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Posted

Joke: Black Panther Cast

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

 

They’re the Tolkien white guys.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Blood Donation

I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask way too many personal questions.

 

Like, “Whose blood is this”, and, “Where did you get it?”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Punchline

When does a joke become a dad joke?

 

When the punchline becomes apparent.

 

When does the punchline become apparent?

 

After the delivery.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: That’s Not Going To Work!

When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, “Ha! That’s not going to help!”

 

“Sure, it does.” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: No Comparison

My wife asked me how she compared to past girlfriends so I told her she was the only one I had been with.

 

The others were all eights and nines.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Sound Advice

Prisoner: I’m sorry I tried to escape.

 

Guard: I’m not mad, just… disappointed.

 

Remember, kids, never let your guard down.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Mystery Writers

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

Two. One to screw it in most of the way, and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Cardiologist

I couldn’t undo the buttons on my sweater so I tried pulling it over my head but it got stuck.

 

I’m at the hospital now, waiting to see a cardyologist.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

 

Joke: Deodorant Stick

I bought a deodorant stick today.

 

The instructions said, “Remove cap and push up bottom.”

 

I can barely walk but when I fart the room does smell lovely.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Back In The Old Days

“Back in the day,” my grandfather started to say, “You could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a bit of butter as well.”

 

“But today,” he continued, “Wherever you go, there are cameras.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Powerhouse

If I ever go to prison, I’m gonna change my name to mitochondria…

 

I want everyone to know I’m the powerhouse of the cell.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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