worldangel Posted June 19, 2021 Report Share Posted June 19, 2021 Joke: When Did You Start? As they were undressing in the locker room prior to a vigorous racquetball match, Dan was surprised to see John slip off a pair of women’s panties. “Say, old shoe,” he said, “I hope you don’t think I’m being too personal, but, when did you start wearing ladies' underwear?” Dan replied, “Ever since my wife found them in my glove compartment.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 19, 2021 Report Share Posted June 19, 2021 Joke: Salesman A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. “Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.” “F*ck off!” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any money” and she tried to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. “Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse shit all over her hallway carpet. “If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse shit from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.” “Well,” she said, “I hope you’ve got a fxcking good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 20, 2021 Report Share Posted June 20, 2021 Joke: New CEO On a tour of the facilities, the new CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, ‘How much money, do you make a week?’ A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, ‘I make $400 a week. Why?’ The CEO said, ‘Wait right here.’ He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, ‘Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back.’ Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, ‘Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?’ From across the room a voice said, ‘That was the pizza delivery guy.’ Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 20, 2021 Report Share Posted June 20, 2021 Joke: Knock on the door Man walks up to a farmer’s house, knocks on the door. When a woman opened the door, the man asks if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door. Again, the man knocked, again, asked the same question. Again, not amused, she screamed get the hell away. Later, she told her husband of the incident. he said he would stay home the following day just in case. Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while the lady answered the door. When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex, she said yes. The man replied, great, give some to your husband the next time you see him, and tell him to keep away from my wife. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 21, 2021 Report Share Posted June 21, 2021 Joke: Bright orange A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he has a bright orange penis. The doctor takes a look and sure enough, the man’s penis is bright orange. The doctor asks the man about his daily habits to see if he could get a clue about the cause of the malady. The man says “My day is pretty normal. I get up in the morning and go to work. My work is at a desk in an office so I don’t come into contact with any strange chemicals. I come home after work, make myself a dinner, watch a little TV then get ready for bed.” The doctor asks “Do you do anything before bed?” The man says “Nothing unusual, I just eat cheetos and surf the web” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 21, 2021 Report Share Posted June 21, 2021 Joke: Mortician working late A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Sam, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Sam had the longest private part he had ever seen! “I’m sorry Mr. Sam,” said the mortician, “but I can’t send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity.” And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man’s distinguishing member. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife. “I have something to show you that you won’t believe,” he said, and opened his briefcase. “Oh, my goodness!” she screamed, “Sam is dead!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 22, 2021 Report Share Posted June 22, 2021 Joke: Woman in the dark Murphy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows. “Twenty Euros,” she whispers. Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only twenty Euros. So, they hid in the bushes. They’re going at it for a minute when all of a sudden, a light flash on them. It is a Police Officer. “What’s going on here, people?” asks the cop. “I’m making love to me wife,” Murphy answers sounding annoyed. “Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.” “Well, neidder did I, til ya shined that bloody light in her face!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 22, 2021 Report Share Posted June 22, 2021 Joke: Prostate exam A man goes to the doctor for his first prostate exam. While the Doctor is performing the exam, he says to the patient: ”Don’t be embarrassing, it’s common for men to get an erection during this part of the exam”. The patient answers “I don’t have an erection” The Doctor replies “I’m sorry I was talking to myself” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 Joke: Moral of the Story A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Kathy said, “My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess.” “And what’s the moral of the story?” asked the teacher. “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!” “Very good,” said the teacher. Next little Lucy raised a hand and said, “Our family are farmers, too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched, we only got ten live chicks and the moral to this story is, don’t count your chickens until they’re hatched.” “That was a fine story, Lucy. Johnny, do you have a story to share?” “Yes, ma’am! My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Marge. She was a flight engineer during Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a Machete. So .. she drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break. Then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed 70 of them with the machine gun until it ran out of bullets! Then she killed 20 more with the machete till the blade broke; then she killed the last 10 with her bare hands.” “Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?” “Stay away from Aunt Marge when she’s been drinking.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 Joke: Thermos Flask The boss comes into work carrying a thermos flask. His blonde secretary had never seen one before. “What’s that thing?” she asks. “Oh, this?” he says, “It’s just my thermos flask. It keeps my hot things hot and my cold things cold. Damn convenient.” “Oh wow, that DOES sound convenient!” she exclaims, “I might have to get myself one of those!” “Yep, I definitely recommend it.” And they go about the rest of the day. Sure enough, the next morning, when the boss comes in, he notices a brand-new thermos flask on his secretary’s desk. “Ah, I see you got yourself a thermos flask!” he says. “Oh, yes sir, I decided I could use something to keep my hot things hot and my cold things cold.” She’s beaming. He grins back. “Neat-o. So, whatcha got in there?” “Two popsicles and a cup of coffee.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 24, 2021 Report Share Posted June 24, 2021 Joke: Just Turn It Around A man walked into his lawyer's office with an apple and said he wanted to patent it. The lawyer looked at him and said it was just an apple and not to be so stupid. But the man explained that this is a special apple and asked the lawyer to take a bite. So, the lawyer took a bite and it tasted like a banana. The man told him to turn it round a little bit and have another bite, so the lawyer did and it tasted like an orange. He was amazed! The man told him he could make it taste like anything he wanted as he turned it round, so, the lawyer asks if he can make it taste like a juicy vagina. The man says no problem, hands the apple back to the lawyer and tells him to take a bite. The lawyer does and starts coughing and spluttering and spits the apple out. "That tastes like shit!" he shouts. The man just laughs and tells him, "Just turn the apple around." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 24, 2021 Report Share Posted June 24, 2021 Joke: Husband & wife texting The middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones. The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she’d send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend. She texted: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you. The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back: I’m on the toilet. Please advise. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 25, 2021 Report Share Posted June 25, 2021 Joke: My Dog Says A man is pulled over by a police officer and his dog sniffs. The police officer goes over and says to the man, “My dog says you have weed in the car.” The man responds, “Well, I don’t know about that, but I want whatever got you talking to the dog!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 25, 2021 Report Share Posted June 25, 2021 Joke: Not On Three Drinks Joe is getting drunk in his local bar when a gorgeous woman walks in. Joe buys her a drink, then another and another. After some small talk, he asks her back to his place for a good time. “Look,” says the woman, “What do you think I am? I don’t turn into a slut after three drinks, you know!” “Okay, so how many does it take?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 25, 2021 Report Share Posted June 25, 2021 Joke: Lying Back to Back The cynical husband called his voluptuous wife to tell her he’d discovered a new sexual position for them to try. His wife was excited by the outlook of something fresh in their unimaginative intimacies and she pressed for more information. “In this new position, we’ll do it lying back to back,” he said. “Back to back?!” she said. “I don’t understand how that’s possible?” "It’s quite simple,” he replied. “I’m bringing home another couple.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 25, 2021 Report Share Posted June 25, 2021 Joke: I Have A Problem A guy goes to this doctor and says, “Doc I have a problem.” “What kind of a problem?” the doctor asked. “Well, before I go to work my wife jumps me and we have sex three times. When I get to the office, my secretary and I have sex, and then at lunch we have sex and a ‘quickie’ at the end of work. Then when I get home, my wife jumps me again before dinner, after dinner, before we go to bed, and before we go to sleep. All this happens every day.” “So,” asks the doctor, “what’s the problem?" “When I jerk off, I get dizzy.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 26, 2021 Report Share Posted June 26, 2021 Joke: Create Your Own Fun I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes. When I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a name, he glared at me, and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So, I called him a worse name. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. But I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 26, 2021 Report Share Posted June 26, 2021 Joke: Couple in accident An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview John who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Sarah. “Been out for a few have we mate?” asks the officer. “Shuure ave mate” grins John. “I realize you are very drunk sir,” states the officer, “but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 27, 2021 Report Share Posted June 27, 2021 Joke: That's Strange A lawyer’s name was Strange. When he died his friend asked the tombstone maker to write, “Here lies Strange, an honest person, and a lawyer.” The tombstone maker warned that this statement can be very confusing, as anyone who passes by grave would think that three men were buried in a single grave. However, he suggested another statement, “Here lies a person who was not only honest but also a good lawyer." This way, whenever people walk by his grave and read it, they will say, “That’s strange!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 27, 2021 Report Share Posted June 27, 2021 Joke: Hi-Tech Daughter: “Dad, I’m in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am here and he lives overseas. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype and now we’ve had two months of relationship through Viber. Dad, I need your blessings and good wishes.” Father: “Wow! Really!! Then get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon and send them through Paypal. And if you are fed up with your husband…. sell him on E-bay”. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ma Lu Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 why did the chicken cross the road? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyglobe Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 20 minutes ago, Guest Ma Lu said: why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 Joke: The Wheelbarrow After hearing a couple’s complaint that their intimate life wasn’t what it used to be, the sex counsellor suggests they vary their positions. “For example, “he says, “you might try the wheelbarrow. Lift her legs from behind and off you go.” The eager husband is all for trying this new trick as soon as they get home. “Well, okay,” the hesitant wife agrees, “but on two conditions. First, if it hurts you have to stop right away. And second… you have to promise we won’t go past my parents’ house." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 Joke: Too Wiggly and Limp Grandpa and his 7-year old grandson are gardening when to boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t,” says Gramps. “It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.” The kid runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board, and proceeds to put it right back into the hole. Grandpa hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray, and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later, Grandpa comes out and hands the boy another five dollars. “Grandpa, you already paid me,” says the kid. “I know. This is from your Grandma.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 29, 2021 Report Share Posted June 29, 2021 Joke: Birthday Wish A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday. "I'd like a little brother," a boy said. "Oh my, that's such a big wish," said the mother. "Why do you want a little brother?" "Well," said the boy, "there's only so much I can blame on the dog." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 29, 2021 Report Share Posted June 29, 2021 Joke: What Goes Around, Comes Around An older couple went to dinner at a trendy restaurant that had no printed menus--just a scannable QR code to see the menu on your phone. After much grumbling about new-fangled things, they ordered a light dinner and afterward the waiter delivered the check. When the waiter came back for payment, the husband displayed his phone to the waiter showing an image of a $100 bill. "Here. You can keep the change." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Joke: First Pint I was reading an article last night about fathers and daughters and memories came flooding back of the time I took my daughter out for her first pint. Off we went to our local pub which is only two blocks from the house. I got her a Fosters. She didn't like it... so I had it. Then I got her a Carling Black Label, she didn't like it... so I had it. It was the same with the 1664 Lager and Premium Dry Cider. By the time we got down to the Scotch I could hardly push the stroller back home. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Joke: Dentist Office Wake Up My two-year old granddaughter, Sally was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by the dentist. Sally kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed. With about six other patients waiting, Sally marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "Wake up! This is not museum!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Joke: Overseas Trip A man was telling his friend that on one of his previous trip to New York City he parked the car to go get some coffee. When he returned someone had stolen all the hubcaps off the car. So before he went to get a cup of coffee on his next trip to NYC, he put a sign on the windshield saying the hubcaps are registered, and therefore, cannot be sold. His friend asks, “So, what happened when you came back, were the hubcaps there?” The man says, “Yeah, all the hubcaps were there, but the car was gone. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Joke: Retirement Question I've often been asked, "What do you do now that you're retired?" "Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 1, 2021 Report Share Posted July 1, 2021 Joke: The Interview Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Some One" Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 1, 2021 Report Share Posted July 1, 2021 Joke: “Surprise” Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 2, 2021 Report Share Posted July 2, 2021 Joke: I took them off Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 2, 2021 Report Share Posted July 2, 2021 Joke: Baseball bat A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 3, 2021 Report Share Posted July 3, 2021 Joke: Lying on the beach A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 3, 2021 Report Share Posted July 3, 2021 Joke: Losing interest in sex A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 4, 2021 Report Share Posted July 4, 2021 Joke: Pesticide Condoms One day a man goes to visit his doctor and asks, “Do you have any pesticide condoms?” The doctor says, "You mean spermicidal?" "No," the man says, "I mean pesticide because my wife has a bug up her ass and I’m going in after it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 4, 2021 Report Share Posted July 4, 2021 Joke: More Than I Intended A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewellery store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?" blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 5, 2021 Report Share Posted July 5, 2021 Joke: Life's Saddest Disappointment The male teacher in a girls' school asked the science class, "Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated? Mary, can you tell me?" Mary blushed furiously as she stood up. She said, "Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I will complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal." The male teacher was taken aback at first by Mary's reaction. Then, as understanding dawned on him, he called for another pupil, this time a volunteer. Lily put up her hand. "Yes, Lily?" "Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the eye." "Very good. Thanks, Lily," said the male teacher. He then turned to the first girl, who had threatened to complain to her parents and principal. He said, "Well, Mary, I have three things to tell you. First, you have NOT done your homework. Second, you have a DIRTY mind. And third, I fear, one day, you are going to be sadly disappointed." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 5, 2021 Report Share Posted July 5, 2021 Joke: I Can't Sell You Arsenic A lady walks into the drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" "To kill my husband." "I can't sell you arsenic to kill a person!" The lady lays down a photo of a man and a woman in a compromising position. The man is her husband and the woman is the pharmacist's wife. He takes the photo, and nods, "I didn't realize you had a prescription." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 6, 2021 Report Share Posted July 6, 2021 Joke: I'll Show You My Battle Scar It was a surprise party for one of the girls in the office who was leaving to get married. Most of the other girls wanted to know if the prospective groom was a man of means. “Well,” said the bride-to-be, “he surprised me by saying we were going to spend our honeymoon in France.” The gals tittered excitedly. “How did he spring it on you?” they asked anxiously. “Well, we were discussing it,” she replied, “When he said as soon as we were married, he would show me where he was wounded in the war.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 6, 2021 Report Share Posted July 6, 2021 Joke: Three Wishes A man was walking down the road then he kicked a bottle. All of the sudden a genie popped out, “I will grant you three wishes." The man smiled and said," Ok, I want to be soft to the touch, but hard as a rock and surrounded by pussy." The genie smiled, "Wish granted." The man turned into a tampon. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 7, 2021 Report Share Posted July 7, 2021 Joke: A Big Potato Jake and Jim are chatting at the beach. Jake asks Jim how come he is always so popular with the women. Jim explains, "I find a big potato and put it down my swim trunks and that’s my secret." A few days later they meet again on the beach and Jake says, "I tried what you said but all they do is look at me in disgust." Jim replies, "Yes, but you are supposed to put it in the front, not the BACK! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 7, 2021 Report Share Posted July 7, 2021 Joke: Why Did You Do That? A woman was talking to her husband and tells him, "Guess what? Today I spent 150 dollars on bras." He looks around as if confused. “Why did you do that, you are practically flat,” he responded. With her hands on her hips and aggravation in her voice, she said, “In that case, why do you buy trousers?” blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 8, 2021 Report Share Posted July 8, 2021 Joke: Let's Track Her Down A cannibal father and son were walking through the jungle when they saw a pretty and naked blond run by. The son said, "Dad, let's track her down, kill her, and then and eat her!" The dad replied, "No, let's track her down, take her home, and then eat your Mother!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 8, 2021 Report Share Posted July 8, 2021 Joke: The Lousy Lover The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, “You know, you are a lousy lover!” The husband replies, “How would you know after only thirty seconds?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 8, 2021 Report Share Posted July 8, 2021 Joke: I'll Start At the Feet Two cannibals are sharing their prey. One said to the other, "I'll start at the feet up and you start from the head down. We will meet in the middle." After a while one says to the other, "How are you doing so far?" "I’m having a ball!" the other replied. "Slow down, you're eating too fast!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 8, 2021 Report Share Posted July 8, 2021 Joke: Young Ambitions A daddy teased his little daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her kindergarten class. The little girl was quite indignant. "No, daddy, I don't like him!" she stated. "He's only interested in one thing." Shocked, the daddy cautiously asked what that one thing might be. "Paw Patrol, of course," said the girl. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 9, 2021 Report Share Posted July 9, 2021 Joke: No Gas or Needles The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Smith made it clear he was in a big hurry. "No fancy stuff, doctor," he ordered. "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with." "I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?" Mr. Smith turned to his wife Becky, "Show him, honey." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 9, 2021 Report Share Posted July 9, 2021 Joke: Fairy Tale Ending Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princesses’ lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am, and then my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so." That night, the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and shallot cream sauce. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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