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Joke: The farmer

 

A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & fucks all 150 hens.

 

The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens.

 

The farmer gets a bit worried now. The next day, he finds the rooster fucking the ducks, geese, & a parrot too which is now scaring him.

 

Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. The farmer says, "You horny bastard, you deserve this."

 

The rooster opens one eye, points up, & whispers, "Shh! Don't shout, let them land!"

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: The superman

 

After fighting some crime, Superman wanted to score some action. He flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see if she was available. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs wide open.

 

Superman thought to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet; I could be in there, have sex, and be out again before she knew what happened."

 

So, Superman did his super thing in a split second and flew off happily.

 

Meanwhile back on the bed, Wonder Woman asked, "Did you hear something?" "No!" said the Invisible Man, "But my ass sure hurts like hell!

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: The superman

 

After fighting some crime, Superman wanted to score some action. He flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see if she was available. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs wide open.

 

Superman thought to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet; I could be in there, have sex, and be out again before she knew what happened."

 

So, Superman did his super thing in a split second and flew off happily.

 

Meanwhile back on the bed, Wonder Woman asked, "Did you hear something?" "No!" said the Invisible Man, "But my ass sure hurts like hell!

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Does He Have A Brother?
 

Two guys are driving in the countryside. One says, "Tiger Wood... isn't he famous or something?"

"Yeah, I think he plays golf or something."

"Does he have a brother named Fire who's in jail?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"I just saw a sign that said 'FREE FIRE WOOD!'"

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: What's going on?

 

A mother comes home from work to find that her kids are hiding behind the couch. She asks what's wrong, and the kids reply that aunt Sally was in the house naked.

 

So, she goes to her bedroom to investigate, and she finds her husband lying on the bed naked and sweaty. She asks, "What's going on?"

 

He replies, "I'm having a heart attack." She says "I'm going to call 911, while I'm really looking for my sister."

 

She discovers the aunt in the bathroom closet in the nude, and gives her a slap, "How dare you! My husband is having a heart attack and you're running around scaring the kids!"

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Three babies

 

Three babies are in their mother's womb. One of them says, "I want to be an artist so everyone knows what it looks like in here."

 

The next one says, "I want to be a swimmer because I get so much practice in here."

 

The last baby says, "I'm going to be a hunter because if that snake comes in here and pokes me again, I'm going to chop that thing in half!"

Edited by worldangel

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Welcome to Hell

 

Two friends die. One goes to Heaven and the other goes to Hell.

 

The one that goes to Heaven begs the angel to let him visit his friend in Hell, and the angel agrees. He gets to Hell and sees his friend surrounded by beautiful women and alcohol everywhere.

 

He says to his friend, "Wow, you were a son of a bitch when we were alive! Hell looks better than Heaven." So the friend in Hell says, "Pour yourself a glass of wine."

 

The heavenly friend pours the wine, and notices that the glass has no bottom.

 

The good friend looks at the bad one in confusion, and the bad friend says, "The glass has no bottom, and neither do the girls. Welcome to Hell."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: This was your Grandma's idea!

 

A man is walking down the street, when he notices that his grandfather is sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.

 

"Grandpa, what are you doing?" the man exclaims.

 

The old man looks off in the distance and does not answer his grandson. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asks again.

 

The old man slyly looks at him and says, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: What's wrong, dearest?

 

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. "What's wrong, dearest?" asked the confused husband.

 

"Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! Whatever are we going to do?"

 

"Well," replied the man, "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: The dentist

 

An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs.

 

The dentist said, “Excuse me, but I’m not a gynecologist.” “I know,” said the old lady. “I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Two guys in line to enter heaven

 

Two guys are standing in line to enter heaven. One turned around and asked the other how he died. "I froze to death. How about you?"

 

"I had a heart attack." "How did that happen?"

 

"Well, I suspected my wife was cheating on me. So, after work I went straight home. I ran upstairs to find my wife sleeping by herself. Then I ran back downstairs and looked in all the hiding spots. When I was running back up the stairs, I had a heart attack."

 

"That's ironic." "Why?" "If you would've looked in the fridge, we'd both be alive."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: We Get A Choice?


A man and a widow go to City hall to get a marriage license.

While they are there, the clerk asks the woman if her previous marriage ended in death or divorce.

“I didn’t know I had a choice,” she replies.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: What I Can Do With My Hands


In Las Vegas, a man finds himself in a hotel. He didn't want to be alone in the room so he calls a hooker. The hooker arrived and tells him, "I want to tell you right up front, my minimum fee is $500, and that's for a hand job."

The hooker points out the window, and pointing to an expansive Mercedes says, "See that? I own that because of what I can do with my hands."

He was surprised, but figured what the hell so he did it anyway. Turned out to be best handjob ever! So, he asks, "How much do you get for pussy?"

Then the hooker replies, "Do you see the hotel sitting there on the corner? I could own that if I had a pussy!"

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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 Joke: It's Not An STD


An old lady, who as still a virgin, is sitting at home when she gets a tingly feeling down there. She goes to a doctor and tells, "I got a tingly feeling. I am a virgin, so I know it’s not a STD. What could it be?"

The doctor checks her out and comes back and says, "I got some bad news, I don't know what's wrong with you."

She goes to a second doctor and tells him the same thing, "I got a tingly feeling. I am a virgin, so I know it’s not a STD. What could it be?"

The doctor checks her out and comes back in and says, "I got some bad news, your cherry is rotten, and you got fruit flies!"

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Money issues

 

A wife and husband are having money issues. One day they decide to have the wife work the corner.

 

Later that night the husband goes to pick the wife up. He asks, "How much did you make, sweetie?" She answers, "I made $200.50."

 

The husband says, "What asshole gave you 50 cents?" She replies, "All of them."

 

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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 Joke: Two buddies

 

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one. "Well, not exactly."

 

His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it." "Oh, I see, kinky, huh?" "Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: The sailor

 

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

 

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea.

 

So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Two homeless men

 

Two homeless men are devising a plan to get free drinks at a bar.

 

The first one has an idea: "We'll buy a hot dog and stick it down your pants, walk into the bar, get our drinks, drink, and when the bartender asks for his money, you pull down your pants and I suck on the hot dog that you put down there. He'll kick us out, and we won’t have to pay. It's brilliant!"

 

The second man agrees and they do this in the first bar where it works just as planned. Then they hit up 4 more bars and the first man says, "This is great, getting all these free drinks!"

 

The other man replies, "Yeah, especially because the hot dog fell out at the first bar."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Cock-eyed

 

Once upon a time, a doctor performed surgery on a young boy with an eye defect.

 

After the surgery was done, he said to the parents, ""Your son is going to be just fine. We graphed some skin from his scrotum to widen his lid. He should have 20/20 vision when he wakes up."

 

The parents responded, "So his eye is going to be normal?"

 

"Well, like I said, his vision will be normal but he may be a little cock-eyed."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Me baby ……

 

A guy hires a hooker and brings her to his hotel. The hooker is in bed ready for action, and the guy starts undressing.

 

The hooker begins to laugh when he drops his boxers and asks, "Who do you think your're going to please with THAT thing?"

 

The guy responds, "Me baby, me!"

Edited by worldangel

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: The truck driver

 

A truck driver was driving between towns on a country road when he spotted a gorgeous blonde hitchhiking. He stopped without hesitation and she climbed into the cab showing mountains of cleavage.

 

Two miles further down the road, he got a flat, pulled to the side of the road and got out to inspect the tire.

 

He was fiddling around with the wheel, when the blonde opened the window and shouted down, "Do you want a screwdriver?"

 

The driver replied, all smiles, "Might as well. I can't get this fxcking hub cap off."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: "Yes, but don’t look down"

 

Bob was scared of going in the shower alone so he asked his dad to go in the shower with him his dad said "yes but don’t look down"

 

When bob and his dad were in the shower bob looked down and said "what’s that" his dad said "its just a snake"

 

The next day bob asked his mum to go in the shower with him his mum said "yes but don’t look up or down"

 

In the shower bob looked up and said "what are they" his mum said "they’re headlights", so bob looked down and said "what’s that"

 

His mum said "it’s a bush" that night bob had a nightmare so he asked his parents if he could sleep in their bed they said "yes but don’t look down"

 

Bob climbed into bed and looked down and said "mum turn the headlights on there’s a snake going into a bush"

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: A lower sex drive

 

A 96-year old man is pleading with the doctor for a lower sex drive.

 

"Surely you're imagining things," says the doctor.

 

"You're 96 years old. Isn't all the feeling for sex just in your head?"

 

"Yes," replies the elderly man, "that's why I want you to lower my sex drive to the place where it might do more good."

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Best buddies

 

Bubba and Leroy were sitting on the front porch of a trailer house.

 

Leroy says "Bubba, you and me are best buddies. If you were gone hunting and I had sex with your wife and she had my baby, would that make us Kin Folk?"

 

Bubba replied " I don't know Leroy, but it would dang shore make us even"

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: You have the wrong room?

 

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs.

 

The dentist said, ''I think you have the wrong room.''


''You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied.

 

"Now you have to remove them."

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: On the beach

 

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch.

 

A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady."

 

He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: The hooker

 

A man hires a hooker and they go back to his house. The man says I have never had a 69 before.

 

The hooker says okay let’s try that. they get into position and she farts. the hooker says o I'm sorry, i don't know what’s gotten into me. she goes into the bathroom to freshen up. she comes out and gets into position and again she farts. she says sorry i don/t know what’s gotten into me. Let me go freshen up . she gets into position again and she farts she says sorry let me go freshen up.

 

The man says don't worry I don't want 67 more of those

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Yay, shampoo

 

There were three women passing a forest and as they were walking, they saw a bare man stood behind a Bush.

 

He was stood still and when they went up to up to the man, he quietly spoke. He said ' I am a vending machine' . With this, the first woman pulled his dick and his handkerchief came off and the woman wore it.

 

The second woman pulled his dick and his glasses came off and she put them on. The third woman pulled his dick and out came a white liquid all over her hands...she shouted ' Yay, shampoo!'

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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 Joke: At the grocery store

 

Jack at the grocery store ask the lady to show him wear the cookies are. the lady takes him to the bathroom and takes off her shirt and bra, and show her boobs.

 

Jack said why you did you show me that, I wanted a bag of cookies I didn't mean those cookie. Then and the lady said then why didn't you say that you wanted the first cookie meaning not the second cookie meaning.

 

Then Jack said why did you think I wanted to see your boobs in a grocery store.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Masturbating before sex

 

The doc told a guy that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act.

 

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it," He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it before he got home to his wife. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution.

 

On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to play with his unit. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.

 

As he grew closer to the big finish, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"

 

He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"

 

The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."

 

The cop replied, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."

 

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Potential and realistic?

 

A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer.

 

The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!”

 

He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!”

 

Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell, yes I would. I’d be rich!”

 

When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: The hairy bikers

 

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.

 

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

 

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

 

While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

 

She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"

 

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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 Joke: Before operation

 

A man is drinking in a bar when he notices a beautiful young lady.

 

"Hello there and what is your name?" "Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey.

 

What's yours?" "I'm Jim." "Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight?"

 

“Sure!" replies Jim. "Let's go!"

 

At Stacey’s house, Jim notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk and asks, "Is this your brother?" "No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles.

 

"Is it your husband?" Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" "Then, it must be your boyfriend!" Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear.

 

She says, "No, silly!" "Then, who is it?" Stacey replies, "That's me before my operation!"

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: At the bar talking …

 

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.

 

The first guy says, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional."

 

The second guy says, "I'm a DINK. You know, double income, no kids."

 

The third guy says, "I'm a RUB. You know, rich urban biker."

 

They turn to the woman and ask, "So what are you?"

 

The woman replies, "I'm a WIFE. You know - Wash, Iron, F*ck, Etc."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Three women

 

Three women were trapped on an island. They needed to get across the water to the mainland.

 

They came across a genie who said, "I will grant you ladies three wishes."

 

The first woman said, "Turn me into a fish" and she swam across the water to the other island.

 

The second woman said, "Give me a boat" and she rowed to the other side.

 

The third woman said, "Turn me into a man" and she walked across the bridge.

 

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: A lot in common

 

An old lady was getting on the bus to go to the pet cemetery with her cat's remains.

 

As she got on the bus, she whispered to the bus driver, "I have a dead p*ssy."

 

The driver pointed to the lady sitting behind him and said, "Sit with my wife, you two have a lot in common."

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: A husband suspected his wife …..

 

A husband suspected his wife was cheating on him.

 

He explained his situation to a pet shop owner who replied, "I have a parrot that will let you know daily what goes on in your house.

 

The bird has no legs, so he holds onto his perch with his penis."

 

Reluctantly, the husband brought the bird home. At the end of the first day, the man asked the bird, "Did anything happen today?"

 

The parrot said, "Yes, the milk man came over."

 

The man asked, "What did he do with my wife?"

 

The bird said, "I don’t know; I got hard and fell."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Lollipop salesman

 

Three guys travel to Middle east and get lost. They walk into a tent that they think was the one they rented, but actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives.

The prince comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him. As a punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be cut off in some way relating to their occupation.


He asks the first guy what his job was.
"I'm an employee at the shooting range," he replies.


"Then we'll shoot your dick off!" the prince says.
"I'm a fireman," the second guy says.


"Then we'll burn your cock off!" says the prince.
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Big breasts

 

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?"

 

She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes."

 

Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: That is not prohibited

 

Officer: "Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake."


Lady: "Why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?"


Officer: "Well, that's not prohibited."

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: A job interview

 

One day three women went for a job interview.

 

The man interviewing them posed all three the same question. What would you do if you found an extra €50 in on your paycheck that you shouldn’t have received?

 

The first one said, “I’d give it back as it wasn’t mine and I wasn’t entitled to it.”

 

When he asked the second one she replied, “I’d give it to Charity.”

 

When he asked the third one, she was more honest and she said, “I’d keep it for myself and go out for a drink.”

 

Which one of the three women got the job? The one with the biggest tits!

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: "Returned unopened."

 

In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it.

 

She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: "Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin."

 

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said.

 

The men went to carve it in, but the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long.

 

They simply wrote: "Returned unopened."

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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 Joke: Well, congratulations…..

 

Stan is seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barge in holding their newborn baby. "Stop! You can't do this!" exclaims the brother.

 

And why not?" asks Stan. "Don't you want to have a beautiful baby someday? Like my wife and I have here?"

 

Stan says nothing. The brother grows impatient, "C'mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle."

 

Stan can’t take it anymore. He gives his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asks his brother, "You're sure you want a nephew?"

 

"Yes," the brother replies. "It would be an honor." "Well, congratulations, you're holding him."

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: A teenage boy ….

 

A teenage boy takes a quadriplegic girl on a date to dinner and the movies.

 

At the end of the night out, he drives her back home and they start making out in his car. He tells the girl he feels uncomfortable doing this where her parents could come outside and catch them in the act. She says not to worry because she has a place they can go.

 

So he helps her in her chair and she tells him to wheel her into the backyard. When they get in the back, she shows him a huge weeping willow tree that they can hide under and says he can do whatever he wants to her.

 

Under the tree, she shows him two branches that can prop her up and he has his way with her. When they finish, he dresses himself and her, puts back into her chair, wheels her to the front door, and knocks.

 

When her father sees the young man, he thanks him. The boy feels very uncomfortable because of what he just did to the man's daughter and asks, "Why are you thanking me?"

 

"Because son," the father answers, "You are the first boy to take her out of the tree."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Darla how did my dictate !

 

The Little Rascal's class were having a spelling test. The teacher asks if anyone can use the word "admire" in a sentence.

 

Spanky raises his hand and says, "I admire my dog." "Good job," the teacher replies, "Now, who can use 'respect' in a sentence?"

 

Alfalfa raises his hand and says, "I respect Spanky for admiring his dog."

 

"Ok, " replies the teacher, "now who can use the word 'dictate' in a sentence?"

 

There is silence in the class, then all of a sudden Buckwheat says, "Darla how did my dictate !?!"

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: 'Screw you too!'

 

This young fellow is about to be married, and is asking his grandfather about sex. He asks how often you should have it.

 

His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe you'll do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off, and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, like maybe on your anniversary."

 

The young fellow then asks his grandfather, "Well how about you and grandma now?"

 

His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now." "What's oral sex?"

 

The young fellow asks. "Well, she goes to bed in her bedroom, and I go to bed in my bedroom. She yells, 'Screw you,' and I holler back, 'Screw you too!'"

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: "She got fired too."

 

A man comes home early from work and tells his wife he just got fired.

 

He tells her, "I got caught with my penis in the pickle slicer."

 

His wife asks him if his penis is okay and he assures her it is fine.

 

"Well," she asks, "What happened to the pickle slicer?"

 

"Oh," he says, "She got fired too."

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: The construction worker

 

A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw.

 

He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't hear.

 

So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He points to his eye, meaning, "I," then at his knee, meaning, "need," and he moves his hand back and forth, meaning, "handsaw."

 

The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and begins to masturbate.

 

The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor yelling, ''What the hell is wrong with you!? Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a handsaw!''

 

The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, ''I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that I was coming.''

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: The three boys

 

Three boys were discussing their fathers' favorite foods.

 

The first kid said his father loves to eat burgers.

 

The second boy said his father loves KFC.

 

The third boy said his father loves to eat light.

 

The other two boys questioned how his father does that.

 

The third boy replied, "Every night I hear my daddy tell mommy to turn off the light so he can eat it."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: A man walks into a bar …..

 

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "If you can make that horse over there laugh, you can get free drinks for the rest of the night."

 

The man walks over, says something to the horse, it laughs, and he walks back over to the bar to collect his free drinks.

 

The next night, the man goes back to the bar and the bartender asks the man if he can make the horse cry.

 

The man walks over, does something to the horse, and it starts to cry.

 

The bartender asks, "How did you make it cry?"

 

The man replies, "Well, to make the horse laugh last night I told it I had a bigger dick and to make it cry tonight I showed it."

 

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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