Discovering Your Sexual Role - How To Know If You Are Top Or Bottom? (Compiled)

[Guest Guest]

Is it possible for a pure btm to become top? And how to change 'btm face; to 'top face'? Since sec school I have been btm, and now even when strangers see me they str8away can tell that Im btm becx i got the 'btm face'

Isnt that gd? U are a btm and people can tell that u are a btm. There is nothing to hide.

I am a btm but have a 'top' face and people always mistaken me as a top. How i wish i have a 'btm' face.

[PerplexedOne]

Hi guys,

 

I'm curious to know: how long did it take you to determine if you're top, bottom, or flex?

 

Did you have a "teacher"?

 

Thing is, I bottomed a few times, and it hurt me very much.

 

I also tried to top once (only for a few minutes), and I preferred it to, well, getting it in my ass.

 

However, I'm not sure if that few minutes of top-ping is sufficient for me to come to a conclusion.

 

To put things in perspective, I bottomed until the top came, and I  did not come when I top-ped.

 

Please share? 

[SeannyShortcake]

Don't stress yourself lil one.

 

It happens if your top isn't skillful enough or if the situation wasn't arousing enough for you to cum as a top.

 

Continue experimenting.

 

There will be some that would prefer one role over another.

But everyone knows being versatile gets you more higher than the cloud nine

[Cube3]

Yep just enjoy!

[allyremen]

LOL. Body sizes, cock sizes and other physical bi by himts do not determine whether one is top or bottom! It is all in the mind. I am tall but I have met much taller and more muscular guys who want me to top them and I have met small dimunitive guys who want me to be the bottom. I am flex and I can accopmodate all :-) BTW, the best tops are not necessary big guys, many smaller tops are conscious of their being smaller and do make special effort top be good tops. I once asked one small top why he so "卖力", he said he need to try harder to impreess and to be frank, i enjoyed being impressed:-)

[Clickclock]

haha, trial and error here.

turned out I am a Top who isn't used to anal. I'm more of a BJ, kissing kinda guy. 

I won't say that my attempt at being a btm was painful, it was more likely uncomfortable.

[PerplexedOne]

haha, trial and error here.

turned out I am a Top who isn't used to anal. I'm more of a BJ, kissing kinda guy. 

I won't say that my attempt at being a btm was painful, it was more likely uncomfortable.

I would take uncomfortable over pain... :/

Maybe because my first few times was with the same, erm, impatient man?

[souljaboy]

It's your destiny if you're supposed to be a top/bottom. Search within (literally), and you will find the answer you require.

[nothandsome]

gay 从零开始

[darkflame]

Isnt that gd? U are a btm and people can tell that u are a btm. There is nothing to hide.

I am a btm but have a 'top' face and people always mistaken me as a top. How i wish i have a 'btm' face.

 

Sometimes I wonder how people determine top or bottom just by the face.

 

It's sadder when you have the in-between face and people are left to speculate on your role.

[otokonoko]

gay 从零开始

Lolol

[onlylonely]

keep trying and practicing.

By default all guys shd love to fuck. it damn shiok the feeling.

And if u love your man, u will let him fuck and you will enjoy bottoming for him.

[Guest Guest]

well,if u really like someone,and he ask u he wants to top or bottom you..usually many would give in to the request.. but being a flex,i do enjoy both positions.so yes,flex have the best of both,to take and to give..

That was how I ended up from top to becoming vers bottom. Once in a long while, I meet someone who make me go weak. He want I have to give in otherwise he is not going to do with me. But these types are usually the very selfish ones sure very rough. I get more pain than fun but still no regrets. Want to have fun must pay.

After a long long time become used to it so not as pain started to enjoy. Then become more easy...

[Guest Guest]

Sometimes I wonder how people determine top or bottom just by the face.

It's sadder when you have the in-between face and people are left to speculate on your role.

Also depends on who meets who.

Once I was in an orgy with 2 versatiles and 1 top. I was the only btm.

Everybody attacked me. But the top automatically attacked my ass and the 2 vers were watching and touching him more than me. Then he picked one of them and fucked him also. Then he also fucked the other vers. The other vers after getting fucked could not get hard again. After the next vers come, the top still very hard not come yet.

Then he fucked me and I make him come. In the end I was the only one still can play, the 3 of them all tired out.

[Guest question]

I always wonder how people know if other people is top or bottom .

How do they tell?

Is it really obvious?

[ivanl]

They ask

[ArchDragon]

bottoms.. usually have this way when they talk, the way they dress.. i really don't wanna stereotype.. but all the bottoms i've come across behaved exactly the same way. 

[Guest X bear]

Why don’t you start your question as how and who makes a, TOP or bottom to start. Is it you! Is it me! Strawberry champagne all night, lucky for you that what I like. So funny!

[Guest 张伯支]

4 hours ago, Guest question said:

I always wonder how people know if other people is top or bottom .

How do they tell?

Is it really obvious?

Bottom the ass very loose and there is literally a hole due to constant fucking

[lonelyglobe]

Time have changed, the trend now is towards muscular btm

[Guest Bottom]

Gay face, sissy, loose wrist, cat walk, facial make-up. Just to name a few bottom signs.

[iamziz]

At the sauna I wouldn't want to waste my time when someone approaches me. ''You top or bottom?'' I would ask.

 

 

 

[iamziz]

6 minutes ago, Guest Bottom said:

Gay face, sissy, loose wrist, cat walk, facial make-up. Just to name a few bottom signs.

 

There are tops who fit your stereotype 

[Guest Masculine btm]

19 minutes ago, Guest Bottom said:

Gay face, sissy, loose wrist, cat walk, facial make-up. Just to name a few bottom signs.

 

32 minutes ago, lonelyglobe said:

Time have changed, the trend now is towards muscular btm

Even amongst gays, there's so much bottom shaming that I'll hide by saying I'm versatile.

Most will think I look like a top especially other bottoms. I'll ignore them and still act like a top. The type of top I like is also masculine. I don't mind losing my body to him.

 

But I'll never let a sissy top fuck me. He don't even excite me to start with. I've never even met one so far. Maybe our stereotyping makes sure that we'll never bother to look at each other.

[kimlo777]

It is never to  be taken for granted.  I once introduced a very effeminate guy to my cousin.  My cousin is versatile but that night he wanted to top and very badly too.  He was furious when he called me later that night exclaiming that the femme wanted to fuck him instead and claimed that he had always played the top role and had never ever bottomed for anyone. 

 

My modus operandi is always to ask - so what do you like to do in bed?  I have had on several occasions met very macho men who turned me down because they want or need to be fucked so badly, my fantastico blowjob alone would not be enough for them!!!

Edited January 11, 2018 by kimlo777

[Guest Masculine btm]

17 minutes ago, kimlo777 said:

....

 I have had on several occasions met very macho men who turned me down because they want or need to be fucked so badly, my fantastico blowjob alone would not be enough for them!!!

That's the problem, people who think that I'm a top would be curious when I turn them down. I don't tell them that I'm a bottom but they can guess. Worse are those kaypoh ones who'll stalk me to find out. 

 

When I finally get pulled into a room and gets fucked like a whore, there's simply no way to hide all that banging and moaning from them. They'll be waiting outside to see me humiliated. It's like being a btm is considered lower status than them.

 

Those catty regulars at Keybox are the worse. They'll really remember me even though I'm not a regular there. They'll gossip about me, "go try him lah...see him so macho also no use, Confirmed he's a slut bottom one..." Finally now they seem to have disappeared from there.

[lovehandle]

9 hours ago, kimlo777 said:

It is never to  be taken for granted.  I once introduced a very effeminate guy to my cousin.  My cousin is versatile but that night he wanted to top and very badly too.  He was furious when he called me later that night exclaiming that the femme wanted to fuck him instead and claimed that he had always played the top role and had never ever bottomed for anyone. 

 

My modus operandi is always to ask - so what do you like to do in bed?  I have had on several occasions met very macho men who turned me down because they want or need to be fucked so badly, my fantastico blowjob alone would not be enough for them!!!

but kimlo based on your experience, u shd have easily have gauge accurately right?

 

 

though I m nt sure how shameful it is, isn't it a norm that worldwide there r tons more btms than top

10 hours ago, Guest Masculine btm said:

 

Even amongst gays, there's so much bottom shaming that I'll hide by saying I'm versatile.

Most will think I look like a top especially other bottoms. I'll ignore them and still act like a top. The type of top I like is also masculine. I don't mind losing my body to him.

 

But I'll never let a sissy top fuck me. He don't even excite me to start with. I've never even met one so far. Maybe our stereotyping makes sure that we'll never bother to look at each other.

 

[Rhyn]

Maybe it's the bottoms only you have encountered. It doesn't represent a majority, but thank you for that unsubstantiated correlation. 

 

19 hours ago, ArchDragon said:

bottoms.. usually have this way when they talk, the way they dress.. i really don't wanna stereotype.. but all the bottoms i've come across behaved exactly the same way. 

 

Another one. 

 

11 hours ago, Guest Bottom said:

Gay face, sissy, loose wrist, cat walk, facial make-up. Just to name a few bottom signs.

 

 

These type of stereotypes are some of the indirect reasons for subconscious discrimination and assumption that is not needed within the LGBTQ community. Half the time, we put our best foot forward to gain acceptance from people. The other half? Internal fighting with preconceived notions on a person's preferred role in bed by behaviour >_>

[Leanmeat]

10 hours ago, kimlo777 said:

It is never to  be taken for granted.  I once introduced a very effeminate guy to my cousin.  My cousin is versatile but that night he wanted to top and very badly too.  He was furious when he called me later that night exclaiming that the femme wanted to fuck him instead and claimed that he had always played the top role and had never ever bottomed for anyone. 

 

My modus operandi is always to ask - so what do you like to do in bed?  I have had on several occasions met very macho men who turned me down because they want or need to be fucked so badly, my fantastico blowjob alone would not be enough for them!!!

 

Interesting...

[Lonelyboy90]

there are indeed increasing numbers of masculine bottoms and feminine tops around. i have seen afew who are difficult to judge based on their appearance and behavior.

 

so... why not just ask if you are really into this person to see if he role-fit your desire?

[Guest Guest]

31 minutes ago, Lonelyboy90 said:

there are indeed increasing numbers of masculine bottoms and feminine tops around. i have seen afew who are difficult to judge based on their appearance and behavior.

 

so... why not just ask if you are really into this person to see if he role-fit your desire?

You know only the moment you are in bed with him

[fab]

Depends if he first attacks your hole or pole.

 

 

[Traveler3032]

It's good to be flex,   so you always win. 通吃！

[Guest bottom]

12 hours ago, Lonelyboy90 said:

there are indeed increasing numbers of masculine bottoms and feminine tops around. i have seen afew who are difficult to judge based on their appearance and behavior.

 

so... why not just ask if you are really into this person to see if he role-fit your desire?

 

I could never ever bring myself to be with a fem top...NEVER!!

[Guest Paradoxymoron]

Masculine bottoms are plentiful. You can’t tell from looking and talking with them. You will not believe it even when they tell you. But they allow to be rimmed and fucked. You got to try them to believe it. Fem top? You mean one who looks and behaves like Rupaul (drag race), but fucks like a boss? I believe they are also very bitchy and control freak in real life and very bossy in bed. Only a passive fem btm can stand them i guess? 

[Guest 72%dark]

When you say “top” and “bottom”, what do you have in mind?

 

1. During anal sex, the one who penetrates or the one who is penetrated.
2. The one who is more dominant/controlling/aggressive during sex, or the one who is more submissive/passive.
3. The one whose mannerisms are stereotypically masculine/macho/butch, or the one who’s more effeminate.

Strictly speaking, the terms “top” and “bottom” refer just to no.1. But people often conflate the three due to stereotypes and expectations.

 

As others have pointed out, you can’t be 100% sure about someone’s role preference during anal sex without asking (or trying it out during intercourse).

 

I know a guy who is effeminate and is passive during sex but will only ever penetrate during anal and oral sex; that makes him a top notwithstanding his other traits. I’ve encountered bottoms who want to be pounded like animals but are quite ‘bossy’ during sex, dictating to the top what they want and how. And of course masculine bottoms are everywhere; they’re the ones who anti-cruise each other at the gym.

 

(I think a far more interesting question is what people mean when they identify as “versatile” or “flexible”.)

[cutejack]

1 hour ago, 72%dark said:

When you say “top” and “bottom”, what do you have in mind?

 

1. During anal sex, the one who penetrates or the one who is penetrated.
2. The one who is more dominant/controlling/aggressive during sex, or the one who is more submissive/passive.
3. The one whose mannerisms are stereotypically masculine/macho/butch, or the one who’s more effeminate.

Strictly speaking, the terms “top” and “bottom” refer just to no.1. But people often conflate the three due to stereotypes and expectations.

 

As others have pointed out, you can’t be 100% sure about someone’s role preference during anal sex without asking (or trying it out during intercourse).

 

I know a guy who is effeminate and is passive during sex but will only ever penetrate during anal and oral sex; that makes him a top notwithstanding his other traits. I’ve encountered bottoms who want to be pounded like animals but are quite ‘bossy’ during sex, dictating to the top what they want and how. And of course masculine bottoms are everywhere; they’re the ones who anti-cruise each other at the gym.

 

(I think a far more interesting question is what people mean when they identify as “versatile” or “flexible”.)

My guessing or understanding , vers or flex are those follow mood to fuck or to be fucked. Consider.chin chai case la. Any fun goes 

Not any guys hor

Edited January 12, 2018 by cutejack

[Guest 1010]

if he touches your dick first he is bottom,  if he touches your butt first he is top.

If he touches your nipps first, he wanna to find out whether you are top or bottom by seeing your reaction (whether you respond by touching his dick or butt).

[Kimochi]

Just ask...  

[lovehandle]

12 hours ago, Guest 1010 said:

if he touches your dick first he is bottom,  if he touches your butt first he is top.

If he touches your nipps first, he wanna to find out whether you are top or bottom by seeing your reaction (whether you respond by touching his dick or butt).

yes, very good method

[trumpeter]

[Guest Masculine btm]

Because even the big fatty act superior after hearing me getting fucked and moaning in the room. That's why people want to kaypoh whether you are top or bottom especially if you not interested in them.

[BT90]

I suppose the easiest and most reliable way is to ask? Besides, one's sexual preference does not always fall neatly into that top--bottom binary. 

[GachiMuchi]

Some bottoms can be very obvious while some are much harder to spot.

The easier to spot bottoms are those whom had accepted themselves as bottom and don't mind other gays knows they are bottom. 

Then, there are those who don't like people to know they are bottom or whom are not so obvious to spot as bottom.

 

In the sauna, if you want to know who is bottom, there are few signs to look out for.

From outer appearance
1. some bottom will try to snare you by wearing their towel very low, showing their butt crack
2. some will walk in a feminine way or will try to act sexy
3. for those not so obvious, see if they carry condom or lube or little bottles in their hands. Lube & small bottles means they are bottom. condoms, likely top. most bottom prefers the top to carry condoms.
From touching
1. bottoms will touch your cock to see if you have a big or small cock. some will want to suck you and see how big your cock will grow, if it passed their size test, they will offer themselves to be fucked.
2. when you stroke/touch the butt of a bottom, they will know that you want to fuck them. A top will move your hand away from their butt. 
3. Flex will be harder to spot because some will depends of how much they like you before they let you fuck them, or when they enjoys the foreplay with you, Maybe then, they will let you top them.

4. In some rare cases, some top who feels that you are a better top then them and they want to try it for themselves to be bottom, they might let you top them. The universe must be in the right alignment of the Heaven, Earth and human before a top lets you fuck them. They are called the closet bottom because they will tell you that they are top and don't get fucked, and they will also tell you that no one knows they bottom to the right person and will ask you not to tell others that they bottom for you.
 

The above explanation may sound complicated, it is, because humans are very complex and gays are even more complicated when it comes to sex. 

 

Edited January 14, 2018 by GachiMuchi

[doncoin]

Have drag queens point and pronounce that whoever is a bottom. 

 

[Rhyn]

15 minutes ago, doncoin said:

Have drag queens point and pronounce that whoever is a bottom. 

 

 

 

OLD BUT GOLD

[tyan]

Just to add on in the sauna, if one try to reach their hole, at least a pure top will feel uneasy whereas a pure bottom will feel shiok.

Flex is more difficult to determine. 

[Guest A friend say]

1 hour ago, tyan said:

Just to add on in the sauna, if one try to reach their hole, at least a pure top will feel uneasy whereas a pure bottom will feel shiok.

Flex is more difficult to determine. 

A friend of mine is a flex and he told me that he will only fuck ugly people and allow himself to be fucked by only good-looking ones.  Are all flex the same?

[Kimochi]

4 minutes ago, Guest A friend say said:

A friend of mine is a flex and he told me that he will only fuck ugly people and allow himself to be fucked by only good-looking ones.  Are all flex the same?

Why fuck only ugly people???  

 

BTW not all humans are same. 

[tyan]

52 minutes ago, Guest A friend say said:

A friend of mine is a flex and he told me that he will only fuck ugly people and allow himself to be fucked by only good-looking ones.  Are all flex the same?

Flex top will allow the guy he likes to fuck him. 

Flex btm will allow the guy he likes to be fucked.