worldangel Posted January 10, 2021 Report Share Posted January 10, 2021 Joke: An older gent had an appointment .. An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. He approached the receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice the receptionist said, "Yes, I see your name here. You want to see the doctor about impotence, right?" All of the patients in the waiting room snapped their head around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied, "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation and I'd like the same doctor that did yours!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 11, 2021 Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 Joke: Honest Lawyer Two lawyers were in a coffee shop talking. One of the lawyer’s names was Thomas Strange. After a while their conversation became rather morbid, and they started to started to talk about what they were going to have on their tomb stones. Thomas said the he wasn't going to have his name put on his tomb stone, instead he was going have "Here lies the body of an honest lawyer!!!" "Why are you going to have that?" asked his friend. "Well", said Thomas, "When people are walking through the cemetery, and they see...Here lies the body of an honest lawyer. They will say "Oh...That's Strange". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 11, 2021 Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 Joke: A wife went to the police station... A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children." The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 11, 2021 Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 Joke: Don't Do It A man was watching TV and enjoying a beer. "Don't go," he yelled at the screen. "Do not enter that building. Walk away. Argh, you stupid man!" His wife called from the kitchen, "What on earth are you watching?" "Our wedding video." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 11, 2021 Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 Joke: I Am Suing You A woman walks in to her boss’s office and she tells him, "I heard all the other women in the office are suing you for sexual harassment. Since you have not harassed me, I am suing you for discrimination!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 11, 2021 Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 Joke: Knocked Up From Behind A father and son are having their final man to man talk before the son's wedding. The son asks his father, "Just to be sure Dad, is there any way a woman can get pregnant from anal sex?" The father astutely replies, "I thought the answer would be self-evident son, where do you think lawyers and IRS agents come from?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 12, 2021 Report Share Posted January 12, 2021 Joke: Like A Tiger Moth Women pilots relate every aspect of their lives to aviation. The first lady said her lover was like a Cessna Aero-bat. It got up to operating height very quickly, capable of amazing aerobatics, but with a short duration. The second lady likened her man to a Piper Cherokee, slow to climb, but with an endurance of no less than 4 hours. The third lady thought hers was like a Tiger Moth, coming out once a year for the annual display and relying on a hand start. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 12, 2021 Report Share Posted January 12, 2021 Joke: I Can Hold My Liquor A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. The bartender gives her the drink, and she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, this one is on me." As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too." The woman says, "Thank you, how sweet of you OK then, Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water." "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you a drink too." The woman says, "Thank you very much my dear. Bartender, I'll have another Scotch with two drops of water." "Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink this time, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" The old woman giggles and replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 12, 2021 Report Share Posted January 12, 2021 Joke: My Mother Is Better Little Johnny and Little Bobby and in a verbal battle... “My father is better than your father!” said Bobby. “No, he’s not!” said Johnny. “My brother is better than your brother!” said Bobby. “No, he’s not!” said Johnny. “My mother is better than your mother!” said Bobby. Little Johnny paused for a moment and said, “Well you’ve got me there. My father says the same thing.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 12, 2021 Report Share Posted January 12, 2021 Joke: Playing Hide-and-Seek A husband returned earlier from a business trip and he wanted to surprise his wife. The wife was, of course, in the bed with the neighbour - Peter. As she heard her husband coming home, she told Peter to hide in the wardrobe. She lied down on the floor, pretending she had a heart attack. Her husband came in and saw his wife on the floor. He was very alarmed! At that moment his little kid came in saying, “Daddy, daddy! Peter is hiding in the wardrobe!” The man went to the wardrobe and shouted, “You nerd! Instead helping me with my sick wife, you're playing hide-and-seek with the kid!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 12, 2021 Report Share Posted January 12, 2021 Joke: Minor operation A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and starts examining her naked body. He puts the sheet back and then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over, lifts the sheet and does the same examinations. When a third man does the same thing, but more closely, she grows impatient and says: "All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?" The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: "I have no idea. We're just painting the corridor." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 13, 2021 Report Share Posted January 13, 2021 Joke: Why Are You Weak? Son: Mom, hi. How are you? How’s everything in Florida? Mom: Not too good. I’ve been weak. Son: Why are you weak? Mom: Never mind. Son: What’s wrong? Mom: Never mind. It’s okay. Son: Why are you weak, Mom? Mom: I haven’t eaten in thirty days. Son: That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten? Mom: Because I didn’t want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 13, 2021 Report Share Posted January 13, 2021 Joke: Maturing Puppy Love Three years after the honeymoon it appears their puppy love had matured. "You don't love me anymore," she sobbed. "You use to be so nice to me, and now you are always barking and growling." "What do you expect," he demanded. "You've always got me in the doghouse." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 13, 2021 Report Share Posted January 13, 2021 Joke: Dependable Porter On a cross country train, one of the passengers told the Pullman porter, "I must get off in Chicago. I'll probably be very sleepy, irritable, and may even object to getting off. Don't mind that. Throw me off the train if necessary." The train had long since passed Chicago when the passenger woke on his own accord. He stormed down the train looking for the porter. As they almost collided between cars the porter's eyes popped really big and he said, "My goodness! How did you get back on this train?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 13, 2021 Report Share Posted January 13, 2021 Joke: Be Gentle this Time An elderly couple was sitting on the out porch when the husband turned to his wife and, "Muffin, I feel like making love tonight.” The wife replied, "Okay Ernest, I will let you, but be gentle this time." "But I am always gentle with you, dearest," "That’s not true," she replied, "but the last time you woke me up TWICE!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 13, 2021 Report Share Posted January 13, 2021 Joke: Concert Pianist In the Making The well-known concert pianist agreed to listen to a friend's daughter play the piano. He was a very polite man and didn't make a wry face, even though he wanted to. "Do you think I should go to the conservatory in Paris?" she asked after she had finished. "It can't hurt," he replied hastily. "There are many eligible bachelors there." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 14, 2021 Report Share Posted January 14, 2021 Joke: Splitting A Diet Soda Three Engineering students at a prestigious university were sharing a can of "one-calorie" diet cola. After pouring it equally into three cups one of them drank his. Then the second drank hers. The third Engineer just stared at the cup suspiciously. "I wonder who got the calorie?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 14, 2021 Report Share Posted January 14, 2021 Joke: Write You A Ticket Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policemen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tack’s evasion." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 14, 2021 Report Share Posted January 14, 2021 Joke: Just A Little Bit In Rio on a business trip, Sam found himself hampered, after working hours, by the fact that he did not know the language. He was at once delighted and dismayed, therefore, when a surpassingly beautiful young Brazilian woman with a plunging neckline sat down at his restaurant table. "Do you speak English?” “Si,” she said with a bright white smile, “bot jus’ a leetle beet.” “Just a little bit, eh?” Sam repeated joshing. “How much?” “Ninety-five dollars,” was the prompt reply. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 14, 2021 Report Share Posted January 14, 2021 Joke: Police Dog A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. "Well," says the personnel director, "You'll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute." Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute. "Also," says the director, "You must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course." This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time. "There's one last requirement," the director continues; "you must be bilingual." With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, "Meow!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 14, 2021 Report Share Posted January 14, 2021 Joke: That's cheap! After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 15, 2021 Report Share Posted January 15, 2021 Joke: A lady is throwing a party for ……… A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop some wood for her out back. Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house. The guests arrived, and all was going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown hadn't shown up. After a half & hour, the clown finally called to report that he was stuck in traffic, and would probably not make the party at all. The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to entertain the children herself. She happened to look out the window and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did mid-air flips, and leaped high in the air. She spoke to the other bum and said, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!" The other bum says, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him. 'HEY WILLIE! FOR $50, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 15, 2021 Report Share Posted January 15, 2021 Joke: Professional Worrier David had been extremely anxious for years. It got to the point where his compulsive worrying was ruining his life, so he went to a psychiatrist, who recommended that David hire a professional worrier. After he'd been working with the specialist for a few months, David's friend John noticed a change. "What happened?" John asked. "You don't worry about anything anymore." "I hired a professional worrier!" David answered. "That must cost a fortune," John said. "Yes, he charges $3,000 a month," David said sheepishly. "Three thousand dollars! How can you ever afford to pay him?" John exclaimed. "I don't know," David said. "That's his problem." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 15, 2021 Report Share Posted January 15, 2021 Joke: The shopkeeper was dismayed when ….. The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand-new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read "Best Deals". He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading "Lowest Prices". The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read... "Main Entrance". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 15, 2021 Report Share Posted January 15, 2021 Joke: The boss ordered one of his me... The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. The boss snorted. "Honestly! The kind of help you get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 15, 2021 Report Share Posted January 15, 2021 Joke: Good news...bad news.... The doctor took his patient into the room and said, "I have some good news and some bad news." The patient said, "Give me the good news." The doctor says, "They're going to name a disease after you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 16, 2021 Report Share Posted January 16, 2021 Joke: More snow It was a disastrous year for the farmers. The snow fell and fell until the government relief agency had to step in and lend a hand. "It must have been terrible," said the government man to a farmer. "All that snow." "Could have been worse," calmly answered the farmer. "My neighbour had more snow than me." "How's that?" asked the government man. "More land," replied the farmer. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 16, 2021 Report Share Posted January 16, 2021 Joke: One day a little girl was sitting and ... One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 16, 2021 Report Share Posted January 16, 2021 Joke: The best way to end a fight... Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, eighty percent of all men think the best way to end a fight is to make love." "Well," said the other woman, "if that was true, that would certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 16, 2021 Report Share Posted January 16, 2021 Joke: A guy walks into a bar........... A guy walks into a bar........... He orders a drink........... after a few.......... he must visit the john. he does not want anyone to steal his drink. so he puts a sign on it. saying, , " I SPIT IN THIS BEER, DO NOT DRINK'. after a few minutes he returns........... There is another sign next to his beer, saying, SO DID I. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 16, 2021 Report Share Posted January 16, 2021 Joke: Even when the man is listening what wife liked for her birthday A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, soda, and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?" One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size." The moral of this story: Even when the man is listening, he's still gonna get it wrong. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 17, 2021 Report Share Posted January 17, 2021 Joke: Playing doctor... After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor's boy, the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother. "It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age." the neighbor said. "Forget sexuality!" The mother yelled. "He took out her appendix!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 17, 2021 Report Share Posted January 17, 2021 Joke: I was out walking with my 4-year old ... I was out walking with my 4-year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh," I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy." "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 17, 2021 Report Share Posted January 17, 2021 Joke: Fun at the zoo! Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 17, 2021 Report Share Posted January 17, 2021 Joke: Be My Valentine A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 17, 2021 Report Share Posted January 17, 2021 Joke: A husband and wife were having ……. A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular corner and informed her he would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or problems. A gentleman pulled up shortly after and asked her how much to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her husband. The husband told her to tell the client $100. She went back and informed the client at which he cried, "That's too much!" He then asked, "How much for a handjob?" She asked him to wait a minute and ran to ask her husband how much. The husband said, "Ask for $40." The woman ran back and informed the client. He felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove his pants and underwear. Upon the removal of his clothing the woman noticed that the man was well hung. She asked him once more to wait a moment. She ran around the corner again at which her husband asked, "Now what?" The wife replied, "Can I borrow $60?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 18, 2021 Report Share Posted January 18, 2021 Joke: What Are Politics? Little Johnny was watching tv and he heard people talking about politics. So, he asked his dad, "What are politics?” The dad says, "Johnny, let me tell you what politics are in my own words. Since I am the breadwinner of the family, I am the capital. Since mommy deals with all the bills and taxes, she is the government. Nanny is the working class since she takes care of you. You are the people and your little brother Danny is the future." Then Johnny goes off and that night he hears Danny crying. So he goes in the room and notices that he pooped in his pants. Then he goes to his mom's room and she is ignoring him and telling him to go back to bed. So then he goes to the nanny’s room and finds his dad screwing her, so he leaves them alone and just forgets about Danny's poop in his pants. The next morning Johnny tells his dad what politics are in his own words. "Daddy, Daddy, I understand completely what politics are now. When the government is ignoring the people, the Capitol is screwing the working class and the future is deep in crap!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 18, 2021 Report Share Posted January 18, 2021 Joke: Yeah, But What Year? A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest. She was very good at identifying the wine. At the first taste she says, "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998!" All the people were amazed. At the 2nd try she answers "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953!" They were once again amazed. Then the drunk pisses in a glass and hands it to her. She tries it and says "Yuk, this tastes like piss!" The drunk says, "Yeah, but what year was I born?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 18, 2021 Report Share Posted January 18, 2021 Joke: The Penguin Likes Ice Cream A penguin is driving on a real hot day and suddenly his car starts acting up. He pulls into the first station he sees, and while the mechanic checks the car, he goes to the Ice Cream Parlour across the street. He gets a big cone, he makes a big mess with his flippers. There is ice cream all over his face. He walks back across the street to check on his car. He asks the mechanic, " We'll, what does it look like?" The Mechanic replies, " It looks like you have blown a seal." Penguin says, " Oh No! Its ice cream, REALLY!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 18, 2021 Report Share Posted January 18, 2021 Joke: A family took their frail, elderly mother ... A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning. Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 18, 2021 Report Share Posted January 18, 2021 Joke: No Insurance Coverage The gynaecologist examining Mrs. Reed looks up. “I’m sorry, but removing that vibrator will involve a very lengthy and delicate procedure. We’ll have to admit you to the hospital.” “I’m not sure my husband’s insurance will cover it,” Mrs. Reed says. “Why don’t you just replace the batteries and I'll go home?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 Joke: It Was Grandma's Idea A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck... so this was your Grandma's idea." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 Joke: A man walks over the Red Light A man walks over the Red-Light District in Amsterdam when suddenly he notices a fine-looking hooker looking at him. He stops, bangs on the window and asks, "So, what does this cost?" The hooker replies, "25 dollars." The man said, "Hmm, that's not a lot of money for insulated windows." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 Joke: The Hole The construction foreman ordered one of his men to dig a hole 8 feet deep. But after the job was done, the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered the worker. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. "Honestly!" the foreman snorted. "The kind of help I get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 Joke: At The Bar I was sitting at a bar with a friend the other night when he casually pointed across the bar from us and said, "see those two old drunks sitting there...that's going to be us in ten years." I looked and him and said, "that's a mirror stupid!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 Joke: Husband for sale A store where a woman may go to choose a husband has opened in the City. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: “You may visit this store only once! There are six floors, and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.” So a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor, the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 -- These Men Have Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 --These Men Have Jobs and Love Kids. “That's nice,” she thinks. “But I want more.” So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 -- These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are Extremely Good Looking. “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 -- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-Dead Good Looking and Help with Housework. “Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 -- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 -- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 20, 2021 Report Share Posted January 20, 2021 Joke: Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son …. Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis. After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem." The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pan cakes in the middle of the table. "Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?" "Just take two," Brenda replied, "The rest are for your father." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 20, 2021 Report Share Posted January 20, 2021 Joke: My mind is gone "Oh Goodness," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!" Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 20, 2021 Report Share Posted January 20, 2021 Joke: The Bearded Man From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands. "Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain. "I have no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad like that." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 20, 2021 Report Share Posted January 20, 2021 Joke: Behind the wheel... A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the driver, he was astounded to see that the woman behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn, and yelled, PULLOVER!" "NO," the woman yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts