's Not Bubble Gum Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine were these words… "Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2022 Report Share Posted September 13, 2022 Joke: My Wife and the Paperboy A man comes home from work early and suddenly discovers that his wife is giving the paperboy a BJ. He starts screaming at her, “How could you give the paperboy a BJ when it’s the milkman we owe?!?!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 14, 2022 Report Share Posted September 14, 2022 Joke: The Essay Assignment A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, sex, mystery. The prize winning essay read: "My God!" said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 14, 2022 Report Share Posted September 14, 2022 Joke: You Want, Yes? A young guy was laying on his back on a massage table, wearing only a towel over his groin. A young, very attractive girl was massaging his shoulders, then his chest, and gradually worked her way down his torso. The guy was getting sexually excited as the masseur approached the towel. The towel began to lift and the Swedish girl arched her eyebrows. “You wantt, yes?” she asked, acknowledging his state of arousal. “You bet!” was the excited reply. “Okay,” she said. “I come back in then minutes.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 14, 2022 Report Share Posted September 14, 2022 Joke: Pig A man was driving round a corner and was barely missed by a female driver coming the other way. She hung out of the window and shouted, "PIG!" In reply, the man shouted, "Bitch!" They continued their own separate journeys around the corner. As the man turned the corner, there was a pig in the middle of the road. He swerved over a hill and died a fiery death. Moral of the story: Listen to women, they are always right. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 14, 2022 Report Share Posted September 14, 2022 Joke: What Were You Doing In Bed? A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. “You aren’t good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 15, 2022 Report Share Posted September 15, 2022 Joke: A Tongue Lashing We know of a cautious young man… Who upon discovering that his girlfriend had forgotten to take the pill one night… He gave her a good tongue-lashing! yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 15, 2022 Report Share Posted September 15, 2022 Joke: Looking for Some Deodorant A man walks into a drugstore where a clerk greets him, "Can I help you, sir?" The man replies, "I’m looking for some deodorant." "Oh," says the clerk. "Ball or aerosol?" "Neither," says the man. "I want it for my armpits." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 15, 2022 Report Share Posted September 15, 2022 Joke: Who Enjoys It More While having drinks a man and a woman got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this... when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better - your ear or your finger?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 15, 2022 Report Share Posted September 15, 2022 Joke: I Almost Did Something Awful Bob and his wife take separate vacations for the first time. When they get back home, Bob confesses, “Dear, I almost did something awful. One night at the hotel I dance with a nice-looking woman. Then we had some drinks, and I wound up in her room. She pulled down the covers, we took off our clothes, and I actually crawled on top of her. But before anything happened, I thought of you, hopped off her, and ran to my room. What do you have to say about that?" His wife says, “You are lucky. You were on top.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 16, 2022 Report Share Posted September 16, 2022 Joke: Plenty of Fish in the Sea “Cheer up,” the lawyer advised his recently divorced colleague. “There are plenty of other fish in the sea.” “Maybe so,” replied his despondent friend, “but the last one took all my bait.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 16, 2022 Report Share Posted September 16, 2022 Joke: Whatcha Looking At? The beautiful woman had just stepped out of the bathtub in her hotel suite and was about to reach for a towel when she caught sight of a window washer taking in all of her charms. Too stunned to move, she stood staring at the man. “Whatcha lookin’ at, lady?” he finally asked. “Ain’tcha never seen a window washer before?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 16, 2022 Report Share Posted September 16, 2022 Joke: Anyone Got A Problem? A construction worker walks into a bar. He's a rather large, menacing guy. He orders a beer, chugs it back, and then bellows, "All you guys on this side of the bar are cocksuckers!" A sudden silence descends. After a moment, he asks, "Anyone got a problem with that?" The silence lengthens. He then chugs back another beer and growls, "And all you guys on this side of the bar are motherfuckers!" Once again, the bar is silent. He looks around belligerently and roars, "Anyone got a problem with that?" A lone man gets up from his stool unsteadily and starts to walk towards the man. The construction worker looks the man square in the eye and says, "You got a problem, buddy?" "Oh no," insists the man. "I'm just on the wrong side of the bar." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 16, 2022 Report Share Posted September 16, 2022 Joke: Did You See Me? A man walks into a bank, gets in line, and when it is his turn he pulls out a gun and robs the bank. Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The customer replies, "Yes!" The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the customer's head, and BANG! Shoots him dead. He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man calmly responds, "No... but my wife did." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 17, 2022 Report Share Posted September 17, 2022 Joke: Crime of Silence A friend of mine got kidnapped by a group of mimes... They did unspeakable things to him! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 17, 2022 Report Share Posted September 17, 2022 Joke: Late Again The boss says, "This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?" The employee replies, "That it's only Wednesday?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 17, 2022 Report Share Posted September 17, 2022 Joke: My Wedding Day It was my wedding day, and no one was happier than my 78-year-old mother. But as she approached the church doors, an usher asked, “Which side are you on?” “Oh, no,” she said. “Are they fighting already?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 17, 2022 Report Share Posted September 17, 2022 Joke: A Fellow Jets Fan A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The game begins with the Jets receiving a kick-off. They march down field stop at the 30 and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five. The bartender says, "Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?" "I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 17, 2022 Report Share Posted September 17, 2022 Joke: The Baby Bottle Nipple Factory A fellow was going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine made a loud 'hiss-pop!' noise. "The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explained the guide. "The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple." Later, the tour reached the part of the factory where condoms were manufactured. The machine made a noise: "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!" "Wait a minute!" said the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss' is, but what's 'pop!' every so often?" "Oh, it's rather like the baby-bottle nipple machine," said the guide, "but here the needle pokes a hole in every fourth condom." "Well, that can't be good for the condoms!" "No," the guide said, "but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 18, 2022 Report Share Posted September 18, 2022 Joke: Which Smells Best Which ant smells the best? De-odor-ANT! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 18, 2022 Report Share Posted September 18, 2022 Joke: Getting Old You know you are getting old when your boss hires a new employee... And you find out that you used to hang around with their grandpa when you were growing up. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 18, 2022 Report Share Posted September 18, 2022 Joke: Horse and Ice Cream A horse walked into a soda fountain and ordered an ice cream sundae with chocolate ice cream and strawberry syrup, sprinkled with nuts. The young man behind the counter brought the sundae to the horse, who finished it off with great pleasure. Noticing how the young man stared at him as he ate, the horse said, “I suppose you think it’s strange that a horse should come into a soda fountain and order a sundae with chocolate ice cream and strawberry syrup, sprinkled with nuts?” “Not at all,” the young man replied. “I like it that way myself.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 19, 2022 Report Share Posted September 19, 2022 Joke: Tell the Truth When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?” I said, “No, not particularly." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 19, 2022 Report Share Posted September 19, 2022 Joke: Parking A Boat If the Internet had a boat, where would they park it? In Google Docs. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 19, 2022 Report Share Posted September 19, 2022 Joke: What Is A Pessimist? What is a Pessimist? The real world dictionary defines a 'pessimist' as an optimist with no experience. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 19, 2022 Report Share Posted September 19, 2022 Joke: And Scene "Are you an actress, auntie?" "No darling, why do you ask?" "Because Daddy says whenever you come over, we have a scene." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 19, 2022 Report Share Posted September 19, 2022 Joke: Isn't It Bedtime Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined give me very dry skin. One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands with petroleum jelly and covered them with an old pair of white gloves. As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering and came into the room wearing a towel. Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and put it on."What are you doing?" I asked. "Well," he replied, "if you're going to be formal, so am I." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 20, 2022 Report Share Posted September 20, 2022 Joke: All Undressed And No Place To Go A husband went to the refrigerator and checked to see what was edible. He found a salad in a container and called to his wife, “How long has this salad been around?” She replied, “I don’t know. It’s probably lost its dressing.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 20, 2022 Report Share Posted September 20, 2022 Joke: Afterlife Welcome A man dies and goes to heaven. As he walks towards the heaven, he passes by the hell. His curiosity gets better of him and he peeks inside and sees people laughing, singing, a band playing heartily and people are all dancing. He thinks to himself, "If hell is this lively, I cannot wait to see what heaven looks like." He proceeds and walks into heaven. Heaven is all quiet, serene, birds chirping, flowers blooming, sun is shining. He looks around and sees a man sitting leisurely under a tree. He walks up to him and says, "I just peeped into hell and there everyone was laughing, singing, dancing and they even had a band playing great music. In contrast, it's so quiet in here. The man sitting says, "What did you think? Should we have hired a band here too just for one person?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 20, 2022 Report Share Posted September 20, 2022 Joke: The Big Get Bigger I felt a little lightheaded so I booked an online virtual doctor’s appointment with my physician at One Medical. “What seems to be your problem?” asked the doc. “I’m lightheaded and I think I might be anemic,” I stated. “Well, let’s get some blood work ordered and we’ll know for sure,” replied the doctor. “Anything else I can help you with?” "Yes, I’m wondering if I can still add a few items to my Amazon Fresh order?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 20, 2022 Report Share Posted September 20, 2022 Joke: I Want To Take It With Me Rich old man had three younger friends that he wanted to do something nice for. He summoned them to his mansion. He told them he wanted to do something nice for each of them and was gonna give each one million dollars. There was one stipulation, upon his death he wanted to be buried with that million from each of them. They all agreed. Several years later, the old man died. Fast forward to the grave site, the three men are there all by themselves. 1st man says to the 2nd man: “You know, I’m gonna miss our friend. But I have to admit it was tough to put all that money in the coffin.” 2nd man acknowledges and says, “Yeah, I know what you mean.“ The first two men look across the grave and say to the 3rd man, “You don’t look so sad. Did you put your million in the coffin too?” 3rd man says: “Oh yes, I did, and I’m gonna miss him too. But I don’t think he is gonna cash that check wherever he's going!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 21, 2022 Report Share Posted September 21, 2022 Joke: A True Gentleman I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 21, 2022 Report Share Posted September 21, 2022 Joke: Bigger Fish The swordfish has few predators in the wild. Except for the rare penfish, which is said to be mightier. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 21, 2022 Report Share Posted September 21, 2022 Joke: Wonder Woman and Spider-Man What would Wonder Woman and Spider-Man name their business? Amazon Web Services. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 21, 2022 Report Share Posted September 21, 2022 Joke: The Physics Lecture At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?” He said, “Sorry, no time.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 21, 2022 Report Share Posted September 21, 2022 Joke: Suspended or Revoked A man had recently moved and was filling out forms at his local police station: Q: Has your driver's license ever been suspended or revoked? "No, never." Q: Have you ever been convicted of a DUI? "Oh yes, lots of times!" Q: Have you ever been convicted of a driving-related felony? "Yeah, three of them." At this point, the officer stopped to ask: "Well wait a minute, if you have all of these DUIs and felonies, how come your license has never been suspended or revoked?" The man responds: "Never got one." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 22, 2022 Report Share Posted September 22, 2022 Joke: A Metal Detector I got my wife a metal detector as a present, but she didn't like it. Strange, as she always likes to dig up things from the past. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 22, 2022 Report Share Posted September 22, 2022 Joke: Everybody Clear Just so everybody's clear... I’m going to put my glasses on! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 22, 2022 Report Share Posted September 22, 2022 Joke: Postal Mail I got a big envelope in the mail that had written on the front, "Photographs: Do Not Bend." Underneath the mailman wrote, "Oh, yes they do." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 22, 2022 Report Share Posted September 22, 2022 Joke: Best Clock Joke Ever After five long years, I’ve come up with the best clock joke ever… …it’s about time! SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 22, 2022 Report Share Posted September 22, 2022 Joke: Enlightened A couple were returning home after a night out. The husband forgot his keys so the wife, a little annoyed, uses her keys to try to open the door. But the lock wouldn't budge. She asked her husband to turn on the flashlight and tried it again. The lock wouldn't budge. After trying for 20 minutes, she finally hands over the keys to the husband and says, "Here, you try". The husband inserts the key into the hole and turns. The lock opens immediately. No sooner the husband takes the key out of the locks, the wife quips, "You see... now THAT'S how you hold the light!" SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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